<p>I'm frustrated with my DS. He has always been a procrastinator, but usually pulls it out in the end. Most things come easily to him, and I think this may be the root of the problem, he doesn't really work too hard at anything. He occasionally has flashes of inspired work. I have tried every kind of discussion/pep talk that I can think of, and it doesn't inspire him, or not for very long. I realize that he will have to work through this himself at some point, but I really don't want to see him flounder like this for his last semester of high school.</p>
<p>He has basically stopped doing his homework, or just does the minimum so as not to fail. I think once his apps were done, he felt done, in a burned out kind of way. He applied RD, so he is waiting to hear from schools, but truth be told, he seems a little ambivalent about college. Frankly, we are concerned that he might not apply himself when he gets to college. He has a 3.7uw/4.1w, and 2340 SAT. He's a good test taker, but homework, not so much.</p>
<p>I should add, he's a really great kid. Very personable, communicative, not involved with drinking/drugs. He just hates homework! Any advice?</p>
<p>it’s dangerous to completely go on vacation just because your apps are done; colleges will want to see your mid year report and final transcript. you should warn him of this. also, you should let him know his gpa is already a little shaky. (nothing too serious, but really, there will be people applying with 4.0s)</p>
<p>as a senior, i’m burnt out too. and i’m not the only one.
um, this might not be sound advice, but just tell him to get his homework done… it doesn’t have to be at home. he can do it at school during lunch before the class, or even during the class that it’s due in (sneak it into the hw pile when the teacher isn’t looking =]). and if he really doesn’t want to put in effort, just have him fake the answers (does his teachers actually read the hw? mine don’t. and even if they do, just say you put in your best effort). OBVIOUSLY this is not advice that a counselor would give to a student, but this is my advice (that i take) for burnt out students who really can’t force themselves to do work. considering he’s a good test taker, his test grades should be fine.</p>
<p>my motto: just get it done, somehow someway. =)</p>
<p>Let him know that his slacking in not doing the HW, along with subsequently lower grades, might cost YOU real money, sometimes significant, (assuming you’re paying for his college - otherwise it’ll cost him) due to possible lost merit aid. In addition, even if he gets acceptances, he needs to realize that if a grade dips below a ‘C’ he could end up getting the admission rescinded once the college learns of his final grades.</p>
<p>He’s done okay this far, making a good effort for just a few more months is not a big deal unless he’s going to let his slacking in this regard rule his life.</p>
<p>My otherwise brilliant daughter did absolutely no homework her senior year that wasn’t graded. She had just had enough of it all. I did not hear about it until later, but she pulled through.</p>
<p>Our DD is also very smart, but ADHD inattentive, and very burnt out second semester senior year - she also was working on her arch portfolio for some time after the main college app deadline, and an app for her gap year program. By April she’d had it. BUT she was very motivated for college.</p>
<p>Our motto became “eyes on the prize!” (apologies to Taylor Branch) What do you need to finish to graduate and to not be rescinded? DO THAT! Anything else a teacher assigns, lower priority. No time for perfectionism - focus on the goal, you are ALMOST at the finish line, YOU CAN DO IT! She did do it, including going to extraordinary lengths to finish her senior tech lab project. When she crashed after graduation, and gave up on pursuing summer employment or even volunteer work, we forgave her.</p>
<p>@springgarden: honey, is that you? I thought this might be my DH talking about my DS. LOL!! </p>
<p>Ok, seriously, my advice is lay off!!! </p>
<p>My S has always struggled with “busy work” which is what homework is when you have an incredible memory for what has been covered in class. He simply does not need that reinforcement that many do, via homework. </p>
<p>BTW, What kind of teachers pile on homework in the 2nd semester of senior year? Really? Let it go. Its time for all the emotional “last” and “first” things and time to decide on a college and apply for scholarships. HS is so done. </p>
<p>I think a young person who is academically gifted but has no motivation to work at it is a prime candidate for a gap year. Sometimes good students slip because they can’t see “the point of it all”. A gap year well-spent in volunteering, promoting a cause, etc., can sometimes light a fire that plain old academics can’t. On the flip side, it can motivate the student with the realization, “I don’t want to get stuck doing something like that the rest of my life, so I’d better get a college degree.”</p>
<p>Thanks all for your replies. Eaglemom, you made me laugh. It is so comforting to know that other parents struggle with this issue.</p>
<p>Mantori- A gap year is something that we have talked about. His issue, although worse now, has always existed. Hence the discrepancy between his grades and test scores. He absolutely does express the “pointless nature” of school. </p>
<p>I think the teachers contiue to give the homework so that the kids don’t slack off. Also they are preparing them for AP tests. I wish he could just coast</p>
<p>BBD- I am trying to encourage him to keep his eye on the prize. </p>
<p>UCSD/UCLA Dad, I hope that slacking will not rule his life, But I fear it might. And actually, this is what I worry about the most. That senioritis is a metaphor and portent for his future struggles.</p>
<p>And Wuchu, thanks for the practical advice. I will pass it on.</p>
<p>Make sure he realizes the importance of his final semester- colleges have been known to withdraw acceptances. Tell him he needs to maintain his gpa to keep his college acceptance. Also- if his college gives credit for AP test scores that may motivate him to do the work for those classes (no guarantee- my son got a second semester C in AP Chemistry the month after the AP exam he got a 5 on).</p>
<p>Aside from that, don’t worry at all. My young (16, almost 17 when started college) son did just fine on his own at big public U- he was motivated there. A recent, years later conversation with him revealed how he was bored in HS classes and would do math work in his head instead of showing it like he knew/knows he should have. Likewise he underperformed in other HS classes. But- once he hit the college he wanted to be at he did well- chose Honors courses and did the work. I had worried about the son who slept through his alarm (it was loud enough for me to hear it down the hall), but found out he never had a problem sleeping too late away at his college- or any other potential problems I had worried about.</p>
<p>Your son is likely to do much better in college than HS simply because he won’t be as bored. Do NOT make him postpone college with a gap year. He’ll thrive with the academic stimulation of college. His HS behavior is not a portent of trouble with college.</p>
<p>Our S went thru this after he was accepted ED. I used to check the online grade system every week or two while he was in HS. Never really had any problems. All of a sudden, I start seeing missed assignments, lower than normal grades, etc. I let it go for a couple of weeks just to see what happened. When things didnt get better, we had a little talk. The major points were: </p>
<ul>
<li> I noticed your grades are way off across the board.<br></li>
<li> I get senioritis, this is a pretty normal thing.</li>
<li> Pretty soon youll be off at college.<br></li>
<li> Were giving you a great opportunity at great expense. We want you to take
full advantage.</li>
<li> We wont be checking up on you. Its all up to you. </li>
<li> We need to be able to trust that you will do your work there.</li>
</ul>
<p>His response was classic: I was sorta wondering when you were gonna say something. Ha! My reply, Im saying something. </p>
<p>Fortunately, everything turned around and alls well in college, too. You know best whether to push or cajole. But I wouldnt completely layoff. As others have said, schools have been known to rescind acceptances if things can out of hand.</p>
<p>As another senior, I understand why your son isn’t doing homework. In fact, I’m not doing mine right now. The thing is, we’re almost at the end. A missed homework here and there is not going to prevent us from going to college. Which, by the way, we ARE going to - a little laziness now is no valid reason for a whole gap year. The whole cause of senioritis is that we have all, collectively, hit a wall. Our work thus far has paid off, as we receive acceptances, scholarships, etc. The next 70 class days or so are speed bumps on our way to freedom. We’re not hitting the gas to get over them, that’s too much effort for such little payoff. We’re going to take it easy, do what we have to do and enjoy the freedoms we can get at this point. My goal for this semester is not a specific GPA to surpass, as it used to be. My goal is to make up for all the sleep I’ve lost staying up late to study and finish work the last three years. I’m going to maintain a decent GPA, you really have to make a conscious effort to drop 5 points, never mind more than that. Let your son put it as much or as little effort as he thinks he should. That’s exactly what he’s going to do in the fall. </p>
<p>And if this scares you as a parent, please, try to remember the last few months of your senior year. Did you drive yourself nuts? Somehow, I doubt it. Senioritis is nothing new, it’s just a fancy name for coasting through the end of high school.</p>
<p>I haven’t read all the other comments but being a parent is really tough and we do so much to protect and shelter our kids. They need to learn that actions have consequences and just be clear that this could hurt his college choices. If he loses out then he will have to deal with the consequences.
Sounds harsh but it’s tough love and will make them better adults.</p>
<p>Well, I will admit to something…after NEVER, EVER giving money or rewards for grades for any of my kids, but just telling them that they must be proud of themselves for doing well, I faced the problem of my valedictorian son slacking off second semester of senior year. At the same time, he was begging to borrow money for “beach week” (which I consider the bane of my existence - I want to know who ever thought of such a horrible idea).
Anyway, I told him that “beach week” was contingent on his grades - and I did lend him the money with a deal that he would have to pay less of it back for each A that he earned (he still had to pay a substantial amount of it back). This went totally against my principles, I have to add, but it worked. He buckled down again to his schoolwork and ended up being the valedictorian.
I just hated for him to blow the whole thing for one semester of senioritis - I mean it would have been his decision, but I think that he was approaching it from an immature standpoint and he would have regretted it later if his performance slipped.
He is now self-motivated again and doing very well in college.
Good luck - you have a very bright son on your hands!</p>
<p>I am reading “That crumpled paper was due last week” which is excellent. A professional organizer writes about how she helps teen males. She says that high school is NOT structured for teen male brains – and that many supposedly “cool” or “relaxed” teens are interiorly maximally stressed. </p>
<p>I know you are looking ahead to college and thinking now is the time to save every nickel – but sometimes you need to pay out now to survive until June. What about throwing some major bucks at the kid and say "here’s money for a train/plane ticket for you and a buddy to go to . . . " anywhere for a weekend. Say “You are going to be on your own in September, time for you to get the feel of finding your way.”</p>
<p>Note that I didn’t say “Road trip” – that option is for the teen that you really feel is ready to handle the car responsibly. Trains and planes are great. Southwest can take you all sorts of places for $100. </p>
<p>I had to arrange a flight for a funeral and I was on line and surprised how cheap the tickets to London were (that particular night). Man, I wanted to ship my cheeky senior over for a three day weekend! (IT wouldn’t bother them to be fly in, spend the day and fly out. Ah, youth!). </p>
<p>Anyway, throwing some major liberty at a guy can take the grind and resistance away. Plus major liberty takes him away from the really dangerous stuff: booze at a buddy’s house down the street. </p>
<p>Our guy got to go to an April admit weekend on the opposite coast and that helped (some).</p>