PLEASE help me grade my FRQ! Ive failed every one and i don't know wat im doingwrong!

Test Preparation AP History & Social Sciences
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WOOPS ITS ACTUALLY A FRQ</p>

My teacher didn’t fill out the rubrics on my DBQ’s and FRQ’s so I never know what I missed! Also, we have never done practice ones. My dad is really mad at me for getting bad grades and I’ve also failed every unit test! I feel so stupid! Everytime I try to say something logical and smart in the class everyone laughs at me because it ends up being misinterpreted. Anyway, could you please help me? I can’t have a failing class because I already have bad grades in my other classes! </p>

I really need someone to give me the feedback that my teacher won’t give me! Please help me! THANKS!!! (Here is my 2nd DBQ I ever wrote. I got a ‘4’ on it. I didn’t have time to finish it and I got all flustered well I was writing it and got all lost and starting writing down unorganized crud! my brain like got all floaty and stupid!)
I think the question was to analyze the tech. and learning advances that affected the age of exploration. My teacher did not fill out rubric but wrote vague comments. **I will write in the comments that my teacher wrote)</p>

START:</p>

Exploration and trade were greatly affected by learning and tech. advances. The Renaissance had been occuring, religous prosecution and religious power struggle occuring, and revolutionary tech. advances. All these factors affected tech. and learning which in turn, greatly influenced trade and exploration for centuries to come. <strong><em>TEACHER WROTE “you need to write in complete sentences”. please tell me how I can make this into complete sentences? I thought i did!!</em></strong></p>

First, technology had a great effect on the exploration and trade during the 15th and 16th centuries. Recent revolutionary technological advances made travel easier and safer. These advances/tools were the compass, which told which way was north so they wouldn’t get lost, the astrolobe, which made travel by the north star easier, stronger ships, which made trips less suceptable to storm damage and raids/attacks, and finally, maps. Maps had recently advanced due to the new knowledge of geography and ways to make them more mathematical (Mercantile projection) for travel. Overall, the new advances in technology had envouraged merchants and explorers by showing that traveling and trading by sea was safer and more successful now.</p>

Learning advances also had an influence of trade and exploration. The Renaissance had been occuring and bringing new philosophy and outlook to Europe. Humanism, from the Renaissance, caused people to have more of a hunger for induviduality and finding what was beyond the religious realm, ready to expand more about their world. Also, new literature, such as novels about finding new lands caused more curiosity and mroe traders and explorers to set sail. Finally, religious persecution and religious endeavor was a great influence. Many Lutherans/Protestants were not allowed to practice their religion in their country. <strong><em>MY teacher crossed out the NEXT sentence and wrote “NO!” by it</em></strong>They had an advance in learning when they discovered that they could go to the New World and that caused more exploration and trading. <strong><em>end of “no!” sentence</em></strong> The catholics, though, who had lost much influence during the Renaissance and rise of the protestants learned that they could gain more power through other lands as recovery. These learning advances all contributed to influencing Euro. exploration and trade.</p>

Overall, trade and exploration were greatly affected by technological and learning advances caused by the Renaissance, religious endeavor <strong><em>MY TEACHER WROTE “wasn’t part of the prompt” by religious endeavour. Um, I never said it WAS part of the prompt. I was elaborating on the EFFECTS LADY! back to the crappy essay</em></strong>, and technological revolutionary advances which led to great change in Europe to come.</p>

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<p>Question; What AP class is this? World or Euro? </p>

<p>Second; I agree with your teacher about the religious ideas and the like. (If you could please find the exact prompt)-- when the prompt says to analyze technological and learning advances and how they affected the Age of Exploration. I think your first body paragraph was sufficient, perhaps you could have mentioned Henry the Navigator and his work. </p>

<p>Your second body paragraph, I think, was a stretch. The sentence about the Lutherans/Protestants was really off base. The only place, I can think of, where the Protestants were so highly discriminated was France. The Puritans from England moved to America because they felt the Church of England had not separated enough from the Catholic Church. </p>

<p>The most important thing to know about the Age of Exploration is gold, god, and glory, the three main motivators. </p>

<p>Suggestions:
-review chapters before essays
-spend two-five minutes purling your essay before writing it (it helps A LOT)
-ask your teacher for help (I always ask my teacher after we have essays in class what they would have written about)</p>

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<p>*-spend two-five minutes OUTLINING your essay</p>

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4

<p>thanks! i just got a one today and im really confused but i will take ur advice. thing is we only get 15 min to read the docs. even when i use the entire 45 min to write, i sometimes don’t finish. i also read really slow and process information much more slowly than my class mates who can look at a document and understand it. i have to read it over and over again really slow to get it yeah u get it. anyway, i hope i have time to outline it! thanks again!</p>

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<p>“Exploration and trade were greatly affected by learning and tech. advances.”</p>

<p>You should write out whole words, and not abbreviate in the FRQ. </p>

<p>"The Renaissance had been occurring, religious prosecution and religious power struggle occurring, and revolutionary tech. advances.</p>

<p>Your teacher is right, this is not a complete sentence, it is just a list. You could combine it with the next two sentences to get: " For example, the Renaissance, religious prosecution and religious power struggles, and revolutionary technological advances affected technology and learning, which in turn, greatly influenced trade and exploration for centuries to come." </p>

<p>You should try to memorize some names and dates to beef up your essays. Apush essays are basically fact dumps.</p>

<p>“Overall, trade and exploration were greatly affected by technological and learning advances caused by the Renaissance, religious endeavor, and technological revolutionary advances which led to great change in Europe to come.” </p>

<p>Your conclusion is kind of weak, maybe you should relate it to what it lead to. “Overall, trade and exploration were greatly affected by technological and learning advances caused by the Renaissance, religious endeavor, and technological revolutionary advances. This led to a multitude of opportunities including the beginnings of the American slave trade and colonial expansion.”</p>

<p>And what your teacher wrote by religious endeavor, if the prompt only asked for technological and learning advances, there is no need to mention religion. Always remember to answer the question fully and answer with specifically what it is asking for. </p>