Hi everyone. Less than a month ago, I decided to go to UW Madison with a full tuition + book stipend scholarship. But throughout the month of May, my mind kept wandering back to Oberlin. I am an introvert, and combining that with the fact that all through high school I’ve wanted to get away from my peers, led me to think I have made the wrong decision. I simply feel that I would fit better as a person at Oberlin. I would have to live restricted, to keep my debt under 20k. I would have to live + eat in a co op, have an on campus job, and work through all of my summers. Do you think I should ask Oberlin if they’ll still have me, or do you think I should stick with Madison? Or will Oberlin even take me? In theory, Madison is better for me academically (has the international relations major and the southeast asian studies major) and financially (will graduate with under 5k debt) but something about Oberlin is sticking with me. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
I would stick with Madison even if the $ was a wash and definitely given your scholarship there. In a large school you should be able to find your niche, whether introverts or other groups. Great school. I’d definitely give it a year. You’ll probably love it.
Buyers remorse is common. You will be fine at Madison. If not, you can transfer next year.
I agree with the others. If you were my child I would encourage you to give Madison a chance. Channel your apprehension and make a very strong push during the first couple of weeks to connect with like-minded folk. You may be an “introvert”, but seek out RSOs where you can make friends. At the very least, you’ll be building your resume if you do seek a transfer in the future.
You have told Oberlin that you will not be attending, and they have probably given up “your” place to another student, or have otherwise filled their class. I do not think it would be either proper or successful for you to ask them to re-open a slot for you.
You can call Oberlin. Its environment is unique enough that a student who’d feel drawn to that school and “fit in” there might have more trouble “fitting in” at another school, especially when you consider the LAC/large University difference. Oberlin is well-known for East Asian studies to boot. Considering the sacrifices you describe aren’t that large (you’ll have to work and not go out much, basically), it seems worth it for you to call Oberlin.
If they say no (especially if they gave away your scholarship), look for a Living-Learning Community at Madison. You may enjoy Chadbourne Residential College in particular.
I attended a private college (as a broadcasting major) that was only affordable if I worked full-time in the summer, took out loans, worked while I was in school, and didn’t go out much. That’s not a very enjoyable way to live.
After one semester, I transferred to a public college that I could pay for through work earnings, school grants, and minimal loans. That was a lot more fun. Graduating with very little debt meant that I could afford to take a low paying job at a local TV network to get my foot in the door. Within 2 years I’d repaid all my loans and had a job at a major network making 4x my initial salary. The grads from NYU and other expensive colleges earned the same amount as I did, except they still had loans to repay.
So taking on debt doesn’t just mean restricting your lifestyle while you’re in college, it affects your lifestyle afterward too. If I were you, I’d go to Madison.
I may be a moot point as they may not have any place now. If not, don’t worry about it, you have find many people at UW that could have fit at Madison. What is the peers you are getting away from?Y ou will have anon peers at Madison just the same as at Oberlin. But some people have been able to get the offer back. Are you saying 20k total debt? What is wrong with staying in a coop and are you sure you can get a place?
Classic buyers regret. It’s not as if you got new information that has changed your perception of the relative merit of the schools. You are just nervous. Remind yourself that graduating debt free is the best educational gift you can give yourself. The campus is very big and you’ll not be running into high school peers often if you don’t make the effort. And don’t underestimate the opportunity cost of having to work during summers at jobs that don’t further your professional and personal objectives. With no debt, you will be able to study and travel abroad, take the interesting unpaid internship, and join that road trip or other fun activity that your friends are doing. Lastly, no, Oberlin will not make space for you. Can you imagine what would happen at colleges if they are known to re-admit those who said ‘no’ and then wanted to change their minds a month later? The revolving door would never close.
thanks for the advice everyone! they reconsidered my acceptance, only charge $100 instead of $300 for the matriculation fee, and are currently re-reviewing my financial aid package. they are doing everything and more for me, and i will always be grateful to them, even if i decide to go to madison.
Let us know what happens. I’m astonished that Oberlin is reconsidering your financial aid after you turned them down. Negotiating before you accept/reject an offer of admission is common, but I’ve never heard of a school doing it after a rejections and especially after the deadline for notifying them of your decision.
^ OP must be a very desirable applicant (full tuition + books at UW doesn’t come easily) and an excellent fit for Oberlin. Do let us know what happens. Keeping my fingers crossed! 
@N’s Mom @MYOS1634 I went on a minority fly-in program at Oberlin, which I think contributes a lot to how willing they are to get me. I also feel like I represent the ideal Oberlin student; quirky, smart, socially active, open to diversity. At UW-Madison, I won the Chancellor’s Scholarship, which is for minority and really smart students. That’s the full tuition and book stipend one. I am looking to get a graduate degree, which is also weighing on me. I just don’t know if this debt is really worth it, because I do like Madison, I really do. It’s petty, but I just feel that anyone can get in (I know, I know, not true), and that it will just be an extension of my high school (white, middle class, suburban kids) (also not true, but they do have a larger proportion than Oberlin might have).
Oberlin is very different from uw or any large public university. In many ways, uw is liberal/mainstream, whereas Oberlin has more radical/politically committed students and a counter culture vibe. A student who fits in at Oberlin may have felt a bit of an outsider in a traditional Midwestern hs for instance. Those are broad strokes of course, but they explain why “fit” is so very important.
oberlin is not right for everyone. If it’s right for you and they make it possible for you to attend, then congratulations
BTW, Oberlin is a top producer of PhDs and graduate studies worth anything will be funded, so don’t worry. A good phd program will waive tuition and give you a small stipend that allows you to live in exchange for teaching undergrads.
In the end I decided to stick with Madison. Thanks for all your help guys, I really appreciate it!