Please help me with my essay - Can success be disastrous?

<pre><code>A key component in Greek tragedy is catharsis. The writer creates a problem involving the main character, and the audience feels relief when the cast succeeds to return life to its natural state. The path to catharsis is littered with barriers. In Greek theater, these barriers are conquered and the plot reaches its final destination - resolution. In reality, however, it's not that facile. Accomplishing goals involves overcoming obstacles; oftentimes these obstacles are disastrous.
Galileo Galilei, known as the father of science and physics, wrote many detailed books on his discoveries. His surprisingly accurate views on astronomy and many other fields were contradictory to those of the Catholic Church, and this led to his demise. Galileo continued to create and publish his works, and eventually was sentenced to a life of house arrest. Of course, Galilei greatly contributed to society, but his success led to his conviction under the suspicion of heresy, and a lifetime of loneliness.
While Galilei was not killed for his endeavors, mankind has since sacrificed many human lives to succeed. World War 1 was a grueling, fruitless, unnecessary war which commenced due to complex political tensions but no actual reason. It consisted of three years of disgustingly calamitous trench warfare with incomprehensibly high amounts of casualties. Upon the war's conclusion, the Allied forces had been victorious, but with over ten million deaths and even more casualties. Success was achieved, but fifty million soldiers did not return home. Was it worth it?
Ultimately, humanity aspires infinitely to greater things, but easily loses grasp of the consequences of its sometimes foolhardy actions. A myriad of ways exists to reach one's goals, and perhaps disaster can be avoided with just the right amount of caution.
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<p>My first ever attempt at an SAT essay. I greatly appreciate any thoughts. Thanks!</p>

<p>Please help!</p>