Please Help - Suspension

<p>“OP, I don’t condone what you did, but we were all dumb kids once and hopefully we learn from the experience and don’t become dumb adults.”</p>

<p>Lots of us become dumb adults. ;)</p>

<p>Look - the kid likes weed. He’s going to find plenty of it at Duke. He’ll use it, and he may be summa cum laude. Or maybe not. Duke isn’t particularly going to mind once he gets there (they might actually prefer it to him joining the 12% of Duke students who experience at least one alcohol blackout each year.) He inhales. He got caught with a little bit. The boarding school might have thought he was dealing (I doubt they’d tear apart his room otherwise). He has groveled appropriately. He will grovel a little bit more. The dumb adults will turn him into a hypocrite and a liar by making him “promise that he won’t do it again”, hence compounding the error. OF COURSE he’s going to do it again.</p>

<p>The GC will work to ensure there are no ill effects from the episode. It would make HIM look bad, and the GC also knows that Duke really doesn’t care, so why make an example of a kid with half a gram of weed (that he was looking forward to smokin’ himself)?</p>

<p>Hey - he could have been using his mom’s prescription opiates, or his own - the dentist (a pillar of society) having prescribed a 30-day supply for a two-day toothache.</p>

<p>All right, I have read everyone’s posts. I completely understand all of the comments made. I want to thank everyone for his or her input, no matter what the bias. I started this thread on Monday two hours after it happened. I was very distressed and did not know what to do. I turned to the CC community for input. CC has a great, knowledgeable community and I hoped they could share their wisdom. I wanted to know if I had even the slightest chance of redemption. My post was not wholly truthful. I may have been in denial, but I probably did not want to look like even more of an ass. That worked out well, huh. Lying did not help me then in any way and it surely won’t now. Yes, I did smoke it. Yes, I would have finished it had this not happened. Scorn me all you’d like, but I hate myself more than any of you can ever. </p>

<p>It’s been two days since this happened and I’ve had a lot of time to think everything through. I’ve become very placid and detached, but I’m sure I’ll get over it.</p>

<p>Yes, I deserve whatever consequence I am given. I really messed up and I am willing to take full responsibility for it. It’s no one else’s fault but mine. I took everything for granted and broke the trust of Duke, my school, and my parents and the next years of my life are now questionable. If this does not work out, then it’s a hard lesson for me and so be it. If it does, I’m never smoking again. You guys can all laugh at me however much you’d like, but this changed me. Weed is not worth it. Why bother? I don’t want to take that risk ever again. I don’t want to do that to my parents again. What good is a three-hour mind alteration if years of my life can be screwed over and people that I love can be hurt? If this works out, I’ll go live in the Wellness Dorm and live a happier, healthier life. What’s done is done and lamenting about it will do nothing now. I sent in an essay to my regional admissions officer, and I’ll be meeting with her and the dean of undergrad admissions. I appreciate everyone’s input. Forgive me if I offended or irritated anyone.</p>

<p>best of luck to you.</p>

<p>“Scorn me all you’d like, but I hate myself more than any of you can ever.”</p>

<p>Don’t hate yourself; life’s too short. You didn’t do anything that millions of kids (and we grown-up kids on CC) didn’t do before you - you just happened to get caught. Yes, it is highly problematic to do things which are illegal for you (like drinking a beer before you are 21), or smoking weed before it is legalized (your crime is being born too soon), and I suggest you not do so because it’s too much of a hassle, and you might lose that one particularly important brain cell. But you won’t be a worse person if you do; just one who makes an occasional questionable choice. </p>

<p>I’m 62 years old. I can guarantee you that it won’t be your last. Learn from it. (And, please! don’t make promises you can’t keep; now that DOES hurt your self-esteem, or make you morally indifferent.)</p>

<p>Please let us know how it works out for you. I think you will be OK with Duke.</p>

<p>meet with your GC and tell him or her exactly what you told us.</p>

<p>If he or she does not seem to want to help? Then let the chips fall and live with it.</p>

<p>I would apply to another school just to have a safety school in hand.</p>

<p>Good luck to you. I believe that you will be a better person for this experience. Whether you smoke pot again or not. That is up to you. I suggest you listen to yourself and stay clear.</p>

<p>Good luck with everything.</p>

<p>I think it’s all going to work out okay for you, and I join the others in wishing you well. I too think you will come out stronger for this experience. Good luck in your meetings.</p>

<p>Good Luck. Glad you looked yourself in the mirror and realized what you have put on the line. Lots of us have done really stupid stuff growing up but sometimes the close calls are what opens our eyes.</p>

<p>I think your eyes are now open. Good Luck and my fingers are crossed for you. Let us know what happens.</p>

<p>My friend’s son was punished at his BS for plagiarism 4 weeks before graduation. His GC was obliged to report it to his college. A very contrite letter was written, with a full explanation of the extent of the plagiarism (apparently a sentence or two). His offer was not rescinded. Mind you, it was not Duke. But I think most colleges know that adolescents’ brains are not yet fully functioning, no matter how smart they are. I’m sure it will turn out ok.</p>