I’m a straight A student with a 35 ACT and really good relations with everyone in my school but I was an idiot and I, out of impulse, had inappropriate sexual conduct in the restroom and was caught and now I’m going to go to a correctional school in my district for 30 days before re-entering my school. Is it even possible for me to apply to college? Is there anyone who will even give me a chance with my mistake?
Was this consensual contact? How will the disciplinary actions be documented by your guidance office?
Unfortunately for you, sexual assault is a hot topic on college campuses right now, and certainly on the forefront of administrators’ minds. Brock Turner was an absolute mess for Stanford to deal with.
I’m not super familiar with the policies for this, but is the school obligated to report this? Are you being prosecuted in any way for this or think that prosecution might be imminent in the future? Depending on the incident, if convicted, you may have to register as a sex offender. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case, though… I think you would know if that were incoming.
I’m going to be completely honest with you: Even if you have no sexual assault accusations and/or no mention of consensual but inappropriate sexual contact on school grounds in your record, the 30 day correctional school thing looks pretty bad.
If I had to guess, I would say a state school with a high acceptance rate may accept you… an auto-admit type school. I would talk to your councilor/registrar about it as soon as you get back to school.
You’ll have to be more precise even though you don’t want to (I understand)because different schools have wildly different policies. There are lots of possibilities, some of which would bar you from college, others would warrant a review, and some would warrant a mention in your file but wouldn’t bar you from college.
Since you got sentenced to a juvenile facility, we’re all guessing the worst, BTW. So…
We’re you caught walking into the girls ’ bathroom?
Did you touch yourself in front of someone?
Touch a girl’s breast over her clothes as she was passing by?
Tried to kiss someone against their will?
All of these things would result in problems. Some would be considered offensive and may result in a suspension at some school and legal action at others.
The last one would be considered assault.
What state do you live in (some stated require any sex-related offense to be disclosed, such as NYS.)
Was it a consensual act? With someone your age? Under age?
Was it your first offense caught or did you already have complaints against you?
It was completely consensual, it was mainly breast fondling, and she was the same age. This is the first time I’ve gotten in trouble for anything and I’m in Texas. We still have to talk to the district to see how much will be disclosed.
Thirty days out of district just for that? That seems draconian. Either your district is ridiculous, or you aren’t telling us everything. I think your parents need an educational attorney, sorry to say. That’s a very severe penalty, IMO, and there is no way it isn’t going to appear on your college apps. I wonder if @Hanna can offer insight as to how to proceed?
@Lindagaf
From what OP said it is IN district school for kids with behavioral issues.
You need to speak with your guidance counselor about the ramifications. Will the reason for the discipline be reported on your transcript or just the fact that you were disciplined? Also, if this was heterosexual sexual contact then one of you was in the inappropriate bathroom which probably raises a whole other issue for discipline.
It’s homosexual conduct so it’s mainly inappropriate sexual conduct (consensual). I have to ask for the details - they said they’ll be contacting us sometime this week. The 30 days is in an alternate school within the district where I’ll keep the same classes and everything, but the school is wired towards people who’ve had behavorial misconduct - there’s more scrutiny, etc.
Does anyone know how this affects automatic admissions into colleges?
Wow, that is an incredibly harsh punishment for that, particularly if this is the first time you’ve been in any trouble. Is there any type of appeal process? I’d scour the student handbook about this.
Wait are you saying that the issue is because it was a homosexual act that the penalty was severe or even if it was heterosexual, the penalty would have been the same? Because that’s a whole different thing, and as someone said above your family may want to get a lawyer or advocate. You need to find out more if you’re being punished for indecent exposure, bad judgement or sexual orientation (or exploring it).
I was thinking out of school rather than out of district. This penalty is too harsh. You need to have your parents look at the school code and see what exactly you violated. If you were my kid, I would be getting a lawyer. Do not attend any meetings with anyone at the school without your parents present. Sexual conduct on school property probably is against most school codes, but this is totally over the top. Unless you are keeping details back that are more serious. It seems to me, on the surface, that this is about punishing you for homosexual behavior. What happened to the other kid?
P.S. Consider calling the ACLU too.
Talk to your guidance counselor…but I would think that Colleges would care about what kind of student you would be…if it was violent or non-consensual, then that is not the kind of student they would want. But consensual and same age? I would not think that would be a big deal. Talk to your GC about what they will include on your transcript/recommendation letter.
Ask your parents to consult a lawyer, seriously.
Have your parents or a lawyer contact the superintendent and ask what the policy is for public displays of affection. If heterosexual couples receive less of a punishment then this is unacceptable. What about your girl friend? Was she also punished to this extent?
To answer your original question. If this is reported on your transcript or your guidance counselor explains it was for inappropriate but consensual public display of affection it should not be cause for rejections from colleges.
@AzureKsoru, a couple of questions / thoughts:
- Was the other girl involved subjected to the same punishment? As you describe it, this was consensual contact, and since it was same sex there was no bathroom violation. I presume you were both punished equally - and I agree way too harshly - but if the incident was consensual and the parties involved were not treated equally, it would be suggestive of discriminatory conduct.
- Have there been any other incidents at your school in the past, and how have they been handled? It would help to know if your school has been consistent; a difference in treatment would suggest a possible bias. I doubt you are the first student to ever get a bit over-enthusiastic on school property.
- You can't legally be punished for your gender preference; that would be discrimination. You can't legally be punished for fondling another teenager - consensual contact between minors, where same sex or opposite sex, is normal. The only issues is whether your level of expression violated a school conduct policy, and whether the punishment is appropriate, consistent with past practices, and non-discriminatory.
- I agree with getting your Parents involved, and possibly an attorney. It sounds like the school is being heavy-handed at the least, and possibly more.
- I would 't freak out about colleges yet. This is something that can be explained away, and based on your story, there is nothing in your behavior that would be a major red flag. It might even be a good personal essay, though right now the priority is to address the add situation with the school.
Are you out to your parents or would their learning the reason cause a problem (ie., “conversion therapy”, being kicked out of home, “spiritual counselling”…)?
If it won’t cause a problem, your parents should be involved.
Okay so to answer the questions now that my counselor emailed me:
No, this won’t be told to colleges unless they ask for a letter of recommendation from a counselor. So it could be a lot worse.
We’ve had this only once for a heterosexual couple two years ago (we opened 3 years ago as a school) and the students have graduated already so I don’t know who they are or how to contact them
My parents are requireing me to do religious activities but they’re not “conversion therapy” or focused on sexuality, just religious rites to do when one has made a mistake. I’m a Hindu so homosexuality isn’t the biggest issue, it was the lack of impulse control.
My girlfriend got the same punishment though her parents are taking it a lot worse. She’s in Vancouver and I haven’t spoke to her for a week now.
I don’t know if we can or should hire a lawyer. Like, really, I’m on thin ice with my family already.
High school counselors supply a LOR for all students. So I would ask point blank if they are going to say anything about it.
Unless you are okay with what is happening, call the ACLU if you are worried. Having said that, if your school is private or chartered maybe the same rules don’t apply. It’s hard to kno without knwoing your state.
As for your parents, well, their house, their rules. But if this is going to jeopardize your college chances, they might be more concerned about that. Your call if you want to go that route.
@AzureKsoru If I were your parent I would hire an attorney immediately and not allow any contact with you without the attorney present. I would also have the attorney contact the ACLU as suggested earlier. If your parents cannot afford an attorney then you or they should contact the ACLU to see if there are any advocacy services they can provide or direct you to. The punishment is clearly over the top and perhaps blatantly discriminatory and illegal if the same punishment is not given for similar behaviors from individuals of the opposite sex.