Please mark and score my essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Topic:</p>

<p>To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not to change is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no choice but to change. People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All of our motivation comes from within. </p>

<p>Adapted from Ward Sybouts, Planning in School Administration: A Handbook</p>

<p>Question:</p>

<p>What motivates people to change? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience , or observations.</p>

<p>Essay: </p>

<p>People decide to change their unhealthy behaviors and attitudes, career or surrounding when they have arrived at the realization of their unhappiness due to those reasons. Although people are sovereign over their choice to change, often times, the change is inspired by self-driven introspection and reflection, and external influences. </p>

<p>Psychologists have theorized that addicts, in general, are usually incapable of changing their behavior unless encouraged and intervened by friends and family members. In such situations, the change was inspired by external influences; however, the act of the change is ultimately self-driven. The addict is responsible for the conscious choice of performing the change, and is capable of doing so by reinforcing the external motivation via reflection on his life and behavior. Henceforth, while change ultimately comes from within, it is usually inspired by external influences.</p>

<p>If an investment company is on the brink of bankruptcy, the employees are sovereign over their choice of whether to leave the company immediately, and find another job. However, this change, while ultimately decided by the employee's own reflection, was initiated and thus motivated from the outside.</p>

<h2>The decision to change is contributed by the external world and a person's determination. It is usually the unfavorable situation which motivates us to change, but the final factor which performs the change comes from within ourselves.</h2>

<p>Thank you!</p>

2

<p>Dang, typing my essay out here makes me realize that it’s short. lol. I don’t know what else to say, though.</p>

3

<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.</p>

<p>Technology promises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. But the rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processing capabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop have made all of us feel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machines that were supposed to simplify our lives, with the result that, whether at work or play, people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better. </p>

<p>Adapted from Karen Finucan, “Life in the Fast Lane”</p>

<p>Assignment: </p>

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>With the aid of brilliant scientific minds, technology has been increasing at a rapid pace. Technological inventions, in general, permit us to live a convenient life; however, depending on the situation, this advantage can be gained at an expense. </p>

<p>Although computers and the Internet have helped us gain information more easily, it indirectly causes people to have less social interactions with each other. Given the readily available wide resources in the virtual world, we do not have to make trips to the library in order to satisfy our questions; therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that technology makes our lives easier. However, because information in the virtual world is accessible at any moment, it can cause a decrease in social interaction. For example, if I am looking for an exotic vacation location, rather than satisfying my quest by asking my friends and family through spoken verbal communication, I would look up the Internet for an answer, since the information is readily available. This decrease in social interaction du to technology hoes not make our lives better since people would be less includes to have conversations, and exchange their ideas and perspectives with each other.</p>

<p>Nonetheless, there are instances in which technology makes are lives easier and better, at no expense. With the invention of satellites, radio and television, news can be accurately broadcasted via those mediums rather than rumored and twisted, as the news is passed from mouth to mouth. This makes our lives better as it eliminates the possibility of fabrication of the fact, which poses the danger of conflicts. In addition, it makes our lives easier because we can be informed of the important crises and updates on the weather more quickly. Therefore, in some instances such as this, technology does make our lives easier and better. </p>

<h2>Although it is indisputable that technology makes our lives easier, the idea that technology makes our lives better cannot be concluded in general due to the vast number of scenarios which echoes contrasting verdicts. Henceforth, depending on the situation and its context, the ease which technology brings to our lives does not always necessitate the betterment of our lives.</h2>

<p>I’ve a question.</p>

<p>The instruction:</p>

<p>You have twenty-five minutes to write an essay on the topic assigned below. DO NOT WRITE ON ANOTHER TOPIC. AN OFF-TOPIC ESSAY WILL RECEIVE A SCORE OF ZERO. </p>

<p>So in this assignment, are they saying that the change which you talk about has to be related to technology? In addition to that, are they also saying that I have to talk about how technology has “made all of us feel rushed”? My essay is about technology, but I didn’t say anything about feeling rushed. Is it okay? … And is it even okay not to talk about technology? Would it be considered off topic? Thanks!</p>

4

<p>I would give your first essay an 8. The main detractor is that it lacks depth; you could really elaborate or explain the processes by which individuals go through in investment companies/drugs. Perhaps set the scene more (“Drug addicts across america deal with the risk of __<strong><em>/Investment company employees often have to deal with the risk of </em></strong>”) etc.</p>