PLEASE!!!!!! Mark my SAT essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>I would really appreciate if someone would mark my SAT essay, as I have only recently gotten serious with the SAT's, but need to give them in October. Some helpful advice on how to improve would be well appreciated, as well.</p>

<p>ESSAY:</p>

<p>Topic: "Success is somebody else's failure"</p>

<p>What is success? Success can be an achievement that is self satisfying, or, maybe, it is the act of defeating your opponent, and becoming the victor that can be called success. The latter would suggest that to win, someone else must lose, whereas the first meaning enables success without a double edge, a win-win for everybody. By presenting success as the product of a self-set goal, it becomes possible to have a situation where one succeeds at no one’s cost.</p>

<p>Being a well managed person, at the beginning of my day, I make a to-do list. As I pick up the milk, attend classes and make it in time to catch the football game, I tick of these accomplishments from my list. My miscellanies of achievements are all my own little successes. I had done all that I had set myself to do, and have hence succeeded. No one is going to lose because I bought a gallon of milk. I have become a successful person, without someone else failing. By setting my own goals, in my eyes, I have succeeded without any tradeoff.</p>

<p>Taking a slightly more rounded approach, a real world example can be utilized. Many people around the world get involved in the stock market. By purchasing shares, if the company concerned increases its net value or revenue, all shareholders have an increase in wealth, too. So, the company is of course benefitting from the profit, with the shareholders benefitting as well.</p>

<p>After reviewing my simple to-do list example, along with an example of larger proportions, it can be seen that success of one does not riddle others with failure. Rather, from the example of the stock market, one can succeed, while helping others succeed, too. Success in the eye of the beholder is what matters, as this makes sure that one succeeds at no one’s failure.</p>

<p>END OF ESSAY</p>

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<p>I’d say a 10/12, but there’s no guaranteeing both readers will give you a 5. So possibly a 9. “Taking a slightly more rounded approach, a real world example can be utilized.” Keep filler like this out please</p>

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<p>@Mikethechimp
Thanks for the score, and advice. I meant that sentence for transitional purposes, but, i guess it seemed less like that.
Any other advice?</p>

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<p>Oh, and hello to everyone , I’m new here :).
So, is it possible for me to improve? And more help please!</p>

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<p>Essay Prompt
A colleague of the great scientist James Watson remarked that Watson was always “lounging around, arguing about problems instead of doing experiments.” He concluded that “There is more than one way of doing good science.” It was Watson’s form of idleness, the scientist went on to say, that allowed him to solve “the greatest of all biological problems: the discovery of the structure of DNA.” It is a point worth remembering in a society overly concerned with efficiency.</p>

<p>Adapted from John C. Polanyi, “Understanding Discovery”</p>

<p>Assignment
Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Your Response
The " Laissez faire " leadership style has been used throughout the world centuries ago and has survived and is until now, still in use today. It is evident that the survival of this leadership style, which allows people to do as they wish as long as they have completed the task before the dead line does work in our society.This was illustrated countless number of times such as when the great scientist James Watson managed to discover the structure of DNA by simply doing as he wished. I believe that our educational system in today’s society doesn’t allow the creativity of the students in the system to be exploited and used. Our system instead teaches students to not be creative and to simply memorize things by heart. A famous quote says " You are only intelligent because you agree with what every one else says , now if you contradict what every one says then every one says you are dumb, even though you could be correct ." I have an example for that. I myself have experienced this and truly believe that I do accomplish better things when I am allowed to do it in my own way. For example, my math teacher as teaching our class how to solve quadratic equations using a method. I myself didn’t really like his method as it involved using a plethora of numbers and complicated equations. I decided to research his method on the internet to understand it better but I stumbled upon a website that suggested that my teacher’s method was a very complicated method and that there was a much simpler method of solving the equation. I followed the website’s way of solving the equation and found it much easier than my teacher’s method. I discussed it with my teacher and asked him why he did not introduce the method I saw on the internet. He told me that he himself did not personally like that method and preferred his method , but he admitted that the method I saw on the internet was perfectly correct. Due to the fact that I knew how to use that new method I could now actually solve the equations and give the correct answer. Even though every one else in my class used my teacher’s method only 75% understood it and could use it to find the answer. The other 25% were clueless on how to solve the equations. Except me, because I researched it and solved it in another way. You might be thinking to yourself that writing about how to solve an equation is not very clever but that was not the main point. The main point was that , there is not a single way to do something and that some people prefer one way of doing something whilst other people prefer an other way.At the end of the day, it should be the person who is doing the task that should choose which way suites him best ,as the person will have to use it in his/her work so it is best if the person feels comfortable and sure with his/her method.</p>

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Can someone rate my essay as well please?

The question is:

Motivation will always beat mere talent

When the going gets hard how easy is it to give up? The answer is to easy. It is our self motivation and persistence that enables us to conquer and reach our full potential. Talent alone can only get us so far and it is up to ourself to push past that barrier and achieve greater things.

Motivation is the energy to get from point A to point B, and talent is knowing the route. Gymnastics was always something I was passionate about. Training caused me to devote my childhood to the sport, and it was pure motivation that allowed me to grow up and become Ohio State Champion and later on Brisitsh Vault Champion. I would say I had a natural talent in the sport, however motivation allowed me to overcome my FEARs (False Evidence Against Reality) and become the champion I dreamed of being since 1 was four.

Maslow also was a man who believed that motivation can get us further in life. He believed that one thrives towards reaching self actualization in one’s lifetime. Our whole purpose is to push past the barriers and become the absolute best we can be. Therefore Maslow devised a Hierachy suggesting that in order to reach ones full potential they must be successful in each stage of the pyramid.

Like Maslow many people are motivated to be the best person of themselves. It may not be easy. There is aways going to be an uphill battle, but once you get there: The view is great.