<p>I'm new around here (just ended ninth grade), and I have only taken the SAT once (in 8th and it didn't count), receiving 9/12 in the writing section. I'm practicing for the PSAT and SAT, but the problem is I'm partial to myself. I'm wondering whether if anyone would give me advice on my essay and set me on the right track.</p>
<p>Prompt:</p>
<p>Success is somebody else's failure. - Ursula K. Le Guin</p>
<p>The statement above argues that success and failure trade off, that there can be no win-win situation. Write an essay supporting, disputing, or qualifying the statement. You may use examples from history, literature, popular culture, current events, or personal experience to support your position.</p>
<p>Extra Info:
-I wrote this in exactly 25 mins, following PR's writing plan
-I wrote this on two SAT practice test sheets (the amount of space they provide on the test)</p>
<p>Essay:
"Success is somebody else's failure," stated Ursula K. Le Guin. What Le Guin had in mind was that there was no such thing as a Win-Win situation. Le Guin believed that the world was always competing (Win-Lose), or that it would end up in a downward spiral (Lose-Lose). However, this is not the case. One can find examples of Win-Win situations throughout the world.
One rather simple example of Win-Win is a symbiotic life style. The interactions of humans and plants are a great example. Humans exhale carbon dioxide, which is necessary to plants. At the same time, plants give off oxygen which we need to live. In addition, humans farm and take care of plants. Similarly, the plants take care of use by providing us with a source of food. There is a fair trade-off of resources, and both sides benefit.</p>
<p>Sean Covey's bestseller novel, The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective Teens, also illustrates the benefits and instances of a Win-Win situation. Covey Presented an anecdote about a star basketball player who used to lead her team to victory every match, as she was a very good ball handler. She often kept the ball to herself so that she could take a shot when she had the opportunity. Even though the team won many victories against other schools, the other players were unhappy, because they never had an opportunity to handle the ball. The other players stopped passing the ball player to the star player; consequently, the team began to lose matches The star player realized her mistake and began to pass to the other players instead of proceeding to score. As a result, she earned the respect of her teammates. United as a team, the basketball players won many more games. This is a sheer Win-Win situation. All the players had an opportunity to handle the ball, take part in the team, and achieve the victories they attained.</p>
<p>I have also personally experienced the development of Win-Win agreements while interacting with my younger brother. We recently were gifted two golden retriever puppies. As the puppies' muscles were developing, it was important for them to vigorously exercise. This translated to a new task of taking the puppies out for a walk. I adored the puppies and wanted to spend much time with them. Unfortunately, my younger brother expressed them same feelings. We soon began to heatedly fight and quarrel over the task. Our parents suggested the formation of a Win-Win situation between us; we decided to walk the dogs together. This was a Win-Win instance, because it gave my brother and I a chance to converse in our busy schedule. More importantly, we were both able to experience the prospect of appreciating our pets.</p>
<p>While the world is a competitive place, with numerous instances on Win-Lose situations, and the occasional low of a Lose-Lose, one must still remember that success isn't always someone else's failure. Relationships, teamwork, creativity, and Mother Nature will always prove that success one one can potentially be another's gain. </p>
<p>Specific Questions I have:
-> What's my score?
-> Am I lacking in vocabulary?
-> Would you suggest any alternate paragraph structure?
(I am using Barron's SAT Prep)
-> Where else can I improve?</p>
<p>Thanks, in advance.</p>