<p>I’d really appreciate it if people would score my SAT practice essay (2-12) and give me some feedback on it (i.e., what to improve on). Any tips about writing faster would be greatly appreciated too. Thanks!!</p>
<p>Prompt:
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following quotations and the assignment below.</p>
<li>Honesty is an important value in every relationship. Whether interacting with a friend, a roomate, a spuse, a parent, or another loved one, individuals expect others to be honest and feel betrayed when they are deceived.
Adapted from Jennifer Gesheindler, et al., “Deception of Parents during Adolescence”</li>
<li>Deception can actually make it easier for people to get along. In a recent study, for example, one out of every four of the lies told by participants was told solely for the benefit of another person. In fact, most lies are harmless social untruths in which people pretend to like someone or something more than they actually do (“Your muffins are the best!”).
Adapted from Allison Kornet, “The Truth About Lying”</li>
</ol>
<p>Assignment: Is deception ever justified? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>What I wrote:</p>
<p>While all forms of religious texts are opposed to lying, the followers of these religions would admit that they have all decieved another at some point in their lives. Is this conscious telling of an untruth justified? If it were, there would not be the myriad works of literature that show how even one simple lie can snowball into something that consumes both the liar and the victims of the lie. Deceiption is never justified for it always has the potential to cause harm.</p>
<p>The effet on a simple lie can be seen in Arthur Miller’s play, The Crucible. A group of teenage and preteen girls were caught dancing in the woods and practicing witchcraft, a “hanging error” in the pious Puritan community. The girls, whose very lives were in danger, spouted a small deception to save their own lives – they had been forced by real adult witches in the community to do so. THis lie was believedby the religious authorities of the down dominated by theocracy, and days later, death bells began tolling. When they stopped, the prisons were crowded with “confessed” witches who saved themselves by admitting to a lie.</p>
<p>That year in Salem, Massachusetts, twenty-five citizens were hanged for witchcraft. They were the innocent ones, the ones who had not lied by saying that they were practiced witches. They lost their lives for their honesty. Indeed, the lies of a terrified group of twelve girls resulted in murder.</p>
<p>Lying to save one’s life is not uncommon for desperation drives people to irrational acts. However, as The Crucible, a play based on a true story, proves, it is possible to walk a straight path, even when one is threatened with the ultimate horror – death. The men and women who died in 1692 died for their honesty, for their refusal to lie. They are the ones admired in the story for their stand against deception. They knew that if they too lied, more would be hanged. The witchcraft hysteria would never end.</p>
<p>Although this is an extreme example, nobody can deny the facts that all lies can cause great harm. If you choke down a soup and compliments the chef, he may decide to make a business out of it and invest all of his assets into it. Would you want to be the cause of his bankruptcy claim? This situation may seem unlikely, but don’t take the chance. Deception is nevery justified when it may hurt someone, and it always can.</p>