Please Rate My Essay

<p>Assignment: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<p>Response:</p>

<p>In a modern, civilized world, knowledge is one of the most fundamental element needed for humans. No matter where we go, we need knowledge even to communicate with people. With this, I would like to state that knowledge is not a burden, but it is a benefit.</p>

<p>First, what would happen if the world turned into a disaster? We all know that one day, the Earth will be so congested with pollution and fatal natural disaster. Surely we will have to find another home to stay. NASA is currently working on a project to send the pioneer batch of humans to Mars on 2021, under a project called "Mars One". They need to send geologists and astronauts out into the space to make sure that this project will become feasible. Those experts need knowledge to go and research on Mars.</p>

<p>When I was in tenth grade, I was one of the Girl Guides and we went onto the jungle for a trip. On the second day, I got lost in the jungle full of reptiles and dangerous insects. I used my skills as a girl guide to find my way back out of the jungle before sunset. If I did not have the skills to read a compass, I would have been stuck there forever.</p>

<p>Computers play a huge role in everybody's life. I read an article saying that by 2035, we will invent a computer which will be smarter than an average human. However, by that time, somewhere in the world, there might be one kid who can outsmart the computer. This is because humans are evolving and as our surroundings change, we will change with them.</p>

<p>In conclusion there is no limit in how much knowledge one can possess because knowledge will never be a burden to humankind.</p>

<p>I didn’t event read the first word. This essay is 2/6 meaning 4/12 if your lucky. Sure, you have so-so content, which is developed to a certain, but limited, extent. However, your essay is too short. </p>

<p>Please don’t use “you, I, me, we” …etc. in an objective essay.</p>

<p>In addition, your development and linking is not very good. I don’t mean you crush your confidence, but you need to work on it. </p>

<p>Start by WRITING more.</p>

<p>YOU have potential though.</p>

<p>Thanks. Can you give me tips on how to write longer essays? Some books say that the usage of personal pronouns are permitted, especially if we are giving an example based on personal experience.</p>