Okay so the topic is: Describe a circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, and the skills and resources you used to resolve it. Did it change you? If so, how?
Here is my essay:
Losing someone is one of the hardest moments a person faces in life. Losing someone emotionally but not physically is argued to be more difficult. At least with the person physically absent, I didn't have to wonder about the what ifs of life or where I took a wrong turn in the relationship. The emotional and mental whirlwind left me unable to function like a normal human being. It was like always needing to be on life support just to make it on a day to day basis. Losing my mom junior year was the single most crushing moment life had ever challenged me with.
During the summer of my junior year, my mom was offered a military job that provide a better life for my sister and I. Living paycheck to paycheck with barely any leeway, she readily accepted the opportunity at a better future for all of us. However, accepting the job meant packing up the life we’d established and moving four hours away from everything and everyone we'd known. Additionally that meant I would also be leaving behind many of my passions and hobbies with the move. The first few months of moving were a terrifying exhilaration. I had managed to find my niche within the school; I had even managed to make a few friends. Yet, I kept reminiscing on life back home. I longed for my friends. I yearned to be part of band, track and the multitude of clubs I was in. That's also around the time my mom started to change. At first it was subtle, like getting annoyed at simple questions and habits that normally wouldn't bother her. Things quickly went downhill once her boyfriend started staying with us. She stayed out late, dumped most responsibilities, forgot what it meant to be a parent. From safe haven to war zone, my house was the last place I wanted to be. I threw myself into school, got a new job. Anything just to stay away for a couple of hours. The thought of going home after school made my stomach churn. The screaming matches and lack of contact for days started taking its toll. I grew more introverted with each passing day and began missing out on normal high school things to sit in my room to escape the reality that was becoming my world. I developed depression and started having anxiety attacks. I had to quit my job—the one thing that kept me sane—since I could no longer balance it with school and my dwindling home life.
Growing up my mom was my rock when I needed an emotional stronghold. My provider when I need sustenance to keep going. My shelter when I needed peace. Being a single parent in the military, she taught to continuously be compassionate and hardworking even when life threw roadblocks in the path. I never had to worry about needing anything or going without since she always did her best to give us a quality life. After the move I was shoved into limbo and mother’s world revolved solely around her “precious” boyfriend. A seed of resentment was planted deep within me and its ugly roots began to grow.
As a teenager, you begin to really see life and the unfairness of it. I started to learn more about myself and what I could handle. My outlook grew jaded and misconstrued. I became hardened like a cold pearl. Lost in the abyss of misery and hatred, I distanced myself from my friends and family for fear of being left again. I lost my faith and grew angry with God. Why did I have to go through this? Wasn't I good person? Good people didn't deserve the misery I went through. I could no longer be a ditzy teenager who was oblivious of the struggles and pains of our existence. I was thrust into adulthood in more ways than one. Of course, I was still loved and cared for by mother, but no, she was no longer fully there as she used to be. Physically present, but emotionally disconnected.
I learned to stop needing other people and just rely on myself. After a couple of months I picked up yoga. Through the practice, I was able to fully feel again; the chips broke bit by bit off my shoulder. Stepping onto my mat made all the chaos and turmoil melt away, it was like a moment of clarity. I felt safe and at peace with myself. I didn't have to worry about anything; I was whole. I joined clubs in my school, started venturing back out with my friends, found a youth group that encouraged me. I was in a state of serene happiness.
While my relationship with my mother is still hanging by a thread, I no longer feel anger or sorrow at the situation. The roots of resentment that were once buried deep inside, are now burned away. Coming out on the other side, I'm now a stronger person. It changed me to be more loving and patient with my family. The situation revealed to me how to act and handle situations out of my control. Life isn't fair and it never will be, but that's okay. I know I can handle any roadblock that may fall in my path.
Any tips on how to revise areas that need improvement would be amazing! Thanks!!