please score my essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>prompt
"Many people believe that our government should do more to solve our problems. After all, how can one individual create more jobs or make roads safer or improve the schools or help to provide any of the other benefits that we have come to enjoy? And yet expecting that the government-rather than the individuals-should always come up with the solutions to society's ills may have made us less self-reliant, undermining our independence and self sufficiency."
Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?</p>

<pre><code>People of today have become too unmindful of their own role as a a participant in society. The individual's sense of being a constituent of the society they live in and a sense of the responsibility that accompanies that has become surfeited. The source of their misconception is the idea that because entirety is so big, the individual plays no part in the overall. This misconception seems to be pandemic in modern days, and is noctuous to society and will lead to social decadence
The obvious reason that forgetting the individual's responsibility in society is that if every one were to act without regard to social responsibility, then society would not function. This is the same for those who think their vote wont make a difference. This attitude itself is subversive and must be condemned. As Kant established as his categorical imperative " we must act only in a way that can be wished a universal maxim". We must hold a strong sense as administrators of maxims as citizens of a society.
The disastrous aggregate of the individuals indifference towards social problems, specially ecological problems has been expressed frequently in recent fiction. the wasteland of wall-e, mad max are all a consequence of the individuals indifference.
Our indifference to social problems is severely detrimental. We must retain a sense that we are important individuals that constitute society. And like the individual constituents of a machine we must accomplish our responsibilities for society to function.
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2

<p>3/6.</p>

<p>Many grammar and spelling errors.
Very short.
Bad word choice, sentence structure, and the overall message is distorted because of this.</p>

<p>I’m not sure if you’re not a native speaker, but it just doesn’t “sound” right when you read it. I’m being objective here, and I’m a pretty lenient grader, but it’s bad.</p>

<p>I won’t ramble on about the negatives, but here’s some tips to improve…

  • Create an introduction which takes a position on the prompt(agree/disagree)
  • Next, 2-3 body paragraphs with a clear and concise connection to the main topic(1 for each example)
  • A conclusion that restates your point of view along with the examples.</p>

<p>Other

  • Don’t forget to indent each paragraph
  • Start and finish strong
  • You use a good vocabulary, keep it up, but don’t force words into the essay that shouldn’t be used. It just makes it harder to comprehend the overall idea and “gist” of the essay.</p>

<p>I’m not an SAT grader, but it would be a 2 or 3 out of 6 in my eyes.</p>