Please score my essay!

<p>Hi everyone, grading and critique will be much appreciated. </p>

<p>Prompt:
There is, of course, no legitimate branch of science that enables us to predict the future accurately. Yet the degree of change in the world is so overwhelming and so promising that the future, I believe, is far brighter than anyone has contemplated sinced the end of the Second World War. </p>

<p>Is the world changing for the better?</p>

<p>ESSAY:</p>

<p>Our future is bright. Although every age has its problems-and the future is no exception-no one can deny a deserved atmosphere of optimism we now have about what lies beyond. We can show this through statistics,</p>

<p>Global literacy is on the rise, marking the significant intellectual development that will most likely continue. Just China's literacy has risen in the last five years from 80% to an astounding 96%; other rural regions have seen a similar rise. This also brings us to the point that illiteracy has not been completely obliterated yet. We will still need to do significant work, but the trend of progress should definetly be applauded. Scientific advances are made at a rapid rate. According to TIME magazine, getting cancer is no longer the nightmare it used to be, people can go on with life. In the future, getting cancer will be like getting the cold, it is no big deal, so that people can focus on living life instead of just living.</p>

<p>Intellectual development will make the future a better place, but so will new technology. When I was younger, my familyh only had a TV, but now we have 3 computers, a plasma TV, a cell phone, and various other electronic knicknacks. Electronics have allowed us to develop in ways unthought of before. We can now communicate instantly with someone on the other side of the world, find information, and easily turn in a nealty typed research that is fully legible to the English teacher. THe best thing about technology though is that it has endless possibilities; we are limited only by our imaginations. Who knows what we will come up with next?</p>

<p>When Martin Luther King Jr. made his "I have a dream speech" he probably felt doubtful about when racial equality could be reached. He had a dream, but not much hope. Now, we have a dream for the future and according to our developmental trends in intellligence and technology, we also have hope for a bright future.</p>

<p>"When Martin Luther King Jr. made his "I have a dream speech" he probably felt doubtful about when racial equality could be reached. He had a dream, but not much hope."</p>

<h2>Are you sure about this? You can't just assume that without any evidence or analysis.</h2>

<p>"Just China's literacy has risen in the last five years from 80% to an astounding 96%"</p>

<h2>I don't think you should use JUST China. This assumes that China usually had a slow growth which I don't know much about but.. I don't think thats what you want to say..</h2>

<p>"According to TIME magazine, getting cancer is no longer the nightmare it used to be, people can go on with life. In the future, getting cancer will be like getting the cold, it is no big deal, so that people can focus on living life instead of just living."</p>

<h2>Getting cancer IS no longer [..] and then you say IN THE FUTURE.</h2>

<p>also.. knickknack is used in the wrong context...</p>

<hr>

<p>-agrees with 8sparks-</p>

<p>less tell more show.</p>

<p>thanks everyone for the comments, I'll try to improve on it. Can anyone give me a rough score? (1-6)</p>

<p>If you really needed to score, I would give the essay 8 but try not to rely on my scores because I didn't even look at the rubric. I think you can grade your own accurately if you use the rubric and honestly want to improve.</p>