Please take a look at my essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>This is the SAT essay.
We are often reminded that acquiring and owning material possessions—money, property, jewelry, even clothing—will not lead to true happiness. While it is certainly true that material possessions alone cannot bring happiness or provide us with genuine meaning in life, there is something to be said for having material possessions. Not only can they make us comfortable, but the happiness they can provide, while it may be momentary, is still happiness.</p>

<p>Assignment: Do material possessions make us truly happy? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>"Acquiring and owning" material possessions does not bring successful results in the long run. Matilda's ambition for wealth shown in Guy de Mauppassant's "The Necklace" leads to her ruins, and Nobel's dynamite on sale defamed his reputation of an influential inventor. "Material possession", thus, provokes public criticism. Both Matilde and Nobel harbored wealth and paid dearly for it.</p>

<p>Matilde's vanity for money causes her unnecessary suffering, showing that "money and power" brings unhappiness. As the wife of lowly Ministry of Education clerk but somehow received an invitation to the society ball, Matilde uses all of her husband's savings and her wits to acquire a presentable dress, and borrows a seemingly expensive necklace by her rich friend, Jeanne, to attend to the grand society ball. Because she refused to evince her true identity to the opulent party goers, any mistakes or bad consequences of her actions derive from her initial deception. As she was falling into the dark, chasm of desire for "happiness", Matilde eventually received punishments for her obsession. After losing the seemingly priceless necklace, Matilde borrows money in ruinous circumstances to replace the lost necklace, and sufferes ten years of drudgery to repay her debt. Her avarice, indeed, did not make her world a better place. By deceiving her family and friends with her greed for money, she later realized her mistakes and tried to bring back her original status and her deteriorated relationships with the help of her friends and husband, who still accepted her. She, then, got what she originally asked for: happiness.</p>

2

<p>This is the SAT essay.
We are often reminded that acquiring and owning material possessions—money, property, jewelry, even clothing—will not lead to true happiness. While it is certainly true that material possessions alone cannot bring happiness or provide us with genuine meaning in life, there is something to be said for having material possessions. Not only can they make us comfortable, but the happiness they can provide, while it may be momentary, is still happiness.</p>

<p>Assignment: Do material possessions make us truly happy? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>“Acquiring and owning” material possessions do not bring successful results in the long run. Matilda’s ambition for wealth shown in Guy de Mauppassant’s “The Necklace” leads to her ruins, and Nobel’s dynamite on sale defamed his reputation of an influential inventor. “Material possession”, thus, provokes public criticism. Both Matilde and Nobel harbored wealth and paid dearly for it.</p>

<p>Matilde’s vanity for money causes her unnecessary suffering, showing that “money and power” brings unhappiness. As the wife of lowly Ministry of Education clerk but somehow able to an invitation to the society ball, Matilde uses all of her husband’s savings and her wits to acquire a presentable dress, and borrows a seemingly expensive necklace by her rich friend, Jeanne, to attend to the grand society ball. Because she refused to evince her true identity to the opulent party goers, any mistakes or bad consequences of her actions derive from her initial deception. As she was falling into the dark, chasm of desire for “happiness”, Matilde eventually received punishments for her obsession. After losing the seemingly priceless necklace, Matilde borrows money in ruinous circumstances to replace the lost necklace, and suffers ten years of drudgery to repay her debt. Her avarice, indeed, did not make her world a better place. By deceiving her family and friends with her greed for money, she later realized her mistakes and tried to bring back her original status and her deteriorated relationships with the help of her friends and husband, who still accepted her. She, then, got what she originally asked for: happiness.</p>

<p>Nobel’s Dynamite that seemed to bring him “wealth and power” instigated criticism by people for the harmful effects of the invention. Mistaking Ludwig Nobel’s death with Alfred’s, a French newspaper printed “The Merchant of Death is Dead” for his dynamite sale fortunes. Although his dynamites, which their purpose was to help landmine businesses, received ovation in the beginning, the deleterious effects of dynamites, shown in battles, brought fear to the public and disparaged Nobel for selling such harmful weapons. His sale of dynamite, then, was questioned for Nobel’s true purpose: money. To dispel misunderstandings, Nobel, after his death, gave his entire substantial estate to establish what would later be called Nobel Prizes. His sale of dynamite, indeed, only brought momentary happiness.</p>

<p>As can be seen above, Matilde’s vanity and Nobel’s sale of dynamite verify the assertion above. In the end, “the material possessions” will only bring misfortunes and dissatisfaction. Both teach us the consequence of “acquiring wealth and money.” The happiness caused from owning expensive properties, then, will have a reverse effect.</p>

<p>~The first post is cut off. Sorry about that.</p>

3

<p>Anyone? </p>

4

<p>solid 10. Numerous grammatical errors. Lacking a qualification paragraph to discuss and compare the two examples. </p>