Please tell me I'm not alone . . . . .

Applying to College
1

I feel like my life has been a waste, I got rejected from every single college I wanted to go, including Northwestern, uChicago, MIT, Stanford, Carnegie-Mellon, Columbia, and Harvard. I had a 35 act and a 4.8 gpa, played the violin with awards to show for it, was voraciously active in the community, got recommendations from my favorite teachers, and spent months on my essays. Is this because my family is poor? Maybe because I’m Muslim? I srsly don’t know what to think at this point . . . of course I didn’t expect to get into all of these top schools, but not even ONE. Now I have to go to my state school with a 22 average act, I could have just relaxed the past 4 years and gotten the same result.

Sorry if this post just felt like a rant but why did this happen? I don’t want to make the same mistakes when I apply to grad school so any advice or consolation would be appreciated!

Thanks for reading =-=

2

Maybe your essays needed tweaking, but that is not important now. I don’t think your life has been a waste at all. Go to your state university and I’m sure you will be just as successful as if you had gone to any of your top colleges. Sometimes life throws you curve balls, but you make the best of what you have. Just be happy you have the opportunity to pursue a higher education.

3

Did you not apply to any schools that fell between your state flagship and high reaches?

4

It’s math. And you are seriously good at that for sure.

10 hyper competitive, incredibly accomplished students apply. 9 of those incredible talents receptive disappointing news.

Now that’s a random sample. If you start to parse individual characteristics they look for in building a class the odds drop. Male, culturally unique, common geography and type of school. Now it’s 100 apply and 95 of that cohort receive disappointing news.

The odds are terrible.

And it is like the lottery. The more you play does not increase your odds. Each is 95% chance of being denied. That doesn’t improve with additional 95% odds of being denied.

It’s not the end of the world. You can attend your state university. Either you end up loving it or you can transfer.

You can also take a gap year and work. Reapply next year and don’t use such a barbell approach. There are so many incredible schools with fantastic financial aid and merit in between your current option and the super reaches you applied to this year.

Go read a thread from beginning to end by @HKimPOSSIBLE. He has the same type of situation as you last year but with fewer options. He was undocumented DACA teen and no finaid.

This year he is choosing between usc bowdoin Washington and lee as a Jefferson scholar and uic for a guaranteed med school admission.

No you are not alone.

5

I am so sorry to read that you feel this way. Your accomplishments are very impressive. I think when you go to your state school, all that you have done and all that hard work will pay off in that you might find college is easier than it is for others. You may be able to get leadership opportunities or internships and other things like this. I do think being from a less affluent family can impact admissions at some schools but not at others. I don’t think that being Muslim would be a reason you were not admitted. I do think that for the types of schools you listed, maybe over 90% of the applicants are students like you who are very qualified. So, at that point who gets admitted becomes like a lottery rather than something the people who deserve to be admitted based on stats and their activities. Almost all applicants are deserving. I’m so sorry you were not one admitted. This is not necessarily a bad thing, although I completely understand your feelings. I hope that you make your first year a great experience. College is largely what we put into it. I went to a highly ranked college as an undergrad and have taken courses and did my grad school at schools that are not really ranked at all. I found my experience in grad school and at a local regional college had better professors and classes than I had at that highly ranked undergrad college. There is a professor who didn’t get tenure at the local regional school got tenure at one of the top Ivy League schools. Top rated schools come with more prestige but that doesn’t mean they give a better education. If you do well your first year, you might get to transfer to a preferred school. If you did not apply to schools that are between the level of those you listed and your state school, I would look at that area to add to your transfer school application list. But you might fall in love with your state school and not want to transfer. I know plenty of people who are very successful in life who went to state schools, regional state schools, etc. I think you will be successful in life no matter where you go to college based on what you accomplished in high school. It is normal to feel upset right now but I hope you let those feelings go before the fall and have a great year.

6

My brother was valedictorian years ago before colleges were nearly as competitive as they are now. He didn’t get into his top pics and went to a school well below that everyone considered his level (varsity 3 sports, team captain all 3, in tons of school clubs, had a successful business he started, and so much more). He has had a great career and often says if he had gone to those other schools he doesn’t think he would have done as well as he has.

7

Oh, and you are not alone. Lots of people have posted the same or very similar stories here.

8

First of all, you accomplished a lot during high school. Those accomplishments remain, no matter where you attend college.

My advice is that admissions to college or to grad school are not a “prize” for good grades and accomplishments. The college decides whether to accept you based on the profile you present. They like accepting students with high grades, since those are the type of students that are more likely to succeed.

The problem is that, unfortunately, accomplishments do NOT speak for themselves. You need to present them in the best way, and if you did not do so, you run the risk that you will not seem as good as you are. A bad essay can also mess your chances. an application which is not targeted to the colleges to which you are applying can also mess up your chances. Not every college, but those colleges on your list really like seeing applications which were written with them in mind

As to why you weren’t accepted. Every one of those colleges you mentioned reject over 90% of their applicants. There were likely at least three times as many students with your stats and accomplishments as they accepted. Your list of colleges all have acceptance rates of below 10%. If you applied RD, the chances are even lower.
You are an excellent applicant, but you are competing with far more exceptional applicants than these colleges can accept.

Your religion did not affect your acceptances (or lack thereof), and your low income just affected your chances because you likely did not get the same level of guidance in preparing your application as a wealthy kid would get.

I will ask the same question that @vhsdad did - didn’t you apply to any matches, i.e., colleges which are more selective than your state school but not as selective as the list of high reaches you had?

I know that there are many very good colleges which would not only accept you, but would offer you lots of money to attend there. Places like U Arizona, UNM, Alabama, etc. You would likely get good offers from U Minnesota, U Iowa, Missouri, etc.

I think that your main mistake was not applying strategically. However, it is far too early to consider strategies for applying to grad schools, since you are not yet sure what you want to do in grad school, if anything.

In the meantime, do your best to shine in undergrad, do internships, work with professors, interact with the rest of the top 25% of the students. When you are looking to apply to grad school, avail yourself of the resources that your college provides, speak with professors and grad students, etc.

Remember, you can also transfer to another college, if you are not happy where you are.

Good luck!

9

I work with quite a few graduates from MIT, Stanford, various IITs (in India), a few schools in China and Japan, and our local in-state public university.

Considering recent graduates, the best students from our local in-state public university are just as strong as the best students from MIT and Stanford. I will not but could easily name 6 or 8 that are world class. Having attended a local public university has not slowed them down at all.

I do not know how much of this is caused by the unpredictability of acceptances at highly ranked private universities, and how much of this is caused by the cost of attending private universities. Regardless of the reason, it is very clear that you can do VERY well with a degree from your in-state public university.

10

I wanted to also say, in case it wasn’t obvious in what I wrote already, you can do everything right, make no ‘mistake’ in your application, write the most amazing essay, present yourself flawlessly, and still not get into those schools because most students are qualified who apply. Students who get in are not more qualified than these other qualified students, but are luckier!! (Or they have some type of hook–famous parents, alumni parents, super wealthy donating a building parents, or ???)

11

As an opinion, I think your list lacked imagination and cohesiveness. If you liked the University of Chicago, why not Reed or Swarthmore? If you thought you would fit at MIT, why not RPI? If you were drawn to CMU, why not the University of Rochester or CWRU? By concentrating on essentially common names, you appear not to have been seeking a personal fit in a meaningful way.

12

We were recently given a copy of “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be” by Frank Bruni, and I wished I had read it this summer when we were helping my son select colleges, my husband oversold some highly selective schools and he got way ore rejections than we expected.

I strongly recommend reading it. You seem to have drive and a good work ethic - you can stand out at the state school and be a big fish. Best of luck to you.

13

You’re not alone . . .

The same thing happened to the daughter of friends of ours despite the fact that like you, she was a top kid. They consulted with a private college counselor who knew where the opportunities were. She ended up going to Kenyon, a great school, AND getting money to help with the cost.

14

A couple of comments:

  1. Not to beat a dead horse but you applied unwisely. You applied to a number of schools with incredibly low acceptance rates that must be considered reaches for any unhooked student and then one super-safety. There are tons of amazing schools in between the reach and safety school in terms of admission rates. You should have researched and applied to schools that could be considered matches.
  2. If you are truly unhappy with your option, you can choose to take a gap year and reapply. Or a list comes out in May (I think) of colleges that have open spots -- take a look at that -- sometimes there is a very good college on the list.
  3. Or you can go to your state school and shine. Did you get into an honors program at the state u? If so that could improve your expereince there.
  4. Nothing you did in HS was in vain. Your accomplishments, study habits etc. will help you achieve at the next level wherever you end up.
  5. Don't forget how many people would give anything to get a 4 year college education. Don't take your opportunity for granted.
15

All this year has proven to me is that hard works amounts to nothing! :slight_smile:

16

OP- as long as we are on the topic of discrimination (which I don’t think played a factor in your college results) you should know that Pepe the Frog has been co-opted on some virulently hateful white supremacist groups, and is considered a dog whistle for violence against Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, etc. You might want to consider a different online identity going forward. A quick google search will give you a quick education on this.

RE: your admissions results- you have several choices right now.

1- Go where you’ve been admitted and knock the cover off the ball. Seriously- be the best student, the most gifted musician, the most awesome community member that the campus has ever seen. That will position you well for whatever comes next in your life.

2- Take a gap year, get a job, and reapply to a different set of schools and go off to a college you are more enthusiastic about and a year wiser (and with some savings).

3- Go where you’ve been admitted and hole up in your dorm and be resentful of your life.

4- Wait until May when many terrific colleges post that they are still accepting applicants. You can look online for lists from past years- there are some fantastic options. No guarantees that the list will be the same, but posters here can give you a quick education about which ones are the most “like” the campuses you fell in love with first time around.

you have options!!!

17

@CindyLeuWho, I have great respect for you, for everything you have achieved so far, and I want to believe that once you grieve over your rejections (please don’t get stuck in the depression stage of the process for too long!), you will come out of this process even stronger. If you want to, channel your anger productively: prove yourself to the world, become extremely successful and world-famous, to have your name added to the list of people who made it big despite their dream college rejections, such as Steven Spielberg and Warren Buffett. And then… use your newfound fame and wealth for good. Institute a scholarship at your state school to support extremely deserving young women like yourself in building their own path to success. And when you encounter the love of your love, be it a spouse or a dream job, recognize that it was a combination of things that led you to that point and made you an exceptional match; chances are, you wouldn’t be there or wouldn’t be as “perfect” for that person or that job if you haven’t had your tenacity strengthened by all these rejections.

Yes, it is sad to think that your chances of getting into one of your dream schools were diminished because your family couldn’t afford extra resources (like essay coaches) that likely helped other candidates present themselves better to the admission officers. Don’t dwell on it, though - take pride in the fact that you’ve achieved so much all on your own. Years from now, when you are ultra-successful, nobody will attribute that success to the amazing opportunities offered by the elite schools, but only to your personal qualities, including, yes, I repeat myself - tenacity and perseverance. So many people here on cc believe in you, you should do, too!

18

@typiCAmom Thank you for saying that, and I know you are right, this is kind of my way of ranting and complaining about the process even though I know things will somehow work out. I will continue to prove them all wrong! I just need to get over the grieving process!

19

@CindyLeuWho, happy to hear you say it! I know you are on the right track and will do great!

20

If the only reason that you are studying, engaging in extracurricular activities, engaging in social action is to get you into the college of your choice, then you are likely not doing a good job at any of them.

You are not learning to enjoy intellectual challenges if you are working hard to get good grades, just to get into college, and if you hate doing that, why would you even want to attend a college which focuses on intellectual challenges?

If you are not engaging is sports, music, dance, debate, etc, because you love doing those things, then you are just checking off boxes, and not actually accomplishing anything, so it is likely that colleges will see right through that.

If you are not engaging in social activism to actually help anybody but yourself, then you are merely engaging in a vanity project, and likely not actually helping anybody anyway, and colleges will know that as well.

If, however, you are doing well in academics because you find it important to challenge yourself and to succeed, if you are engaging in sports, dance, etc because you truly enjoy doing so, and if you are actually in social activism to help people, the time you spent doing these is not wasted, nor should you see it as wasted.