plz Give Score 2 my essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>In his poem “In memoriam”, romantic poet Alferd Lord Tennyson express his view that loss is an unavoidable consequence of love. Yet, rather than shunning love because of this, Tennyson resolves to accept both experience of love and the pain that inevitably comes with it. As he writes in his often quoted passage. “Tis better to have loved and lost than have loved at all.”
Assignment: are people unwise to pursue love even when know it will cause them pain? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken your reading, studies, experience, or observation.</p>

<p>The essay:
Have you ever pondered upon why we eat or drink? Yeah! so simple, because it gives energy. It is our necessity but isn’t just fresh veges, fruits and water enough? Why we eat Thai, Chinese, and Italian? Why don’t we just cook at home to fulfil our appetite, but instead we dine in? The answer, simpler, we love to do this.
If you ever had a desire to win a competition or you love to win a 100-meter dash, but unfortunely you couldn’t .Will you leave yourself to rout in the pain?, or instead you will desire to let the pain leave you ? And surely for this you will struggle for what you suffered.
We can’t just simply deny the pros of loving by thinking the pain it gives. We don’t just leave playing football because it can hurt. So why not love.
Suffering and pain is a poison, that can be cured when it is burned, the heat with which we love, the burning desire we had, will help us burn the poison and cure it. If our Love and desired is greater, then it will turn into the tonic, which will help us purse towards our goal.
In the movie “GOAL”, the young Santiago munez, never gave up, he never gave up, fought hard, suffered pain but stayed on because he loved football, and his love was more than the pain. He fought and in the end the war was won.
Love with suffering is a part of man’s development .Your body and strength can take us near our goal but only love will help us acquire it. (271 words )</p>

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<p>I’m guessing that you’re an international student, and perhaps English is difficult for you. Your essay is very hard to critique because language seems to be such a barrier, and I’m hesitant to give it a grade at all. What I will say is that your examples might be good ones for responding to the assignment, but you don’t always make it clear what the relationship is between your example and the assignment. I think your point is that love is worth the pain, but it’s honestly hard to tell. In your essay, you’ve got 4-5 examples, none of which are developed very well. What I might suggest is to be very specific in how each example relates, and you may be best off taking just one good example and discussing it more in depth. Also, you need an introductory paragraph that explains what position you’re taking. Why don’t you take another stab at it, and then let us look at it. Your movie example seems like a really good one, so maybe try working with that a little more. Good luck.</p>

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<p>Sure thanks for u post
u guessed me rite i am international student</p>

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<p>I would give it a 7</p>

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<p>lol there’s a thread on how to get 12 on the essay in 10 days. lol</p>

<p>It actually happened to me. lol and im an international student.</p>

<p>check it out…Print it out and highlight the main ideas from it,and study 'em all.</p>

<p>I did 5 practice essays before the test…it really works.</p>

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<p>can you link that thread for us?</p>