<p>I was so excited when my D decided which college to go to that, in my frenzy to rid the house of all unnecessary catalogues and mail, I accidentally threw away all of the response forms to the schools that she is not attending. I looked on some of the school's "portals" and don't see an option to decline admission. Is it acceptable for her to e-mail the admissions offices?</p>
<p>Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to email admissions and graciously decline their offer.</p>
<p>If your daughter wants to go the extra mile, she should also thank the colleges for their consideration and acceptance and tell them where she WILL enroll. Admission officials are always eager to know who their “competition” is. If your daughter can easily explain why she made this other choice (e.g., “Better aid!”) then that can be helpful, too. </p>
<p>Not only will admission folks appreciate this information, but also it could end up working in your daughter’s favor down the road. One never knows where this road will take her … or where it will take these admission officials … maybe to the grad school where your daughter will be applying next. ;)</p>
<p>^^^ Are you saying that if a student is polite about declining that someone may remember his/her name four years later?</p>
<p>Absolutely. I remember some of the girls I interviewed for Smith in the late 80’s, if they really stood out in the crowd.</p>
<p>I don’t feel that a student should decline an acceptance politely ONLY because it may work in her favor later on. It’s the right thing to do regardless. But, even so, you just never know whose path will cross one’s own again in years to come.</p>
<p>I completely disagree with this. While I think it’s important to be polite and professional in general, I think it is completely misleading to suggest this could in any way shape or form play a role in graduate school admissions. It would not at all be the same people. moreover, no one would remember you. Third, even if they remembered you, what kind of graduate school would admit students on the criteria of politeness!?</p>
<p>Almost all of the schools that my D declined thanked her for letting them know (she did also share with them her final decision) and at least 2 told her they would keep her file “active” should she change her mind. It is hard to say no but I think it is so important the the student do so.</p>
<p>Keeping a file active does not mean that it’s front and center on the admissions director’s desk with a sticky note saying, “Call ‘austinmtmom’s D weekly and see if she’s changed her mind’.” It’s just form letter speak for “You’re still in the computer … Somewhere.” </p>
<p>No one will care one bit if you decline the admissions offer. It doesn’t matter about getting a job later or getting into grad school. If you send in your deposit, you’re in. If you don’t, they assume you’re not coming.</p>
<p>Colleges do a a great job of making students feel like the admissions process is very personal and they care truly and deeply about each and every applicant. In reality, though, there are thousands and thousands of applicants each year and many would be just as happy not to process the extra paper work of the carefully written “Thanks but no thanks” letters. </p>
<p>It’s not as if you applied for a job and are turning down a job offer. I hope you can see the obvious differences.</p>
<p>Politely following through is never a bad idea. A “thank you” is rarely ill advised.</p>
<p>Wow benny1 - I don’t think I said anything like her file being “front and center.” I factually stated what she was told for whatever it is worth. I didn’t say you had to craft a potential Pulitzer prize winning thanks but no thanks letter. I still think it is the appropriate thing to do to send an email declining the acceptance. It may not speed up the process for someone else on the waitlist but then again it may so what’s the harm?</p>
<p>My D composed one email and sent it off in separate emails to the admissions offices for each college. Something along the lines of: “Thank you for admitting me. It was truly an honor to have been selected. But I have decided to attend xx. Have a great summer”.</p>
<p>I do think it’s important for the student to politely decline and also share where s/he will be attending instead. It’s a reflection of the high school, if nothing else. I also think there’s also a very slight chance my kid may transfer and it’s important to not burn the bridges.</p>
<p>
I’m curious who told you this. Please be honest.</p>
<p>When I worked at Smith, every scrap of paper that came from an applicant went into that student’s folder. This included thank-you notes at the end of the decision season from admitted applicants who would be enrolling elsewhere. We saved applications (and some, though not all, applicant materials) for several years (maybe four? Can’t recall … and it may have changed since I left). </p>
<p>Whenever a college student applied to transfer to Smith, she would answer the ubiquitous application question that asked, “Have you applied here before?” If the answer was “Yes,” we would drag the folder out of the basement. Occasionally there would be a nice note at the end thanking the admission staff for their efforts on her behalf. </p>
<p>Although transfer students were certainly not admitted on the basis of an erstwhile bread-and-butter letter, finding one in a folder certainly launched the evaluation process on a positive note (so to speak ;)). Obviously, college grades and other considerations were what counted, but, as limabeans points out, it’s wise to not burn bridges. </p>
<p>Also, a separate but related point:</p>
<p>If, during the admissions process, one admission office staff member goes well out of the way for you, it’s especially nice to ask for his or her name and mention it in the thank-you note. When I worked at Smith, I recall those instances when some of the staff members got such personal “shout outs” (though no one called them “shout outs” back then) and were always so pleased. The secretaries, in particular, who were often the unsung heroes of the process, rarely got personal attention from applicants and were usually thrilled when they did. (And sometimes this even helped with their annual performance reviews.) So if someone really goes out of their way for you, don’t hesitate to say so.</p>
<p>Where did we go from “helping with grad school” to “helping with transfer?” Two entirely different things. At least clarify, admit, it can not possibly help with graduate school as you earlier suggested Sally.</p>
<p>I think highschool students have far far more to worry about than writing notes and worrying about where they end up and how that will play out for them down the road. In fact I would say its irresponsible to even bring it up.</p>
<p>Universities are just another big business as far as I’m concerned. They charge a whole lot often to even apply. They drag students through a ridiculously nonsensical, stressful journey, which benefits them in the rankings, not the students. You have highschool kids in freshmen year ■■■■■■■■ CC, worrying about their ECs, re-writing their SATs for the third time, and choosing schools on the basis of their ‘grad school plans’. To now suggest they ought to help paid staff members at universities or engage in assisting the university’s marketing efforts…I just find it plain wrong.</p>
<p>Sure send an email saying thanks but no thanks. Sure personally thank the individual you worked with in the admissions office. That is common sense good courtesy and professionalism. Beyond that you owe them NOTHING and be assured it will NOT matter for graduate school, and don’t let anyone try and plant that seed in your head. Universities and staff members can take care of themselves.</p>
<p>This thread reminds me of workplace advice to be kind to those you pass on the way up - you may meet them again on the way down. </p>
<p>Sometimes, a student decides to attend a particular college and then regrets it and realizes that a college they had turned down would have been the better fit. Particularly if it is a smaller college - it is really nice if when the admissions staff reactivates that file - and they see a polite note from the student. It doesn’t hurt to take a few minutes to be polite.</p>
<p>I just don’t understand. Where is the controversy in advising a person to be gracious and polite? Does there always have to be some personal gain involved? If I figure I will never see you again, then I guess I am a chump when I thank you for holding the elevator for me.</p>
<p>Just do it. I promise it won’t be painful.</p>
<p>D sent an e-mail to the Admissions Counselor at each college she was dealing with to thank them for all their assistance and letting them know she had decided upon another college. Some e-mailed her back with either a thank you for advising them of her decision and a few had some specific questions about her decision which she answered. The larger universities that she applied to did not respond at all and she still receives communication from them. </p>
<p>We only had one bad incident where the Admissions Counselor called my D on her cell phone angry about her decision. She was stunned and hurt and I was angry at the response. The bottom line is that it never hurts to let a college know that you have chosen another school. It allows them to take you off their list and make room for another applicant. It is the right thing to do and politeness never killed anyone.</p>
<p>I just don’t understand. Where is the controversy in advising a person to be gracious and polite? Does there always have to be some personal gain involved? If I figure I will never see you again, then I guess I am a chump when I thank you for holding the elevator for me.</p>
<p>Just do it. I promise it won’t be painful.</p>
<p>^^^
Thank you, Mafool! Nicely put.<br>
As the OP I would just like to say…wow!!! I really didn’t think I was starting a controversial thread here. Of course a student should politely inform the schools that she is declining admissions! My question was just about the appropriateness of an e-mail. Not about whether to inform them at all. And even if the admissions office never gives your child another thought, your child has acted like an adult at a time when it is called for. That, right there, is worth the time it takes to do the right thing, isn’t it?</p>
<p>I don’t think there is any controversy on this thread about sending a polite email. Who on here disagreed with that? </p>
<p>The controversy is around false beliefs about how it might somehow help the student in the future (which it won’t and which should not be the reason for doing it anyway), and around false beliefs that there is some kind of personal relationship between a student and an institution (which in most cases is not at all), or as if this is in anyway a big deal. </p>
<p>Do it because it’s best to err on the side of being polite and professional; but that is the only reason.</p>