I had about the most hands-off parents you could imagine. But you bet your last dollar that if someone had drunkenly assaulted me at a high school party, they’d likely have marched me to the cops, too.
Poor judgement is not a crime! And I’d bet my last dollar that the girl wasn’t stone-cold sober herself.
That kid from Exeter who had to bake bread for penance for sexual assault (and later was arrested) had his acceptance rescinded from Penn. It definitely happens.
http://www.thedp.com/article/2016/11/former-student-on-trial-for-sexual-assault
Post #41, poor judgement is not a crime but assault is. I don’t care if the girl was rip roaring drunk, I would bet she didn’t tell him to go all Hulk Hogan on her.
That suggests that both boys consented to the horseplay and your S had no intent of hurting his friend. The OP hasn’t come back to answer questions, so we don’t know if that’s the case here. Personally, I think it unlikely that a teenage girl would consent to being body slammed+ by a guy.
Poor judgement= puking on your friends parents new leather couch.
Just because the girl had a drink- or was drunk- did not mean she gave consent to being physically attacked.
What planet do you live on?
I can’t see this being serious enough to ruin a kid’s entire future over, outside of the conditions stated in my posts upthread. It just sounds vindictive, as if the parents want to blame OP for the fact that their daughter was at a party with drinking and rowdiness and don’t want to face the fact that she is involved in those kinds of activities.
strange that the girl’s condition is kind of a big deal but OP did not say a word about it. for all we know the girl laughed it off and jumped up and speared him right back, and the parents are overreacting. or, she could be in a hospital bed on life support. or literally anything in between.
i tend to think she must have gotten hurt enough to have a bruise or injury that was apparent enough for the parents to notice. otherwise how would they know? i guess she could have been upset enough to tell them, but that would mean admitting you were at a party with underage drinking. i know i would not freely give up that information to my parents. maybe parent-kid relationships have drastically changed since the mid-80s.
But was there intent to harm her? Do we know for sure that she wasn’t involved in horseplay too?
One where kids use poor judgment, break rules and let benign incidents spiral out of hand. I don’t think consent even enters into it. Intent does, and I really don’t see where OP truly intended to hurt the girl.
Well, the OP has logged on since this discussion began so presumably he could clear it all up… but is choosing not to. Personally, if I was being accused of hurting someone who just “laughed it off,” I would want to set people straight. But that’s just me.
Did you look at the video link I posted earlier? The OP himself said he “speared” the girl WWE style. Those are vicious hits. Unless the OP is very small and the girl is very tall and muscular, it’s hard to imagine he could do such a move without realizing there was a big possibility of injury.
In terms of culpability of the OP, it doesn’t matter if she was drinking. There is absolutely no legal requirement that someone must be “stone cold sober” in order to have the right to not be assaulted.
Vicious hits, yes, but the video showed trained WWE participants doing them in a professional manner, not one drunken and one maybe-drunken kid at a party.
Regardless of the facts- the mere title of this thread suggests that the OP is more concerned with his own future than the consequences of his actions. Maybe he can change it to “possible stupid mistake and I’m so remorseful that I hurt someone”. That might show a little less self-absorption and a little more introspection.
The degree of injury doesn’t always matter until sentencing. Assault is assault whether there is an injury or not.
@twoinanddone Apparently it does in New Jersey. See http://law.justia.com/codes/new-jersey/2013/title-2c/section-2c-12-1
So, while I obviously don’t know what happened, my guess is there was an injury. If so, being reckless is sufficient. There’s no need to establish intent.
I feel a need to speak out here as another mother of only sons. When one of mine was a pre-teen, playing on a mixed sex basketball team, he shoved a girl on the opposite team during the game. She wasn’t pushed down and I don’t believe the referee intervened. I was not there.
My husband was as upset as I’ve seen him. Son had already apologized to the girl when they got home. Husband asked me to please call her mother, apologize, and tell her son was punished for the behavior. Privileges were revoked. It was rare at that age our sons misbehaved enough to be punished and this made a lasting impression. Though their father’s anger was probably more memorable than the punishment.
I can’t imagine my husband’s reaction to a 17 year old son doing this, but for sure there would be absolutely nothing in his mind, or mine, excusing that behavior.
Fwiw
The OP has never been back to comment, which makes me think he is sitting back and amusing himself with the dialogue. At this point, if he did come back, I would view anything he has to say with skepticism.
Those assault offenses differ by using a weapon or intent, not by the degree of injury, @jonri. It’s still assault if you slap someone and leave no mark or if you slap them hard enough to leave a black and blue mark. If you hit them with a weapon, it’s a different charge. If you intend to hurt them, yet another.
I’m just saying that the degree of injury often doesn’t matter until the penalty phase.
Interesting that my query to all readers here about the responsibility of a drunken guy has gone unanswered.
Perhaps some clever readers knew where I was going with that.
And, I don’t agree with Blossom’s post 53. Because he is asking about how this incident might affect his potential college, on the College Confidential website , is no clue on how remorseful he may feel. How remorseful he may feel is a separate issue from college dreams. Or to turn it another way, just because he isn’t expressing remorse to us here does not necessarily mean he is not remorseful.
Oops! I meant Blossom’s post 52.