I could give you excuses why “this isn’t fair,” but I’m beyond that. My sophomore college kid got caught w an open container of beer. He and 8 others, couldn’t get into a frat party, stood outside a frat house, got caught. He did wrong, I know. But only my kid and 1 other were suspended. I know this goes on his permanent record. So I fear for everything - financial aid, grad school/job apps, etc. I have politely asked for all college records pertaining to this issue. Mostly bc I want to make sure my kid’s version jibes w the college’s. College tells me they will release NO RECORDS to me. So I don’t know what I’m up against, and yes, he’s already written an apology letter and all that. What is our next step and where should we take this? TIA
What “permanent record” are you concerned about? If he applies to grad school, it’s not likely this will be a part of his application. When he applies for a job, the most a potential employer will care about is the school he went to, his GPA, and his major.
Obviously this isn’t good, and my main concern would be why only he and one other were suspended.
There is no way the college is going to turn over his records to you, but maybe he can ask for them? My freshman got a ticket fir an open container one hour after we dropped him off. It was the city police and not campus, fine was over $500 but now I’m glad it wasn’t campus police. Good luck!
Suspension sounds very harsh . Unfortunately, there may be more to the story. But, try not to panic. Does he have access to any free legal help through the school?
The “permanent record” I am concerned about are, as mentioned, grad/lawMBA school applications, financial aid packages, etc. A mom I confided in told me her son got all the way thru NYU law school then had to sue to take the bar exam because of an open beer issue that took place when he was 16 YEARS OLD AND FAILED TO DISCLOSE!
As for my son, there is no police record, but whatever happened that night was enough to round up 8 kids and campus security wrote them up. My son’s RA told him not to worry about it. He went before a college tribunal, was completely honest about the open beer, and a week later was emailed that he suspended and the decision was final. So maybe now you can see why I’d at least to view the college’s record to fully understand why my kid – not 6 others – are suspended. Thanks for caring enough to reach out.
You are not up against the school. You are up against the reckless choices made by your kid.
Your next step is for your kid to take their punishment, and to go back and to not screw up the next time. The worst thing you could do for your child is to try to get this hidden or expunged. Your underage child was standing in public with an open container because they didn’t fear the consequences. Let this stand, and keep the lesson learned in place.
OP- the issue with the bar exam was NOT the open beer- it was the failure to disclose. Like they say- it ain’t the crime, it’s the coverup.
Yes, my son politely wrote a letter, asking that any and all paperwork that contributed to the decision to suspend him be viewed by his parents. He added a line about that if their hesitancy to hand over paperwork was bc he is no longer a minor, my son was hereby waiving that right.
This may sound naive, but we’ve never had any legal/school troubles with our kids. So we’re stumped: Why wouldn’t the college let us see the paperwork?
100% right, you are.
But it’s also the lesson that stuff follows you around unless there is something that can be done about it. No idea if there is. So I’m opening that question up to this very savvy community here. Is there some kind of next step for my son or for his parents? I don’t want to be a PITA (Pain In The Ass Parent), but it does seem like there’s a lot of stuff on the line for him here; that something might be worth pursuing?
TIA
Can he request copies of the report for himself? It sounds like campus police caught him? No ticket or fine? I think he should ask if the suspension will be noted on his transcripts.
Suspension sounds really harsh - and I wouldn’t be surprised if there is more to the story. In that sense, I would want to see the official records, too, and not rely strictly on what my kid was telling me. I don’t know how college records work, which office to get them from, what they are entitled to withhold, etc. But it sounds like there was some kind of formal process and there should be a record of what was decided, why and by whom.
But at the end of the day, he is an adult and your rights are limited. He has to be spearheading this.
Check the university’s reporting policies to outside requests for information and its document retention policy. Some schools only report disciplinary action for a limited period
Again, I know I sound naive but why wouldn’t a college be interested in an open and honest conversation about why they are suspending a student? Why NOT release their paperwork to the student/student’s family?
The email my son received was one paragraph long that offered no further details other than the tribunal found him guilty and he had 48 hours to evacuate the campus.
Wouldn’t it be helpful to have a full explanation so that family knows what/how to deal w this when our kid comes crawling home?
I will look into that, but “free legal assistance through the school” would, to me, seem like the scales of justice would be severely tilted in favor of the school But we will inquire.
Thank you!
Oh this is excellent advice. Thank you for that, I shall act swiftly.
I wonder whose office I should reaching out to. Several, perhaps, to see who responds?
I don’t think this is a legal issue. A college can suspend, or expel a student, for a cause that may not even be illegal. Many schools, though, have a system and a process in place in which a suspended or expelled student can appeal the suspension or expulsion.
Oh yes, HE is spearheading this. The law says he is an adult. His college says he is an adult so we, his parents, had no access to his grades or student aid package until he signed a FERPA waiver last year. He’s adult enough to be called to a tribunal w no parent notification.
But not adult enough to drink a beer! (and yes, I realize that is the “law” law, not the “college” law.).
I have only asked to proofread his entreaties to the college so that he doesn’t come off as some rich preppy jerk who gets away w everything. He may look like one, dress like one, but his Sperrys are fake and his clothes are from Target.
No, they don’t care about his family, he is a legal adult, colleges want to deal directly with the students. This is your son’s issue, definitely advise him, but he’s the one who should be asking these questions.
You are 100% right.
But we are not trying to “go up” against the college. We (his parents) are just trying to know in its totality what happened. Our kid has waived his right to privacy in this issue, and we are trying to FIND OUT how bad this is - for his current punishment and atonement, AND the consequences of this on his permanent college record, that will extend well beyond the confines of the little patch of semi-suburbia he will return to presently.
Thank you for your input.
Precisely. Thank you for putting it so plainly. Appreciated!