Post College Denial Stress Disorder, if it may be called that.

Hey everyone. I’m an incoming Freshman to the University of Michigan-Dearborn. As much as college seems to be an interesting and opportunity-filled couple of years, the one thing I still cannot quite put behind myself is my deferral, waitlist, and final rejection from the University of Michigan Ann Arbor College of Engineering.

In high school, I undertook the IB program, and I was also awarded my diploma last July. I was a 4.2105 cumulative student with a 33 on his ACT scored the first time and a 32 the second time. A list of the activities I did in high school include Key Club (Kiwanis organization for service). 1 year of JV tennis, 2 years of NHS, 3 years of tennis…
I guess it’s pointless to list off my high school achievements now, but from face value, I appeared to be the Ann Arbor student.

I remember spending a lot of time cranking in hard work among doing extracurriculars and simply performing at 100% for my years in high school. But then, I feel the place I messed up was college applications. My essays were indecent because I had low self-confidence and was insecure about myself. Not only is writing one of my worst subjects, but I don’t feel I strongly answered the questions or even reached out for the support I needed.

And it was hard dealing with all of this seeing my fellow IB students making it into Duke, into UChicago, into Case Western, Vanderbilt, and of course into Umich Ann Arbor.

I was thoroughly stressed, and I wanted someone to see how I felt. I never applied out of state, and I consistently felt I had wasted my own potential as a student, if that does not sound egotistic. So last March, I entered a speech contest for our Graduation Ceremony at my High School. This is where I discovered that I had the talent of humility and self-honesty as well as a unique ability to inspire.

I talked about my rejection from the college I wanted and I turned it into a positive story. Here is about a minute of the six minute long speech:

“Especially throughout this senior year, it seemed everyone around me was getting into the top universities, receiving great offers, and doing great works for the community. And on one side I felt great for them, but on the other, I constantly compared myself, wondering if I had done anything comparable or achieved anything comparable. It seemed crazy that one person’s acceptance into UChicago would make me overlook all the individual achievements I had, but that’s exactly what happened. As amazing as it was that someone very close to me achieved so highly, when I didn’t get into the college I wanted to, I automatically placed myself below the people who had, and I almost refused to see what was unique about myself because my ego limited me.
But I can tell you, throughout my four years of high school, I have learned that the strongest people aren’t those who show off their victories. They are the ones that win battles we know nothing about. Some of the most humble, thoughtful, and caring individuals I’ve met in high school weren’t necessarily those who were the smartest or most popular. This really taught me that we all have qualities inside us that we should value, and we should embrace what makes us different. Those qualities are what will let us make this world different.When I had submitted my speech and presented in front of the teachers.”

The teachers had told me this was the speech they were looking for and that the second I had left that room, they knew that I had the quality of the speaker they wanted at graduation. This is the monumental event I hold so dearly to myself and the one large thing I am proud of from my Senior Year. Not a college acceptance, but a redemption in a way. I have had many people come up and congratulate me and genuinely say they enjoyed the speech I had given.

I don’t know where that self confidence and inspiration came to me when I wrote that speech, but I wish I had this confidence during college application season for my essays.

As much as I would love to say I really did get over rejection, I never truly have, and to this day I struggle with my inability to sell myself when it was required the most. To work the hardest when it was needed during College Apps, but I slacked and wasted my 3 years of hard work that seemed like perfection.

My countless friends who got into UMich express sorrow at me not getting in, but it seems their care goes no further than that. I consistently waver between some form of jealousy for them and self-pity for myself for not being competent enough. It seems to me that the lazy people in school get into Umich, and the hard work that I did has not paid off in the direction I wanted it to go.

So now that I’m going to Dearborn with things like AP Credit form receiving a 5 on the AP Calc BC Exam or so much tuition already paid off by scholarship money (one positive of Dearborn), I can’t help but seem to notice all my great friends taking their potential somewhere stronger. I feel isolated and, as self centered as it sounds, I feel that I did not deserve this rejection from Umich.
Especially now that college comes closer, I know I will feel more put downs when other students I know get into Umich ann arbor or other great colleges in the coming years. I dislike competition so much, yet I find unnecessary standards to compare myself to.

I always feel that when talking to other people about colleges, people will judge me for less than my worth when I say I was rejected from Ann Arbor. I feel like telling them I’m going to a less prestigious campus takes away all the credit and hardworking nature that I developed throughout high school.

I’m sorry that this thread is almost all about me and makes me look very egotistic, but I just wanted everyone’s advice and support on perhaps the benefits of what has occurred to me. Does this undergraduate degree really matter based on which school you go to? What would you tell someone like me? Are my beliefs unrealistic? I think this could support any individual who has been rejected or deferred from colleges of choice.

What if this was meant to happen? Just think - you might not have had that stellar speech content without this experience.

And why do you have to tell people you were ‘rejected’ from UMich AA? Why not just say that you are headed to Dearborn on a great scholarship and looking forward to graduating debt free? Why is it anyone else’s business where you got accepted (or not)?

You sound like a very smart person with great potential. Focus on being the best you can be. You may be the person who takes this experience and does something amazing with it And maybe that’s how it was supposed to be all along!

Have faith that the universe is unfolding as it should.

If Dearborn is somewhat of a “lesser” school, you will have much greater opportunity to shine.

When you go to grad school or get a job, your exact campus will not matter much if at all. In fact anyone perusing your resume quickly will just note “University of Michigan.” Even if they notice “Dearborn,” they may not realize it’s not considered as prestigious as Ann Arbor, they may think you went there because of cost, nearness to home, etc.

What you do there is what will count. So go for the gold! Start a new club! Tutor! Get to know your professors! Get a great GPA! Take advantage of everything offered.

And I agree, no need to tell anyone where you didn’t get in, probably most people won’t even ask. If you are pressed you can just say “I’d rather keep that private.”

If you are unhappy, transfer. Go hard on all of the usual weeder CoE courses at Dearborn and apply to transfer. But beware that many study groups and friendships are made freshman year and you will get a slightly different experience.

If you look at their admission rates, the transfer percentage admitted is pretty high for the # of transfer apps. Of course the transfers are proven a bit in the college track. I’m not sure if it is broken out specifically for CoE elsewhere, but it might be worth digging into how many CoE transfers pop in at end of year 1 or year 2 with all of their weeder courses out of the way?

I transferred into UM as an in-state sophomore though I was not CoE. I was miserable where I was and I never regretted switching to UM.

Good luck.

I feel compelled to post an update as to how I feel currently.

Dearborn is a nice school; the friends make it a great place to go to. Tomorrow, I am undergoing training to be able to air segments of my own music on the radio station run by the university. I am part of a service-based cohort called the Wolverine Leadership Cohort in which there are 14 other very talented and inspiring individuals that I look up to and genuinely admire. The classes are decent as well. I have met three different professors I strongly respect and appreciate, and I have found my go to spots for studying and chilling about.

On the side, I participate in a dance team centered at UofM Ann Arbor’s campus called the Michigan Bhangra team. It is inspiring how kind and accepting those students are of me. I genuinely have fun and spend about 5 hours a week down in Ann Arbor. Everytime I go there, the looming fear of my rejection last summer comes back to me, but I remind myself that I can’t forget what Dearborn has decided to offer me and what I can make of the school if I stay on focus and really get involved. It has been a great time despite me being the only Dearborn student who drives to our practices.

Onto the concerns I have so far. Sometimes, the students at Dearborn make me feel cocky. Yes, I came out of college with good grades, but some students are surprisingly unmotivated. It is more common that people in my groups either refuse to do work or make no mention of it, or they let themselves believe they are really smarter than they are while seemingly not realizing where their faults and limitations lie. In high school, I never found myself being so judgmental because I was lucky enough to be in a group of highly motivated and hard-working individuals who pushed me to perform better. I really wonder still if it makes all the difference if I undergo an education at this university compared to another which may have seemingly more talented students. I also miss the big setting of Ann Arbor, and wish that Dearborn could sometimes offer that as well, but it is a fairly small campus.

These are only small blurbs of how I feel. I am still taking time for my thoughts to develop. Thank you for reading.

I loved your speech. Now embrace it. Look forward, don’t look back. Remember life is a journey not a destination. What you are describing, the self doubt is what makes us all human. Its a struggle, but I think it is also God’s gift to keep us from becoming complacent and resting on our laurels. Whenever this happens to me, I try to think outside myself. What can I do to make things better for someone else, because in the end that’s what really matters. Try that. Aside, our high school has a slide presentation of all those larger than life and where they went to college. For example,Warren Buffett. Look him up. He graduated from his state college, University of Nebraska at Lincoln and was rejected from Harvard Business School. The college doesn’t make you. You make the college. Michigan-Dearborn has selected wisely, now you make them proud! Do something today and every day to fulfill the potential God has entrusted to you. Expect great things from yourself. Start with doing small things with great love. Finally, I’ll leave you with this thought, Does anyone ever question where Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta went to college?

bumpity, bump, bump

@Jasnoor98 : apply to transfer now.
To Umich but also other universities. What have you got to lose? Seriously.
The worst that can happen? You’ll get rejected. It still hurts but you survived. You will survive rejection again. But odds are, you’ll get into a university that’s a better fit.
Beside UMich, apply to Bucknell , Lafayette, UVA, Trinity (TX and CT), UMN twin cities (less good than UMich but better than Dearborn), Columbia Fu, if you’re a young woman Smith.
If you need readersbfor your essays several adults here can help.
Btw:
You’re not being cocky - your stats ARE better and there IS a motivation problem at Dearborn.