<p>my friend used this essay for the common app
its pretty ridic but shes super smart and applying to all ivies, etc
i was wondering if u think this was worth the risk</p>
<p>How special am I, you ask? I pose this question in return: what about my life is not special? I am so special, in fact, that I can hardly contain myself. But for your sake, sitting in your claustrophobic room, reading unquestionably boring essays of other thirteen year olds, Ill try. My exhaustive research led me to all variations of essays- the humorous essay, the melancholy essay- but none seemed to quench my thirsting need for an essay format. And then, like manna from the heavens, there it was. Hugh Gallaghers application for college took the perfect form with which I, too, could truly show all of my accomplishments. So I attempted the same format for my college essay. </p>
<pre><code> I am a well rounded young lady. I have gone to school for twelve yearsincluding summer school. When asked who I admire, Ann Coulter and Jesus come to mind. Personally, I think that Jesus was the coolest cat of the first century. But Ann Coulter is in a league all her own. She may be blonde, but she has overcome the stereotype of being dumb, and has never once written anything stupid or that didnt make any sense whatsoever. Her ability to completely isolate one group of people and make them look so stunningly bad is simply amazing. But lets get back to me.
I have removed a red paint stain from an off-white carpet. I had a hamster who committed suicide, and a cat that only ate her food when she knew that there was oxycontin in it. I was the choreographer for my kindergarten classs production of West Side Bedtime Story. I have been to Florida and New Mexico where I have met Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairywho both look strangely like my father. I know five different ways to defend myself from a Catholic priest and / or Mark Foley. I have shopped on three different continents and I have stayed in the hotel where Eloise lived. I have seen both the movie and Broadway show of The Phantom of the Opera. I taught my grandmother how to whistle. I can make perfectly puffy pancakes. I taught myself to speak monkey, and taught a group of monkeys how to sing like Billy Joel. They now run a privately funded version of Movin Out, but even singing, dancing monkeys cant seem to draw a crowd. I have read all seven books in the Series of Unfortunate Events. I have a phobia of Oompa Loompas, and I have been in and out of therapy for it. I am a wrestling champion of Greenland and Norway. I have defeated Zelda thrice. I can re-route electronic wires so that I can hear television on my phone, and not use my television for any particular purpose. I have been to the set of three different NBC shows, none of which made it past season two. Using only my wit and a perfectly baked chocolate chip cookie, I single handedly took down the school bully. My house was once a hide out and a bed and breakfast for extra terrestrials. I have never lost a game of Yatzhee. I once peed in my pants twice in a single half hour. My family is bigger than Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Ladens families combined. I know all the words to every song on The Backstreet Boys first- and best- album. I have closely followed the dazzling career of Tara Reid. I have recited the pledge of allegiance over 2,100 times. I have discovered the next biggest craze that is sweeping the nation: couscous and watermelon smoothies. I tore down the invisible walls of pain that were blocking communication in my family. My picture has been in the newspaper twice. I declared war on the local hospital, but decided that it might not end too well so I gave up- some would say I cut and ran, but I like to think of it as strategery. I held an intervention for my fish Spanky who didnt listen and died of a heroin overdose, God rest his soul.
Now, I have one final question for you. Knowing all that you know about me now, why wouldnt you want me at you school?
<p>I don't think this essay will be winning any adcom members over, but if she's as qualified as you say then she'll probably get into some good schools based on her merit</p>
<p>i thought it was awesome :P i mean really, it takes a lot of guts to do this for an admissions essay, especially to an ivy, and i found it cool and at times funny :)
its all about the person though.. some may see it as showy and arrogant, while others see it as the daring and funny essay that it is obviously meant to be :D</p>
<p>i like it! but then again, im all for crazy stuff:D</p>
<p>...I don't think it'll win over the admissions people... it's just a long list that doesn't really say anything special...and the drug references are a little odd... it just doesn't look like she's taking the admission process seriously to me...</p>
<p>while this essay is really entertaining it does not get to the point of what the college admissions essay is about. the essay should explain some of the applicants achievements but it should realyy be about where the achievements will take the applicant and about the applicants character. </p>
<p>for example: "i defeated zelda thrice"
what does this contribute to the persona of the applicant? How will this "achievement" help them in school or for life.</p>
<p>I felt as though the writer was trying really, really hard--TOO hard--to come across as witty and funny. The essay sort of rambled on, and honestly, I thought some of the jokes weren't funny at all--they felt kind of forced.</p>
<p>This essay is full of personality...I'm just not convinced that it's true to the author.</p>
<p>It's alright. I mean, it was much more intriguing than many essays I've read, and a few sentences were really cute and clever, but overall, I think it should have made a stronger statement about her character/personality, as a whole. Especially because it was the Common App essay, and not a supplement. And do you have her permission to post her essay on the internet? Because I'd be PO-ed if my friend did that...</p>
<p>Hmm, well, personally, I think it sounds like it was written by a salesman. No offence, and I honestly wish your friend the best of luck, but really, it doesn't convey much of her personality at all - at least, none of the good parts (of which I'm sure she has many).</p>
<p>Do keep us posted on how it goes, though. This is just my opinion, and perhaps some adcoms may have a very different take on it.</p>
<p>This essay is so cocky and unfunny... I can not imagine this person even being considered for admission. (unless this person is applying to U. of chicago that is)</p>
<p>meeeh..... 'And then, like manna from the heavens, there it was. Hugh Gallagher’s application for college took the perfect form with which I, too, could truly show all of my accomplishments. So I attempted the same format for my college essay. ' </p>
<p>i didnt know what that meant before, but i googled it, and i guess it turns out its just a kinda worse rip-off ... im glad she got in to places, and it takes guts to actually do that.. but still... its original, but since she stole the whole idea, its not nearly as cool anymore.. to me at least :P</p>
<p>for those of you who dont know what hugh gallaghers essay is :</p>