<p>boring, nothing special</p>
<p>I’d let her in. She gives credit where it is due to H Gallagher - critical. Read between the lines for the reavals - the mention of teaching grandmother, solving the bully crisis and working on solving her family communication gaps, along with a sense of not taking her self to seriously. If her scores, etc lined up, it beats one more boring essay!</p>
<p>I don’t understand why so many of you took offense at this. I thought it was funny, if a bit uncreative. Certainly every undergrad admissions counselor has also read the Hugh Gallagher essay and knew right where this was going.</p>
<p>It’s exactly like the Gallagher essay, which worked because it was so original. This doesn’t.</p>
<p>well id probably let her in too just because she actually had the balls to do it 
and as long as some of the jokes in it were actually funny, which i think they were in this one :)</p>
<p>but i was saying that the first time i read it, i thought it was inredibly awesome i was super impressed, which you can probably see by my first post… but then when i saw the gallagher one, the whole thing of it being so out there died down a little for me =/
but yea, still a good on imo 
she did well, and as the results show, she did get into a few so :)</p>
<p>This is exactly the kind of thing that *<strong><em>es me off. People write a *</em></strong>*ty essay and they say that it’s great because its so “unique”.</p>
<p>No, it’s not great, this essay is terrible, one of the worst.</p>
<p>You can’t just write random or “risky” things and think that that will get you in. You need to have some element of style or cohesive construction and a central unifying theme.</p>
<p>This essay has none of that, I want my 3 minutes back.</p>
<p>This essay strangely made me feel like someone was making fun of me. Admissions Officers will probably think that the writer is some megalomaniac. No one wants one of those in their college.</p>
<p>^ My sentiments exactly</p>
<p>disagree… i think it would be obvious to admissions officers that it is meant as a joke and to be funny, i think theyll appreciate it</p>
<p>there were parts of the essay that discreetly showed her personality, though the way the sentences were all set in one huge paragraph was not effective. the admissions officer could easily have gotten bored in the middle and not even gotten to the parts that might have made the essay work. also, i think some parts of her introduction are a bit generic to people who write admissions essays hoping to be unique or draw the admissions rep’s attention.</p>
<p>I skimmed, because I thought the essay was a bit too arrogant. I lost interest after the first two sentences. From that moment on, I just skimmed and looked for glimmers of her real personality and not stuff that she did. She went to school for 12 years, yeah, so did every other high school senior in the nation. Space is given to explain what amazing stuff she did in her actual application. The essay as to who she is, is not relative to what she did. If she wanted to make that essay much stronger, she needs to choose one of the things that she talks about in that essay, and how it affected her, what she learned from it, and what she hopes to show people through that new experience. I mean come on, I can tell that this is a genuinely very nice young lady who took some very bad advice and thought she would sound desirable. Try to make the you shine. YOU ARE NOT YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS!! YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS DO NOT DEFINE YOU!! ONLY WHAT YOU LEARN FROM THOSE ACHIEVEMENTS DEFINE YOU!</p>
<p>Personally, I think the attempt at humor in the essay falls kind of flat. Also, it’s interesting that she talks about other thirteen year-olds. I hope there aren’t too many of those applying to college.</p>
<p>IMO, this is essay is awful. It isn’t funny. She says she tries to follow the Gallagher format, but she got it all wrong. I thought the Gallagher essay was funny, because the outrageousness of his claims make it obvious that he is joking, etc. But the unrelated events she describes are doable, so she just comes off as arrogant.
There’s lines and lines of it, but at the end of it, I’m just wondering, SO WHAT? What’s your point?
she was trying to be original, but copying the format of somebody else totally killed it. It seems a little too contrived. Some people are just not witty/humorous and so if you aren’t, you shouldn’t attempt to write a funny essay. I don’t get a sense of who she is. If I was an admissions officer I would NOT be impressed.</p>
<p>i don’t think anyone can best/match hugh using his format, and i wouldn’t have tried to do so if i were her</p>
<p>she completely ripped off another essay. and im sure she isn’t the first person to rip it off again i would think that adcoms would get sick of reading these</p>
<p>Hey brownie, plagiarism is never worth the risk.
[Same</a> lame essay posted elsewhere last September 15](<a href=“http://www.tommyzor.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=104]Same”>http://www.tommyzor.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=104)</p>
<p>…did NOT win me over. </p>
<p>Like someone said, this person is trying too hard to be witty and failing miserably. Unless there is a self-deprecating undertone to this WHOLE thing that I am completely missing, this essay is boring and completely fake. And some of the stuff on there obviously isn’t even true. </p>
<p>I’ve seen a much better essay than this using a similar format. The person also used humorously exaggerated accomplishments, but his was actually funny and showed his personality.</p>
<p>[edit] oh, and apparently plagiarized, too.</p>
<p>Dear author,</p>
<p>This essay is terrible. Please stop copying suck.</p>
<p>By friend you mean yourself, right?</p>
<p>it wasnt tht bad. i had read hugh’s version but still i found this one real interesting and funny i can see why the adcoms wouldnt mind someone with great stats submitting this essay… i can also see why some people are “angry” at the OP because most of us could never get away with a piece like this No offense</p>