Hello, I am applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as an undergrad for the Fall 2016 school year. I was hoping I could get some responses on the my essay.
If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)
In elementary school, we were taught the stories of the legendary explorers Magellan and da Gama. I dreamed about emulating their discoveries. Even now, I have the same dreams, but in a new context. Silver computers replaced the wooden caravels. The endless expanses of ocean was replaced with the unknown. The unknown is how the internet works. How coding works to provide a unique experience to the user. How cloud computing is redefining how companies and school utilize the internet. Duke University would serve as a conduit that allows me to immerse myself in this “unknown”. It would surround me with the proper learning atmosphere and a supportive environment. The internet and the world of computers is the final frontier and I am as anxious as ever to continue to chase my childhood dreams and live up to the legacy of the great explorers who came before me.
Never post your essay online
-You didn’t answer why duke specificly
The problem is you can change Duke out with any other school and your essay would still make sense. Be more specific on how certain resources at Duke can help you achieve your goal.
And what^^^said, never post your essay online. I could copy it right now and put it on my application if I wanted to.
You have a lot of sentence fragments and grammar mistakes. Suggest to run it through slickwrite online checker.
Also your response never really gives a good reason on why Duke is so important to you.
As already noted, you should never post an essay online. But, to be honest but harsh, no one in their right mind would use this as it currently stands. It has 3 major flaws:
- It has nothing specific about Duke.
- It has poor sentence structure.
- It is way too vague and cliche, with the "next frontier" stuff but no specific details of any kind.
I actually think that you could easily turn this into a terrific “why Pratt?” essay, if you took the idea of exploration and made it more specific to Duke, and more detailed. Engineering is not usually thought of as particularly adventurous or creative. But there are some potential opportunities and resources at Pratt which might be appealing to someone who wanting to take this in a more interdisciplinary and/or creative direction. I suggest you look at some some of the following:
- The Duke Immersive Virtual Environment (DIVE). Since you talk about computation and the internet as the "next frontier", the idea of creating unlimited virtual realities as a form of exploration is a natural extension of your theme.
http://virtualreality.duke.edu
- Some of the innovative and interdisciplinary opportunities through Bass Connections, which has a theme on "information, society and culture". There are projects in areas such as Modeling and Simulation and in Machine Society Interfaces.
https://bassconnections.duke.edu/project-teams/information-society-and-culture
- The opportunity to study abroad, or to combine engineering with another major, minor or certificate. More than 27% of Pratt students study abroad.
- Pratt Interdisciplinary Programs (IDEAS).
http://pratt.duke.edu/undergrad/policies/3512
- The NAE Grand Challenges Scholars Program.
http://pratt.duke.edu/undergrad/students/grand-challenge-scholars-program
There are lots of other exciting and creative opportunities. Consider a few of the following as well:
http://pratt.duke.edu/undergrad/students/entrepreneurship
https://nicholas.duke.edu/programs/geospatial-analysis-certificate-program
Take a look at some of these and see if they might potentially interest you, and/or relate to your theme of engineering as exploration.