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[quote]
Once you have sex with someone, you consent to the possible resulting baby
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</p>
<p>So nyuwishabee, let's say me and you were in a relationship/married. I boned some other girl because I was bored and she gets knocked up. Me and you were having sex at the time, so apparently you're responsible too for the kid that resulted from my extracurriculars. Once you flip around male and female, it really highlights how ludicrous the message you proffered is.</p>
<p>I was actually being sarcastic; that's the phrase that pro-lifers always use when talking about sex. That's it's only for babymaking. I don't really know what I was trying to prove except that I don't like pro-lifers.</p>
<p>And raising/loving another man's child is no different from loving an adopted child. I think the man would be a horrible person if he left the kid in this situation.</p>
<p>And raising/loving another man's child is no different from loving an adopted child. I think the man would be a horrible person if he left the kid after being his father figure for several months or years.</p>
<p>You're not getting tricked into loving an adopted child. You're seeking to raise a child that's not biologically yours that will not increase your reproductive potential; you're accepting the circumstances around it.</p>
<p>This is in contrast to being tricked into raising a kid yours; you're under the pretense that the kid is biologically yours and an extension of your lineage. Why would he be a horrible person for not wanting to raise the child of his whore wife and her extramarital lover?</p>
<p>It's then up to the whore wife to track down the correct father. Her child, her deceit, her choice.</p>
<p>Were 3 posts (2 of which say the same thing) really necessary?</p>
<p>Also, I'd like to point out that the father has reason to leave; would you stay with a woman who got pregnant by another man and deceived you for years?</p>
<p>Yeah, I fully understand ditching the wife. But the father should not stop loving the child just because their DNA is not similar. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks like this, maybe spermination is very sacred for men.</p>
<p>And I didn't mean to post three times. I didn't realize that the first one went through.</p>
<p>To original poster:</p>
<p>I am a CC parent and I was pregnant at 22 during my last year of college with my now rising junior DD. I was married at the time but had a 100 mile daily roundtrip commute to my clinicals. I walked for my diploma when she was 20 days old. In an arena of 10,000, I could hear her crying and my breasts filled up with milk and leaked through my gown.</p>
<p>While being pregnant in college is not ideal, it is also not the end of the world. I remember being in class early in college with women with infants who were breastfeeding. Young babies tend to sleep all of the time anyways.</p>
<p>Much of your friend's situation will be affected by several extraneous factors:</p>
<p>First of all, regarding the paternity thing, this is often mandated for child support reasons and may not be optional if they are unmarried at the time of the baby's birth.</p>
<p>Secondly, much of their success or failure will be dependent on the level of support they receive from their families. We go to church with a family whose DD who played D1 volleyball became pregnant her first year away at school and hid the pregnancy from her family (she only gained 12 lbs.) One night, after coming home for the school year in mid-May, she went in and told her dad "I'm sick, I can't stop throwing up." Her dad took her to the hospital and doctor came out after several minutes and said "the baby should be here soon." Dad's response, "what baby?" Her mother was in Florida at the time on the start of her vacation and her response was "well, there's nothing I can do about it now" and claimed to not want to waste her prepaid reservations with cancellation fees so she stayed the full ten days. (Understand why she hid the pregnancy?) The baby was put in foster care for a month while they dealt with a family therapist and got their act together. Adoption was considered but decided against.</p>
<p>Fast forward 4 years, the baby girl is now almost 5, the mother transferred to local flagship and finished her education degree and now works as a teacher. The baby's bio father knows she exists but has never seen her. The mother lived with her parents until graduation from college but now has her own apt.</p>
<p>The most important thing at this point is that the mother and baby are receiving good prenatal care and that she is making good lifestyle choices. The birth of a healthy baby that you can drag around to class with you is completely different than giving birth to a premature baby or one with developmental problems that can be lifelong.</p>
<p>How old is your friend and his gf? How long have they been together? Do the parents know? When is the baby due? How far is she away from her family? All of these things will factor in.</p>
<p>As far as the actual logistics of being pregnant and attending classes, professors deal with this all of the time (more than you may think) especially if they have a large nontraditional student population on campus. They are generally flexible with exams, etc just as they would be with an illness or some other family situation. Many colleges also have daycare centers on campus which can be a huge perk. You can always take a gap semester or LOA. I have a family friend who was pregnant twice during med school.</p>
<p>Obviously if neither is close to graduating but they want to stay together, it would make sense for one of them to transfer. Bonding with the baby is very important and I wouldn't want your friend to miss out on that very special time.</p>
<p>As far as marriage, there is time later for all of that. As others have mentioned, there can be some logistical, financial advantages to being a poor married college couple but considering having a baby and getting married are top level stressors along with death of a spouse and divorce, there's really no need to add more stress to the situation. It's not 1947, even some people my age shack up in lieu of marriage.</p>
<p>Here's a good article from a woman's perspective about being pregnant in college:</p>
<p>Surviving</a> College Pregnant - Associated Content</p>
<p>I wish your friend and his gf luck, the most important thing is that he be supportive of her choices and bond with the baby. No matter what happens with their relationship, that will be his child forever.</p>
<p>"Juno made adoption look so easy, but I've never heard about one so easy in real life."</p>
<p>Juno didn't make adoption look so easy. She wanted to tell herself that it was going to be easy, but in the end she was sad that she was giving up the baby, but she was happy that it was going to go to a woman that can't have children.</p>
<p>Ignoring all that other stuff that I'll be a "whiny woman" about later on,</p>
<p>I thought at the end of Juno, it was all like neither of us wanted to see the baby cause it never felt like it was ours anyway. I think it was always hers. So on. The movie didn't show the girl worrying about the baby growing up and wondering about her biological mother, etc.</p>
<p>"I thought at the end of Juno, it was all like neither of us wanted to see the baby cause it never felt like it was ours anyway. I think it was always hers. So on. The movie didn't show the girl worrying about the baby growing up and wondering about her biological mother, etc."</p>
<p>The movie wasn't about the baby, it was about Juno. Who knows, maybe they will make a Juno 2 and show that.</p>
<p>Would it be possible for either set of parents to take care of the baby while both students finish up their degrees? That's probably what I would propose if I were in this position (as a parent).</p>
<p>I agree with almost every guy on this thread. </p>
<p>Like the Kanye West Song goes </p>
<p>If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup
WE WANT PRENUP!, Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his</p>
<p>About what to do if you find that you are not the biological father of the child:</p>
<p>I believe that this issue is a personal decision and it differs from individual to individual. I will never tolerate cheating, no matter how much I love the woman. It is because trust, honesty and respect for your relationship/marriage are as important as love. The word 'relationship' can be broken down to 'relating'. Relating is important aspect of a relationship which means you relate/express your desires, insecurities to each other.</p>
<p>Cheating is never the fault of only one party. If my wife/gf cheats on me, there must be sth lacking in our relationship. So, it is my fault too. But, she did not trust me enough and respect our relationship enough to relate with me. So, there is no reason why we should be together anymore. Maybe, if we end our marriage/relationship we both could find better partners for us!!</p>
<p>But, I would not abandon my child. Even if I am not his/her biological father, I have loved and taken care of him/her since his/her birth. S/he is mine as much as if not more than his/her biological father. I would settle with my ex-wife with some legal arrangements so that the child has both of us. But, if my ex acts more selfishly, I will not back down from taking the sole legal right of the child on the lack of moral ground of my ex.</p>
<p>Once again, this is a personal decision and it differs between individuals.</p>
<p>very well written Mamadrama....</p>
<p>i didn't really like juno. it kind of made light of a really serious issue in an unrealistic way, and juno's clever little quips were actually just kind of annoying because she was overly conscious of her own witticisms..</p>
<p>"Cheating is never the fault of only one party."</p>
<p>That is ridiculous. Who is at fault if I cheat on my taxes or final exams?</p>
<p>
[quote]
"Cheating is never the fault of only one party."</p>
<p>That is ridiculous. Who is at fault if I cheat on my taxes or final exams?
[/quote]
He was referring to relationships, not taxes or tests.</p>
<p>haha....insomniatic. You and I are talking different things.</p>
<p>I don't know the exact term. Is it misquote? Many newspapers also pick a statment of a celebrity's speech and publish it in the headline. The statement in another context sounds ridiculous. </p>
<p>in imsomniatic's context, mine statement is ridiculous.</p>