I witnessed something like this firsthand. But. My opinion. If BS’s don’t strictly enforce discipline policies the kids will push the boundaries their senior year and it would get out of hand. After all, their parents are not hovering nearby to watch over the kids. The schools have to have some leverage. It is for the sake of the rest of the students that they do enforce these.
All high schools report disciplinary infractions. If they do not then they can get blackballed.
BS’s sternly warn the students, beginning in their junior year, they warn them time and time again until they are blue in the face, that they will be screwed if they break the honor code in their senior year. I’ve seen it, I’ve seen the warnings published in emails, pronounced repeatedly in assemblies, students reminded in class, and every year in a BS of any size there are a handful of students that aren’t allowed to graduate and lose their college admissions. I saw a top student do something like your son, despite intensely-voiced warnings from his friends of what the consequences would be if he was caught, he was caught, and lost his acceptance to the Naval Academy.
@Jimkingwood We know a student who graduated last year and went to beach week with a bunch of graduating seniors and some permissive parents who did not intervene when there was drinking (quite often). Police came by and called them on it several times but did not take action. Things changed on a third visit from the police who had lost their humor about it all. One of the biggest drunks was headed to the USNA so one of the parents took blame and spent the night in jail in order to protect the graduate from losing his appointment. Hmmmm.
@dowzerw what I think I’d call irresponsible parenting… both on the drinking part and the jail part. That’s just wrong: the kid was drinking, he knew what was at stake.
@karen0 There’s usually a school a rung to two down that will take a student whose admissions elsewhere was rescinded (can happen for grades as well). College counseling can help with this. And then there is always the option of taking a year off and reapplying.
It is the same kid, and it was not long after the concussion. He was on modified academics (no tests) as he tried to recover. That said, no way to be sure the two are related. He may have just been an idiot teenager. We did try in our appeal to the school to point out that he was concussed, not well supervised, off campus, etc. but the Head’s opinion was that there were several decision points where he could have done the right thing and didn’t, he did break a major school rule, and it was against the law. I don’t know that I would do any different in her position.
I would like to think the BS are also protecting the kids from consequences that can affect them either further in life. Many seniors are 18 and the things they do can have everlasting effects. Their records will not be expunged. If they are caught by the authorities in some cases this could be a felony offense. Forget about college applications, try filling out a job application at 25 and having to answer that you were convicted of a crime. I know of a young adult who did not disclose something on a job application and after a background check had to be dismissed from a job because they lied on the application. Would they have gotten the job in the first place by disclosing a drug offense, who knows? Many jobs now require criminal background checks. I would be severely disappointed if BS turned their eyes on behavior that could impact someones entire future. Also keep in mind if a group of seniors are caught doing something the consequences for the 17 year old students and 18 year old students could be very different.
Slightly off topic…DD’s public school has a mandatory assembly for seniors called (something like) Now That You Are 18 where they talk about registering to vote but also discuss the laws and what changes at 18. Do BS have something like that?
@suzyq7, in New Hampshire, home to Exeter, St. Paul’s, Holderness, KUA, Proctor and many more, possession of more than an ounce of pot is a felony. Selling, trading or giving any amount of marijuana is also a felony. In other words if you get caught with a joint it’s a misdemeanor, but if you get caught giving your friend a joint it’s a felony.
Actually, in NH, the possession of ANY amount is a misdemeanor (plus possible jail time though unlikely to happen). If you sell more than 1 ounce (or intent to sell), it is a felony. But, yes, it is more strict than surrounding states.
But its a misdemeanor (at worst, in the toughest state-NH). Not a felony. Not something that will be on job applications in 20 years. A first offence should not be reported to colleges by BS.
Remember, we are not talking about a student who was dealing, selling etc.
AZ has stricter laws and any amount can turn into a felony. I don’t want to debate laws by state. All I was trying to say is consequences are more severe, and could carry into the future for seniors who are 18. If an 18 year old brings some weed and shares it with his 17 year old classmates and they are all caught the consequences could be different from a legal standpoint for the 18 year old. Don’t think too that the parents of the 17 year old’s won’t try to get their kids off lighter by saying it was the 18 year old who brought the weed. Once your students turn 18, they are adults, and the attitude that this is just kids being kids doesn’t always go over as well.
While the rule varies from state to state, criminal responsibility often attaches at the age of 16. Most states have some type of record sealing that prevents it from being held against them the rest of their life. Don’t spend too much time worrying about a couple joints ruining someone’s life forever. Now, if they bring a pound of Acapulco Gold back from spring break they may have a problem, but even that isn’t a certainty (i’m looking at you, Choate). A clean record and good lawyering will go a long way.
@carpoolingma I have not heard of a program like that in any public, private or boarding percentage but have thought for years that we should update our curricula universally for just that reason. I don’t know who decided what should or should not be taught in schools but we definitely should be offering a course in being a grown up. Doesnt seem fair to expect them to know things without teaching them. EVERYONE needs to know "grown up stuff " but how many really need to know obscure geometric theorems? Your kid/s lucky to have that taught at their school.