<p>Throughout my whole life, like many other kids around the country, I've always made my expectations for myself too high. From athletics to academics to ECs I always have to push myself until I feel like I'm close to being good enough. However, the problem with this is that sometimes I push myself too hard, and I think that's because I feel that the adults that surround me expect more than I can exert. I find that I'm stressed out all the time and ultimately become really sad at the end of each day because I feel that no matter how well I do I am still underperforming. I've gotten to the point where I feel that I am dissapointing everyone even when I get praised. I don't really know what to do with myself. I've had problems with this in the past and have gone to therapy multiple times for depressive and suicidal thoughts but I no longer feel that this is going to help. I'm starting to believe that I will never be good enough for myself or society and that therapy or medicine will never be the answer. If there is a student out there who has advice on how I can stop myself from being so sad and feeling so horrible I would greatly appreciate it. I really do want to be confident in my efforts and just be happy. I don't want to feel like I'll never be good enough anymore.
(P.S Just so you have a background on the my day to day life I am in several AP classes have a 3.8 unweighted GPA play 3 varsity sports while managing another and participate in over 8 clubs while also playing a club sport year 4 days a week round)</p>
<p>No one’s perfect. Everyone’s better than someone else and not as good as someone else. That’s life. </p>
<p>I think a lot of people create these expectations for themselves that aren’t really there. Fake would be too harsh of a word, but it’s the closest to what I can think of. There’s definitely pressure there from society, to an extent, but I many people think they have to do x, y, and z, but they don’t. Not if they don’t want to. </p>
<p>Do what you want, take classes you want to take, and enjoy life. Okay, you didn’t do something amazing. So what? You lived another day, that’s pretty cool. There’s a beautiful sunrise out there, that’s pretty cool. Find the little things to enjoy. That’s the real goal: find something ordinary and enjoy it. People always say that it’s not that simple. But it really is. Work hard, but take time to relax. You’re probably not benefiting yourself anymore by working non-stop around the clock to achieve these goals you and society has for you. </p>
<p>How I deal with stress:
- Think of the worst possible thing that could happen.
- Assume it will happen.
- Sketch out a plan for how I will go on to be happy and successful in spite of it. </p>
<p>I mean, so what if you’re below average? You aren’t, but what if you were? Would the world end? Would happiness be unattainable? </p>
<p>I can totally relate. My academic course load is similar to yours and my ECs also take up a large chunk of my time. For the longest time, I used to bury myself in my work and even if I would be satisfied (that too, only once in a while) with my output, it always seemed like there was something else I could do. Just last week, one of my AP teachers was saying that she expected me to to get the highest score on the exam out of all the kids taking the course. How can you let someone down like that? I felt slightly guilty that I hadn’t focused as much I could’ve simply because I was playing tennis, my favorite activity. </p>
<p>The key to fixing it all: slow down and focus on you. One of my classmates once announced that the reason she hates high school is because we, as students, are expected to be good at everything, which just isn’t possible. So you have to draw the line and start doing things for yourself first. If you can’t help yourself, you can’t really help anyone. </p>
<p>Advice: Take some time off from everything to think. Do it in the next few days/ weeks too. Figure out WHAT you want from your life (and I don’t mean like nit-picky details. Is your primary goal in life to be influential, successful, etc.?). Then figure out HOW you want to get it. And then get rid of anything that doesn’t fit that goal. Yeah, you will be disappointing people along the way. But if you’re disappointed, it’s going to wind up doing more damage not only to you, but to everyone around you. </p>
<p>One of my friends tells me “You can’t win them all.” And he’s right, you really can’t. And you shouldn’t try either. Take a deep breath and don’t let it get to your head. Feel free to PM me if you wanna talk more =)</p>
<p>Ive just had to come to the realization that I cant help it if I disappoint people, because ultimately their attitude is not under my control. Instead, I do stuff that makes me happy and just enjoy life. Sure im not the best, but its okay because im having fun even in my own mediocrity.</p>
<p>And id just like to say that I used to be super depressed, stressed, and bordering suicidal for similar reasons as well, and im currently enjoying a mostly stress free and happyish life 
there is hope.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear that you are feeling so overwhelmed. You sound like a great kid, with a lot of things to be proud of. It stinks that you feel so undervalued. You are worth more than the sum total of your grades and awards!!</p>
<p>My two cents: You can’t please everyone, all the time, so try to let go of that as an ideal. The sooner the better! Try to get in touch with what is truely important to you and put your energy into obtaining that. Sure, there are stepping stones along that path that are difficult or that don’t seem immediately helpful (like taking Calculus when you want to be an art major), but it is easier to stay motivated and focused when you have a clear and meaningful goal in mind. Your parents, teachers, etc. have their own lives and make their own choices. You are not responsible for their happiness and vice versa! They can choose to be disappointed by your choices/actions or suppport them. And even if they are temporarily disappointed, I can positively assure you that a little disappointment is far easier to cope with than having a child commit suicide. So, please take care of yourself and worry less about what other people think or want. </p>
<p>I’d give a philosophical answer of great significance, but I’m tired, and you, OP, need a message, not a transcendentalist thesis.</p>
<p>Your stress comes as a result of your perceived values in the world. </p>
<p>Always remember that it is your values, you, and your happiness that should ultimately make your decisions. Sure, that means you can always factor in your impact on others, but always remember that you create the situations of perception that you face.</p>
<p>I had a similar problem my junior year. While I was only taking 2 Ap’s, which is well below normal, I was struggling like crazy. I was diagnosed with depression and even with working my butt of, barely got Bs in APUSH and English. Got a B- in calc and C+ in physics. I am in 8 music ensembles plus dance so I didn’t have much extra time. Just know it does get better and you will make it through. Next year im attending college on a full tuition scholarship</p>
<p>What therapy styles have you tried, OP?</p>