The following is mostly sarcasm, but I think it reflects the kinds of advice kids are given.
There’s a lot of merit in the original list @TiggyB62 posted, but there are issues, too.
Be your true, authentic self. Do not try to be someone who you are not or someone you think adcoms want to see. **Of course, if your true, authentic self has no interest in taking challenging classes and is not a curious and engaged learner, this does not apply. **
Take a challenging course load of classes but also add some classes that interest you, like pottery, or web design, or creative writing (even though they aren't Honors or Advanced level). Don't be a grade-grubber. **But remember that your GPA is one of the most important criteria for college admission.**
AP classes: D1 took 6 and D2 took 9. I'm not saying that's too few or too many. Look at what your HS offers and if your D would be recommended for taking them. If yes, then go for it! **Of course, you should only be taking APs that interest you, but you had better take approximately the same number of them that other top students at your school take, so make sure you're interested in that many subjects.**
Learn to write well.
Be a curious and engaged learner. **Unless, of course, this isn't what your true, authentic self is like.**
You don't have to be involved in multitudes of ECs. Get involved in what interests you.**Unless, of course, the only thing that interests you is watching cat videos on YouTube.**
" 8th grade D is a sweet" - 8th graders talking college? Next, we will hear that kindergartners under stress about college applications…It is almost funny…Don’t 8th grader has enough on her plate to simply survive harsh social environment of the middle school? Oh, boy, I would not even want to go back to these memories, I am not sure if my kid was aware what college means at all in 8th grade (I mean as a vocabulary word). I guess, time is changing rapidly.
However, I have to attest that without any knowledge of anything connected to college or having any thought about it, my kid simply was having straight As at the rigorous middle school / HS and was engaged in everything else in a world without any hesitations or calculations. I do not think that she knew what “stress” means either besides the one that was normal stressful social life of the most kids in the middle school. My gosh, HS was such a relief in comparison, it seemed that kids just mature in that one summer between middle school and HS. HS social life was a bliss!!
Marian, I know kids who really and truly are only interested in taking selfies and watching cat videos on YouTube. Why does that kid have to get shoved into five leadership activities, get tutored in AP chem, and spend summers grinding away at a college admissions “boot camp” program?
In my observation it doesn’t work. That kid ends up at Hofstra or Adelphi, and all of the angst in the world isn’t turning the kid into a happy camper at U Chicago.
I feel for the kid… but not the parents who have to live with the mess they have created.
blossom, I think the problem is with kids who have the ability but not the motivation in middle school or high school but for whom motivation might kick in at some point in the future – and then the kid would regret being at Hofstra.
There are also kids who take the “curious and engaged learner” stuff so seriously that they feel that it’s inappropriate to try hard in courses they don’t like. I think this is counterproductive.
Actually, humane society is VERY political. For example, many people, working at humane society are against any animal experiments. For a future doctor this mindset may be very toxic. 20 years ago PETA activists vandalized houses of faculty who dared to publish experiments that involved monkey. That was scary!
Because it is your kid. Ok, luckily, it is not MY kid, it is my niece. Still, I can’t send her back in time and replace her for a different niece. Yet, I keep pushing her, and pushing, and pushing. Actually, it is getting better. Some kids mature later.
<1. Be your true, authentic self. Do not try to be someone who you are not or someone you think adcoms want to see. Of course, if your true, authentic self has no interest in taking challenging classes and is not a curious and engaged learner, this does not apply.
2. Take a challenging course load of classes but also add some classes that interest you, like pottery, or web design, or creative writing (even though they aren’t Honors or Advanced level). Don’t be a grade-grubber. But remember that your GPA is one of the most important criteria for college admission.
3. AP classes: D1 took 6 and D2 took 9. I’m not saying that’s too few or too many. Look at what your HS offers and if your D would be recommended for taking them. If yes, then go for it! Of course, you should only be taking APs that interest you, but you had better take approximately the same number of them that other top students at your school take, so make sure you’re interested in that many subjects.
4. Learn to write well.
5. Be a curious and engaged learner. Unless, of course, this isn’t what your true, authentic self is like.
6. You don’t have to be involved in multitudes of ECs. Get involved in what interests you. Unless, of course, the only thing that interests you is watching cat videos on YouTube.
7. Everything will work out. Don’t stress>
There is a fine line between doing your best and killIng yourself doing APs. My kid’s high school set up such that she can naturally take 9-10 APs by the end of senior year, without killing herself. She played one musical, one sport and had plenty of time for other ECs that are not great, but not completely a non activity. She had enough to fill out the 5 activities in the Common App.
And anyone who volunteers at a humane shelter does it so often that they cannot think outside the box on this issue, which people talk about constantly?
If you talk to people, you will find some that feel that cops are the biggest menace to black people that there are, that Obamacare is the world’s best idea, and that gun legislation is the answer to the mass shootings. You will also find some that feel the cops-vs-unarmed black people incidents are isolated and overblown by the media, Obamacare is socialized medicine and is a horrible law, and that gun legislation will make no difference in the number of mass shootings. All of this might affect a future politician, thus a future politician cannot talk to anyone.
And how great it would be if HS kids were exposed to ideas which weren’t being espoused at home… and actually had to use some critical thinking skills to decide where they stand on an issue…
My kids learned a lot by volunteering at the senior center. That’s why you nudge them to volunteer. A few kids generally want to save the world, but most discover what I learned when I was in high school the volunteer gets at least as much out of the experience as the person/outfit they are supposed to be helping.
Because it is your kid. Ok, luckily, it is not MY kid, it is my niece. Still, I can’t send her back in time and replace her for a different niece. Yet, I keep pushing her, and pushing, and pushing. Actually, it is getting better. Some kids mature later.>>
Why? Why do you keep pushing her? Surely you’re not so unsophisticated that you think the entire Goal in Life is to attend HYPSM.
Everyone probably has a subconscious idea of a “center,” or average performing kid. You then evaluate each of your children individually against that standard to decide whether they need pushing, hands-off, or encouragement to slow down and smell the roses. That’s what I learned anyway from having three kids.
Romani-- You should indeed warn your physician friends doing animal rescue!
If spouse hadn’t done medical school loan repayment in an underserved rural area without animal services (hard to believe towns and counties with nowhere to bring a stray dog still exist in America today), we might have the cash to send kiddos to super-expensive colleges … well, not quite … but we did spend tens of thousands on dog rescue in rural Arkansas that sure would be nice to have, with interest, in 5 years when D starts college.
If we hadn’t done dog rescue and just shot stray dogs – per the county employee’s recommendation and local custom – we’d have been exposed to even fewer examples of better things to do with money than spend half a million on two kids’ undergrad degrees. So, yeah, warn your friends now. (Incidentally, we were the only doctors’ family who lifted a finger to help – pulling the trigger or driving strays away from one’s home and dumping them out don’t count as help in our eyes. I don’t know where your friends live, but if they have student loan debt and would move to rural Arkansas, I can recommend some places they are sorely needed! Over 7 years, between direct help and indirect financial support, we helped hundreds of dogs and puppies get vet care and homes. It’s just incredible what need there is.)
As for animal rescue being a “liberal” cause, I’m glad everyone agrees it’s really a bipartisan concern. When we lived in rural Arkansas, we had a tiny volunteer network very much across the political spectrum.
We’ve digressed off topic a bit, but I think weighing the good of attending the best college one can get into versus what else can be done with large sums of money and a student’s time are at the heart of my post. Apparently, the latter is less of a concern than I was worried about if a child has a demonstrable “passion,” or at least intense and sustained curiosity.
And now it’s just money versus opportunity left in my mind: IF one or both of my kids dream of a Harvard medical school or Yale law (I seriously doubt it, but IF), then have we hobbled them for life by sending them to University of Arkansas? It’s not exactly UVA or Ann Arbor or UCSF. Some have told me they went to similarly low-ranked undergrad schools and really distinguished themselves, ending up in top PhD programs. But how common that is, I don’t know.
Completely off topic, but as someone who is passionate about rescue and has dedicated a large portion of my life to it, I can’t thank you enough for your support of the cause (whatever your politics!) Still staying off topic, but on the same vein, we just put in an application with our local rescue to do a meet and greet with what will (hopefully) be our next furbaby. She was a stray found in Detroit and is absolutely beautiful.
Now back on topic, I can’t answer your question about medical school but for PhD programs, my PhD friends come from every “level” of undergraduate institution you can imagine. It is far more important WHAT you do there than what it is called.
Best of luck whatever you decide to do. Like I’ve said before, your D sounds like a very bright, driven child. I hope she takes time to enjoy high school and I have no doubt she’ll go far whatever she does.
