Private vs Public

I am currently a freshman at a private Christian high school. I am considering transferring to a public school, but am worried if there will be more bullying and I’m also worried I won’t be able to make friends. I’ve grown up in private school my whole life and don’t really want to be in it anymore. I ask people if I should transfer and I get people who say yes and no.

What do your parents say? Why do you want to transfer? What are the public schools like in your area?

My parents are fine with it. I want to transfer because there are just too many cliques and I feel like aren’t very good at teaching. The district is a lot smaller than other districts around me.

There are a lot of things I like about public schools. One being that it is more of a typical profile of real life. There is a little bit of everything - all types of people. That is the world you will live in so I say, learn how to navigate it now. It will be different than your Christian school and some things might even be a little off putting or uncomfortable. If you can relax and focus on yourself and your own needs, it could be fine. As far as making friends…smile, be kind, join a club or activity and be yourself. Good luck with your decision.

I teach in a Catholic high school; my 3 kids have all attended local public schools.

Here’s a huge generality: kids are kids are kids. I think you’ll find that cliques exist in both types of schools. The funny thing is that when you’re in one, you don’t see it as a clique; you see it as a group of friends.

As to bullying, I think it too exists in both schools. The difference is that private schools have the option of expelling someone who crosses whatever line they choose to draw; public schools don’t have that option. But in this day and age, schools tend to have their hands tied. So much of the bullying takes place via phone and social media, from home and not school. So it’s hard for schools to handle, since some claim it’s not a school issue.

But if you’re having an issue with bullying, then getting away from the tormentors is certainly one option. You could change your phone number and social media presence once you transfer Bullies tend to be lazy; they won’t usually go to that much effort to bully someone.

As to making friends, a fresh start certainly give you fresh opportunities. But my question is this: what would you do differently in public school? If you do the same things you did in Christian school, I fear that the results would be the same. So how do you think you can broaden your friend base in a new school? What activities would you join, how could you be proactive about changing things?

As to teaching, I think you’ll find that both good and bad teachers exist in every school. In fact, in my current Junior class, i have probably 28 kids who think I’m a pretty good teacher-- and 3 who think I’m awful. The kids who do well tend to love my class, the kid with 49 absences thinks I’m a awful teacher.

So, in summary: a fresh start might be exactly what you need. But it doesn’t come with any guarantees. I think there will still be friend groups you may not fit into, there will still be some extremely unpleasant kids, there will still be some teachers who simply can’t reach you or match your learning style. What will make this change a success will very likely be the changes you choose to make in your approach.

The best of luck in your decision!

You may have more options in a public school…more class options, club options etc

Totally depends on your district. My D did the opposite, left public for private catholic in HS. She had a much better experience with her private HS but again, it totally depends on the school itself. Super hard to make any kind of generalizations.