<p>So I've been in college a month and I haven't really made any close friends</p>
<p>I've made plenty of acquaintances people always say hi to me in the halls, we might stop and have a conversation from time to time, I might eat dinner with them like once -twice a week</p>
<p>Most people I've meet are friends of my roommate
( half her High school goes to college with her, she has family here and introduces me to all her sorority friends) but its gotten to the point where I feel like people think I'm her "shadow" and they're only nice to me because of her</p>
<p>Just this weekend some guy pretty sure I know who it is "one of my roommates friends" was at my door talking crap about me at 12 am in the morning because he grew some balls while he was drunk and decided to come be obnoxious at my door and try to take down my name off the door "inferring that I'm not important and my roommate is"
Some guy "another guy I know" stopped him when he seen what he was doing</p>
<p>I was just listening as it was happening the whole time I was going to go out and say something but because I live in an LLC living learning community I didn't want to be the one to break the peace on the floor</p>
<p>I think me and my roommate spend a lot of time together" We eat together, live together, party together" but I'm there because she wants me to be there and of course I want to be a good roommate but I also want to go out and make friends of my own
&
When I am on my own and socializing she always joins in (uninvited)
"Because she's really social and likes being in the center of attention"(her words not mine)</p>
<p>I have joined some organizations and made some friends but we don't hang out a lot outside of the club like I have their numbers but I don't want to feel like I'm imposing or being to foward if I like try to get us to hang out outside of the club but I know some of the people I've met have like similar friend issues like I do "minus the roommate situation" that's why they joined to meet people</p>
<p>I'm not sure how to improve my college friend situation "any suggestions"?</p>
<p>I know it’s not that helpful, but give it time. It sounds like you’re on the right track, but it really does take some people longer to get settled in college than others. I had OK friends all freshman fall, like you, but only in March of freshman year did I meet the first person I’m still close with and going to be close with for years.</p>
<p>Further thoughts with numbers:
Texting people, “Hey, want to grab lunch?” usually is not a bad idea if most of you have meal plans. Don’t be afraid of doing that with people in your organizations; good first step.
Getting dinner with people 1-2 times a week can turn into a close friendship if you do it over a long enough period of time.
It sounds like your roommate generally does like you and want you around, so I wouldn’t be too afraid of the “shadow” thing. That one guy’s a jerk.
But she sounds annoying if she intrudes too much on your attempts to make outside friends.
4b. But don’t worry about it too much; she sounds like a charming but slightly desperate-for-attention person, and a lot of the people you find may not find the slight smell of desperation attractive.
Does she follow you? Maybe just try not telling her where you’re going. Pretending not to see text messages right away can be handy. 6. Again, making close friends takes time. A month is very little time in the scheme of the world. Your roommate has more of a social network because of her high school friends and because she’s in a sorority. That doesn’t means she’s made new, close friends in a month. Or maybe she has; my impression is that 30-40% of college students without classmates from high school have found their good friends by the end of the first month. The majority, like you and me, sift around for a little longer before they’re set.</p>
<p>Making friends, fake or close, can’t be an active effort . It has to be passive . Like I’ve accepted that some people don’t like me . On the other hand some people do enjoy my company . </p>
<p>I went though this in 10th grade, for some reason just relaxing about it fixes everything …</p>
<p>Don’t worry I made friends
Well new friends that I actually like…!
I guess I’m just a slow adjuster but its happening slowly </p>
<p>@Nately You sound just as shallow as them
I have no interest in making friends with a bunch of ****** bag frat boys who only want to get me drunk </p>
<p>“Okay well not all of them are ******s some of them are really sweet but you get the point”</p>
<p>Same boat here. Granted, I’m married and have a child, so I’m unlike many my age. But most people I’ve talked to at my college didn’t even know about that. I’ve always been awkward socially, so eh. I’ve been in college for 2 years and can’t say I’ve made a single friend.</p>
<p>I have the same problem! granted I’m a transfer student and been here about a month. Have a lot of acquaintances, no close friends yet. and unlike you and your roommate mine and me don’t do everything together.</p>