Profoundly Gifted

Prep School Admissions Prep School Cafe
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<p>This whole debate, triggered by one liner post, seems absurd and has gone out of proportion.</p>

<p>Regardless of word origin, in English language, “gifted” is defined as “endowed with great natural ability, intelligence, or talent.” This may not be palatable to some people, but that’s how it’s defined in dictionaries, and that’s how many federal and state authorities define it. So until someone comes up with a less “pretentious” word that can be widely accepted, you just go with it. Or you can invent your own terms such as “aberrantly intelligent” but good luck if you try to define it on the spot with your school district coordinators when there are tons of other demanding issues on the table. </p>

<p>I use the word “gifted” with school administrators and teachers but avoid using it in the presence of my neighbors or friends. Not that I feel shame about it. But because they already know. They know from their experience observing my child. There’s nothing wrong about being gifted. The fact that my child is gifted doesn’t make other children inferior or less worthy. They are just different. They are endowed with different qualities that can be appreciated in different ways and developed to benefit themselves and community. When you have a one-dimensional value system, you’re either good or not good at something and consequently you may feel elated or miserable. But many of us have a multi-dimensional value system, and when you are not good at one thing, you may be great at another. Believe me, I envy other parents for the qualities their children possess but mine doesn’t.</p>

<p>People become pretentious or look like an elitist when they keep bring it up in a conversation without no good reason. And when they try to gain unwarranted advantages just because of being gifted. </p>

<p>FYI, the number one reason that gifted and talented programs don’t get as much support as they deserve is because of misconception that, to quote girlgeekmom, “gifted kids will be okay no matter what.” Or the cream always rises to the top. Unfortunately, this is hardly true. In fact, many gifted children grow up to become average or below-average achievers, even following non-gifted standards. They have great potentials but they still need to be properly nourished before they can lead fulfilling lives. And our society has been doing a lousy job on that.</p>

<p>There is a drive to petition the White House to support a federal legislation for gifted education, but as you can see it [url="&lt;a href="The White House]here[/url</a>], the number of signatures is far below what’s needed. (Please show your support!)</p>

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<p>Thank you Sharing, for sharing!</p>

<p>+1 on your comment that, “I use the word “gifted” with school administrators and teachers but avoid using it in the presence of my neighbors or friends. Not that I feel shame about it. But because they already know. They know from their experience observing my child. There’s nothing wrong about being gifted. The fact that my child is gifted doesn’t make other children inferior or less worthy. They are just different.”</p>

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<p>Thank You Sharing!</p>

<p>Perfectly articulated what I was trying to say. You have a lot more experience in this arena than I and I appreciate your view. Very well said.</p>

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<p>I am not surprised that this thread has wandered off the trail, and I apologize for this. However, my question pertained to “younger than average 9th grader” entering BS…children who are 2+ years accelerated in PS or home school. So far no one has addressed this issue, so I am concluding that there are not any.</p>

<p>I am requesting that the Moderators close this thread. We will just pretend that there are no children with 160+ ‘the two letter abbreviation.’</p>

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<p>@granny: Sorry but we digressed. But that’s I guess what “cafe” is for:-)</p>

<p>Seriously, I’m not sure if there is any age restriction on entering ninth grade. Obviously one has to finish eight grade though, regardless of age. Looks like girlgeek appears to be younger than her peers’ age at BS. And I’m sure there would be more students like her at BS. But I guess BS administrators might be concerned if an entering student is too young compared to his/her cohort, for reasons related to disparities in physical development and social relations. If you’re serious about this and have a contact at an organization like Davidson, you could inquire and get this information.</p>

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<p>Unfortunately, this is what often happens on CC to threads about high IQ/PG or whatever you want to call them kids. It degenerates into an “but all kids are special” discussion… :frowning: I have a PG daughter, but she has not attended boarding school. We sent her to an independent private school in our area. It has not been without bumps, and I would say she has not been challenged to her full capacity. If your kid has the social maturity for it, I would say BS could be a very good option. </p>

<p>If anyone is interested in Davidson’s THINK summer program, PM me. It was a GREAT experience for my D, who attended for two summers.</p>

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<p>@intparent: I was half-intrigued by the THINK summer camp but my D would have to fly to NV alone (I’m on the east coast), and the topics were somewhat similar to CTY intensive programs, which is within a short driving distance. How was it in general? How would you compare it to CTY, if by any chance your D had any exposure to both?</p>

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<p>Interesting conversation. Both of my kids (now college graduates) are high IQ, with my Dd in the PG camp. Her principal in middle school referred to kids like her as “severely gifted,” as sort of a tongue- in-cheek recognition that things were not always smooth sailing for them even though their academics came easily. I tend to use the term “academically gifted” when talking about people (and it’s not just children) who have exceptional cognitive abilities. I’ve found that other parents are rarely offended when I have qualified my daughter’s abilities in this way, as it really is more accurate and doesn’t diminish their own children’s talents. Doing so also makes clear that I see her talents as a part of who she is, just like someone who may be musically gifted or athletically gifted- not some all-encompassing superior attribute. </p>

<p>There’s no question that academically gifted kids have special needs that most educational settings just don’t address. Parents have to scramble to find adequate learning situations which can be complicated by social immaturity or other learning difficulties. It’s not an easy road, and anyone who thinks that the gifted don’t need accommodating because they will take care of themselves has little understanding of learning differences. I’m glad that this forum provides a networking opportunity for all parents, and it’s not a surprise that those with kids on the upper end of the cognitive spectrum would look to one another for advice. Nothing pretentious about it.</p>

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<p>Also for anyone who stumbles on this thread, DITD (the Davidson Institute) has a forum that is open to the public, on which many of the questions about skipping, etc. are discussed or can be asked.</p>

<p>Sharing is right, GG is between 1 - 2 1/2 years younger than almost all her classmates. There was one other 13-year old, from what I understand, who turned 14 this term. GG will turn 14 three weeks before the end of her freshman year. Some of the foreign students are older, in part because of the way their school systems operate. So there is quite a handful of 15-year-olds, as well, who will be turning 16 some time before their sophomore year.</p>

<p>FWIW, many schools have more skipped kids than GG’s—PEA comes to mind. GG would have had more same-age peers had she chosen to attend PEA (though that might be different from year to year). SOME schools do NOT like to take skipped kids, for reasons of “maturity,” no matter how PG (PA and Choate come to mind, though the info was anecdotal. Certainly our PA AO spent what GG felt was an inordinate amount of time asking whether she would miss home, parents, etc.), but others seem to accept it fairly readily. </p>

<p>Also, Sharing noted: “Obviously one has to finish eight grade though, regardless of age.” — I am not so sure about that. I recall that the Hotchkiss application, and possibly one or two others, had a checkbox for “7th” in the “current grade” section. So whether it is routine or not, I’d hazard a guess that the <em>occasional</em> kid “skips into” 9th grade. The schools I’m thinking of did not have an 8th grade. But maybe they just want to vet out? Perhaps someone on this forum has more info.</p>

<p>One of the things that was suggested to me by DITD parents was that overemphasis by a parent regarding his or her child’s giftedness was sometimes seen as a sign of “helicoptering.” In our case, we shared certain information with only one school, because we’d heard through the grapevine that it would be seen as a plus. In all other cases, we let the application packet, and GG, do the talking.</p>

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<p>We have a DYS kid and spent the last two years thinking we’d move to Reno, but now are leaning more towards a BS. A few questions for DYS parents here: (1) Do you think being in the YS program had any impact on admissions? (2) Did you homeschool your DYS kid before applying to BS, if so, how did that impact the application process?</p>

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<p>Gravity, I am sending you a PM on the subject.</p>

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<p>@gravitycat</p>

<p>DYS status probably won’t affect admission either way. Intelligence is likely to shine through SSAT, GPA, EC, etc. One AO we met didn’t have any clue about the Davidson Institute. He was like, was it a program run by Davidson College?</p>

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<p>Yes, awareness of DITD definitely varies, which is another reason we avoided mention of it upfront. We did make brief reference in our parent statement, figuring any adcomm member who cared to could look it up. One of the things we stressed was that we didn’t want GG’s hs career to be “about” giftedness, thus the search for a bigger pond than what was avaialable at home. We also were very careful about not appearing (or, in fact, being) too “precious” about giftedness (on apps and in life ;-)).</p>

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<p>For those interested I thought I would update on my youngest (age 8) I did have him privately tested. He scored 152 on the WISC IV, which put him right on the defining line of EG and PG on that specific test. </p>

<p>He is now applying to the Mirman School in LA. From the PS front, he is in line to get tested by the school district, hopefully by this spring. (After much nagging on my part) I was able to get him on the schedule. From what I have read, our school district has 3 HG Magnets with good reputations and no waiting lists for those who qualify.</p>

<p>On a personal note, he is doing much better in school. I see that it has given him peace of mind that adults now understand him (parents & teachers), he is less frustrated. After speaking at length with the psychologist, our family has learned to communicate with him on his level (rather than assume he communicates and thinks like his age peer group) which I can feel and see has made a huge impact on his overall happiness.
I do hope he gets into Mirman since they provide so much support for parents of HG, EG and PG kids including monthly parenting classes.</p>

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<p>Hailu, I think you nailed it! As often it’s the parents who need support as much as the PGlets (or HG or EGlets)… and for many of those children, the validation that comes from knowing that someone now has an inkling about them helps tremendously with in-school attitude and behaviour (though it’s not a cure-all, by any means).</p>

<p>Best of luck to you and your family as you navigate these new waters.</p>

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<p>Hailu, My son attended Mirman from 6th to 8th grade. He loved the school and thrived well. Our family was truly convinced that it was the best educational decision we made for him. Best of luck to you and your family.</p>

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<p>Bijin22</p>

<p>Thank you! Our fingers are crossed he gets accepted :)</p>

<p>Great to her personal feed back on Mirman.</p>

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<p>I wish I knew about these things. I remember reading chapter books before Kindergarten. I memorized books in all sorts of languages. I felt like my brother understood me since he taught me variable Algebra in first grade. Unfortunately, my parents came from a third world country into the US and we were just trying to scrape by. My school had me in a pullout language and math program, but it never felt quite as right as when my brother was teaching me math. I was in a “gifted” program for kids who tested IQ’s higher than 130~. I LOVED that program so much and I still send Christmas cards to my teacher. At the time, the testing was so weird. Every single student took turns going into a room with a teacher and drawing shapes and stuff. I thought it was fun and I remember taking an envelope home to my mom with the scores. She didn’t speak English and my brother didn’t either. I attended the program 3 times a week for a few hours. My school did what they could, but as soon as I left my elementary school, everything went down hill. I was… awkward? I couldn’t seem to make friends in middle school and just didn’t connect. I failed my advanced math class with an F and turned to pranking. I superglued all my teacher’s stuff to his desk and pennies on the floor. I made a concoction of foul smelling things and tipped everyone’s pens and locker combination dials in them. I was a total mess and they kicked me out of the advanced language program. By the time I got to high school, I was finally making friends. I got along with people better and more people enjoyed my company. On the downside I was pulling in mediocre grades in mediocre classes. Now I’m 17 and I wish I had known better. I wish I had developed my talents more instead of trying to fit in. But when you’re 12 all you really want is to just have some friends.</p>

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<p>PxAlaska, I’m very sorry to hear the troubles that you’ve gone through. You just described typical behavioral patterns of highly gifted kids under neglected conditions, although I’m sure that your parents or schools didn’t intend that way. They probably didn’t have means to support you.</p>

<p>You might feel you have already suffered from all the troubles you could possibly have, but as you pointed out, you’re only 17. Your life still can turns for the better… or the worse, depending on the many decisions you’re going to make through your adulthood. As you grow older, you’ll have more control over those decisions. I hope you make wise decisions and make your best shots to help yourself.</p>

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<p>I don’t feel very gifted anymore. I’m still considered “above average” and I take AP/Honors level classes. Perhaps a poem to show my feelings:</p>

<p>Gifted children,
there may be,
succeed as equally.</p>

<p>I don’t think gifted children are anymore likely to become “great”. Some of my gifted friends from elementary school are now working drive thru’s and forgoing college. You must nurture giftedness for it to stick around. A realistic fiction book that expresses this dilemma, “An Abundance of Katharines” by John Green. John is a New York Times best-selling author and while this particular books relates to my thoughts, my personal favorite is Looking for Alaska. His book The Fault in Our Stars is the most popular in terms of number sold. I digress. </p>

<p>If I ever make a ton of money, I am going to donate it to public schools so that they can expand their R.E.A.C.H programs or create them. (REACH was the thing elementary schoolers called the gifted and talented program).</p>