Pros and Cons of Greek Life?

Student Lounge College Life
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End Assessment:

At the very best, you find a solid group of friends that you can do things with that you maybe wouldn’t have the the resources to do outside of Greek Life… like formals and date parties were always fun. At the worst, it is all the stereotypes, binge drinking/drugs, and the toxic cultures that is shown in the media.

Would I do it again? I don’t know. I found some really interesting and wonderful people, an organization which promoted diversity within the organization (but later became less diverse with the new incoming classes), and aimed to “defy stereotypes.” It is good if you are trying to meet new people. But it still functioned as a typical Greek organization… which I found incredibly limiting given that primarily focused on the social aspect, had mandatory rituals/meetings that felt archaic, had a high cost barrier to entry, and took up a lot of time … when I think it could be so much more. In comparison to some of my other organizations, which focused on community service, some sort of broader purpose, or getting to know eachother outside of a party context, I found that to be more lacking in the experience. The organization can be good for people that find a place there, but can also be very exclusive to those that are not and has its issues.

I think the main benefits in comparison to other organizations: is more structure, more social opportunities (specifically in the form of parties), a larger network, and more time spent with those people – otherwise a person will likely find just find as much happiness joining any another organization, just my two cents.

My main advice it to see if that is something that appeals to your son/daughter in the first place, and to check the college specifically to see how it manifests itself. A college with more things to do/ a strong community or near a vibrant city will provide more social opportunities outside of Greek Life. I would be concerned if it was the only option… or most students say that is the only thing to do there. I would be cautious of joining if she doesn’t necessarily like parties, but others have said it has helped them become more outgoing. While I have limited experience with sororities, from my friend’s experience I have found that some of them have more internal bonding and have more things that they try to do outside of just hosting parties all the time. For instance “big/little” relationships, which can be a positive thing that I forgot to mention above. (However this is not exclusive to Greek life, as many other college organizations have adopted similar types of structures and relationships)

Edit: Someone above mentioned William & Mary. I think it is a school with a fairly healthy Greek scene in comparison to some other schools, of course with its own issues. It strikes a good balance as something you can try if you are interested in, without being too overbrearing. It has a strong community and other things to do to boot, so a possible consideration if you are interested.

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My dd decided to rush at a large greek southern school where recruitment happens before classes begin freshman year. She did have close friends who were not Greek, including 2 of her suitemates.
Pros:

  1. Instant connections to the university, peers, and resources.
    Right away she was introduced to clubs and organizations outside of her sorority by older sisters. She had someone to ask about the clubs/organizations and someone to go with to those first meetings. In her first year she was very involved in various different organzations in her major and that fit with her ECs. At a large school she took advantage of all aspects of the school that she does not think she would go to if she was unaffiliated. She saw her sisters in live theater and music performances, she went to sporting events that she likely would have not attended and had people to sit with and get her up to speed on the rituals. These are available to all students but she had personal connections that helped her to leave her comfort zone to go out and try things and people to do it with. She interviewed for campus wide positions and she was very involved in multiple philanthropic events, for her house and many of the others. She met girls from all majors and all over the country in planned social events. She was very busy and did not have any sitting around missing home time. She knew so many people to go to meals with and people in all of her classes, some from her sorority but many that she met during rush but were in different houses.
  1. Organized study hours and in house tutors She maintained a 4.0 both semesters taking a full course load. Along with all of the social events she had study hours and an expectation that school comes first. Weak grades=limited social events and more study hours. There were sisters in the house who were available to support and tutor other sisters. These upperclassmen were also advisors at a big school where advising can be hit or miss. They cleared up the sequence of courses and the feasability of taking challenging courses concurrently. Scholarship is honored and rewarded.
  2. Networking She has just finished her freshman year but she has already been plugged in to internship opportunities through upperclassman and alumnae members. She is on a travel team for one of her ECs and while traveling out of state was plugged in to sorority sisters in that city.
  3. Socials She has been to formals and semiformals and date parties. She has met many people and had fun. She is not a drinker and she has never felt forced or judged for not drinking. She feels she is much safer attending these parties and social events because she has a network of sisters watching out for each other. Most of the independents she knows still drink and socialize but they are much more likely to do it in dorms and private houses that are much less regulated and where girls may find themselves alone and in over their head. The safety factor and drinking culture is an issue greek or not greek.

Hazing: She did not experience any hazing at all. She is not in a homogeneous sorority where everyone is a cookie cutter. There are over 400 sisters in her house and she will admit she does not know all of them well. She did feel that joining her co-ed fraternity for her major was much more time consuming and intense, but still no hazing.

CONS:
$$$$ It is expensive. The houses cost money to maintain and there are costs. DD did have meals provided in the house instead of a meal plan and had very little extra costs (no extra cost for social events).

Rush was exhausting and could be extremely anxiety inducing. It was a week long interview process with very little breaks. It really tests a girls confidence and it may not be for everyone.

Time intensive. The sorority alone takes time but is not excessive. Add in the study hours, the grade expectations, the philanthropy events, the social pull, and the oppurtunity to get involved in campus organizations and major related activities/organizations and it adds up to long, full days. Those who don’t juggle it well struggle. She saw girls who were run down and exhausted. Her independent friends were not nearly as busy and had lots of down time. FWIW both of her suitemates who were independent are rushing as sophomores now.

There are problems with excessive drinking, assualt, racism, and violence where there are masses of people. This includes college campuses. I don’t think this is a sorority thing at least in our experience.

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My son was in a fraternity at a major midwest public flagship, and I think @shawnspencer summarized the pros and cons effectively. I would add that, for my son who was not involved in other campus organizations, though did intern or have a part time job most semesters, he didn’t have the same time conflicts as @shawnspencer simply because he was doing less. For my son, his fraternity shrunk the social and academic experience, in a good way, and did get him involved in activities he wouldn’t have otherwise done – including being a cast member and co-director of a musical comedy show with all the time management skills that required. He did drink but we know he drank in high school, so that was not a change. He chose a fraternity which was often described as “nice” guys who maybe didn’t party as hard core as some others – I once heard them described as the kind of guys you marry rather than party with. Although we were not big fans when he said he wanted to pledge, in hindsight, we agree that it was an overall positive for him.

I agree that it varies tremendously by campus, and factors to consider include: percentage of student participation; whether it is residential or not and, if it is residential, how many other housing options are there for students; to what extent is there an “underground” greek life presence.

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However, at schools that are 80% white, there can be a difference between a school with sororities that are mostly around 80% white versus a school with sororities that are close to 100% or 0% white. The latter would indicate a higher level of self-segregation than the former.

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Depends entirely on the school. I think for students coming from far away, it can be a very good thing as it allows them to meet a group of individuals with similar interests and make friends easily.

Hazing is the biggest con, but it entirely depends on the chapter and school.

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A former student committed suicide after pledging for a frat. He couldn’t live with whatever it was he did in order to join.

I can’t get his face out of my mind any time the subject comes up. I sincerely hope and pray that my kids will opt out.

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This is coming from my own experiences, observations, and pre-conceived notions. It not only depends on the college, but can depend on the specific sorority. Personally, I can’t see any reason to join a sorority, unless it’s to get a shot at better housing. Otherwise, the idea of living with other people just.like.you doesn’t appeal. Experiencing diversity in college over ride most other considerations.

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It is what it is. To think that all is “fine” at non-Greek events and off campus parties is to live a lie. Off campus parties can be more dangerous and crazy than any Greek event. At most schools, Greek organizations have rules that help keep things in control. The bottom line is the kid needs to be smart and make good choices.

As for hazing, sure it happens. But much is rumor and legend. It also depends on what they define as hazing these days. I have read some places define it so broadly that requiring study tables and house cleaning chores is “hazing.” Much of the hard core stuff has been eliminated. Unfortunately, as we see in the news some stupid stuff still goes on. Again it comes down to being smart and making good choices. You can’t be afraid to say, “nah, this is stupid.”

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Not stupid. Criminal.

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I think it is a personal preference and it really depends on the school. Of course there are pros and cons (articulately detailed in several above posts). I was in a sorority back in the day. At first I was not interested at all in Greek life, but pledged my second year and had a great experience. I was also an athlete, and because I pledged second year, I had friends from my dorm, classes and my athletic team before I pledged. I never lived in the house and none of my apartment-mates were in my sorority. So, my sorority sisters were not my closest friends, however, it was another group of friends that I had at college. We have consistently met up at our reunions and a group of 11 of us went to NOLA to celebrate a big birthday year for all. I would definitely do it again.

Fast forward to my D17, who attends the same college I did. She went there knowing one other person from her HS (a boy) and first semester was a bit up and down. At her school, rush is in January (which I prefer). She went through rush and ended up pledging a sorority. D17 had already made some close friends and she and 3 other girls got an apartment for next year (none are in her sorority). She was not sold on the sorority at first as it was not her “first choice.” I encouraged her to give it a try. I figured if she made 5-10 friends in her sorority, she would certainly enjoy being part of the group. She now has a new group of friends with lots of social activities (not all mixers and parties) as well as philanthropic commitments. She will be working part-time, too.

My S19 will may not be interested in Greek life. That will depend on the university he attends.

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Biggest pros: socializing, networking, parties, instant friend group
Biggest cons: cost!!!, time, lack of freedom to some degree, diversity

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Greek Life varies from school to school. At some schools Greek life is student life at others it is a main part of it and at some schools there is no Greek life. Joining a sorority can bring on many positives for your female student. The socializing, the friend group, the knowing people everywhere, the belonging, the parties/date nights/socials/formals/social events, the grade requirements, the study groups, the housing, the life long friends are just some of the many benefits. The sororities often pair up with fraternities one group with another group for socials. This allows the sorority members to meet tons of young men from all the houses over the year. They also have Greek Games, philanthropy work, sports events, tailgates and other fun activities. The sorority bond can make it easier to go anywhere because you are never alone. The sisters watch your back and make sure that you make it home safe. The negatives are the mandatory meetings, costs, and stereotyping by others who are not Greek. Diversity is a tough one because often Asians, African Americans and other groups join sororities made exclusively for them and some join the main Greek organizations. Add to that there are coed "educational’ and social fraternities based on majors and career aspirations. Exposure to alcohol, sexual assault, and hazing is rampant at many colleges campuses and can be found in groups from marching band to cheerleading to residence halls to Greeks. If your kid is with a lot of other kids they will get exposed to a lot of things that are beyond your control. All in all IMHO Greek life’s benefits out weigh the negatives but again it is on a campus by campus basis. Those campuses that do not oversee Greek life and those where the national chapters are not really involved it can be problematic. Well run organizations, oversight and student leaders of character help make the Greek System a highlight of college

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I don’t think the sorority is going to be any more ‘just like me’ than the honors dorms, the LLC options to live in the French house or on the psychology wing of a dorm. My daughter opted out of the FIG (freshman interest group) in the dorm the first year and was SO glad she did. She spent enough time with the theater group in classes, didn’t need to spend the evenings with them too. Her friend regretted the decision to join the psychology FIG and elected to move into the sorority house after the first semester. When my daughter moved into the sorority, there were all kinds of majors represented.

Last year my sorority sisters had a reunion after 40 years. I was surprised to learn that we had so many engineers in our group, plus teachers and dancers and business execs and stay at home mothers. We were a very diverse group who just happened to join the same house. I don’t think we would have experienced more diversity if we hadn’t joined. Only freshmen lived in the dorm, so we would have found a group of 4-5 friends to live with in an apartment near campus rather than 50 girls in the sorority house.

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Greek Life way different depending on the type of school. I was Greek at a small liberal arts school, but at that school, about 70% of the people were Greek. At a large state school, I doubt I would have considered going Greek. In my case, the Greek Life certainly helped me make friends quickly, and I had a wonderful experience. It all depends.

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This is a very interesting post, so thank you OP, and all who have contributed. I especially appreciate the posts by @shawnspencer . I’m bookmarking this because I have a senior son in HS and I fully expect he will want to join a fraternity once he is in college. I personally am not a big fan of Greek Life, and, rightly or wrongly, I am keeping a running list of fraternities he will not be allowed to join, based on their bad reputations. (Yes, I researched this after a spate of awful news stories.) My thoughts are that he can join a fraternity as long as it doesn’t cost a lot of extra money, and isn’t on my list of bad frats, which I will keep updated.

What people are saying about paryting on campuses without a large greek presence is true. My daughter attends a college with no Greek Life at all, a deliberate decision. Yes, kids party, join groups, make lifelong friends, and all the rest. My main issue with Greek Life is that it is exclusive. I know a wonderful girl who rushed a bunch of sororities at Tulane and didn’t get a bid at a single one. I am still amazed to this day, even though she ultimately ended up loving Tulane, but talk about brutal. However, I appreciate that when Greek lIfe is at its best, it seems to offer amazing friendships and opportunities.

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My DD was looking for schools a couple years ago and thought having some Greek presence on campus was good, but having too much was potentially bad. She ended up at Muhlenberg, which had about 27% participation in 2016. (The number is a little low since there’s no pledging until sophomore year.) She never intended to participate since her tribe is the athletes, but after talking to friends she felt it would be good to have some groups on campus to drive the social and volunteer scenes.

It’s turned out to be more or less as she was led to believe: there are parties and volunteer fairs and all that stuff that occurs in front of the entire school, but there’s very little of the really bad stuff you hear about elsewhere. Some drinking and whatnot, but they’re a small enough part of the culture that the school has no problem sanctioning them. A couple years ago the administration kicked one of the frats out of the school-owned house they’d been leasing and the organization was suspended for a year. (The kids were in school, but the org was not active on campus. It’s back now.) So they don’t expect to get away with much and the benefits actually do outweigh the downsides.

On the other hand every year there are terrible incidents involving careless, stupid or criminal behavior at Greek houses involving hazing, rape, alcohol abuse and racist behavior. The disturbing part for me isn’t college kids being immature, but that the behavior is frequently claimed to be far out of character for the involved kids. If it really isn’t the kid then that leads me to at least partially find fault with the environment of conformity they were living in regardless of the organizations’ rhetoric about forming men of character or women of purpose or whatever. If these were all smart and strong willed leaders then you’d think one would have been able to say something to prevent these things from happening over and over and over.

This is not a new discussion, but anyone considering Greek life has to go into that world with a solid grasp of how likely the young scholar is to follow people who are making poor choices, to end up where they shouldn’t doing things that shouldn’t happen, or to be willing to take the social hit for holding back or (gasp) speaking up. You may never be put on the spot to go along or stand up, but you have to be prepared.

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Pros: Meeting new people and being apart of an important organization on-campus

Cons: The stereotypes and the cost (only if it’s expensive for you)

You get to meet new people and make connections that’ll last a lifetime. People will view you differently if they see you as a Greek life member. However, the negative stereotypes are not true at all: It all depends on the organization you join. Some are regular or professional. The cost may be a factor as well. Some are more affordable than others.

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Probably not a great idea to put 50-100 testosterone filled 18-21 year olds in a house with no adult supervision. But that’s true whether Greek or not. Back in my day, there was a townhouse complex that was worse than any Fraternity on campus.

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@Lindagaf I am so glad that you found it helpful! The truth is the fraternities will vary greatly from school to school and just because a certain fraternity has a certain national reputation doesn’t mean like it will have the same reputation in the local chapter. For instance at one school, they may have a very poor reputation and can be very problematic, like the ones featured on the news, but at another school the same chapter can be very wholesome and full of great people. There were several instances of this at the school that I attended. So it is important to look into the individual chapters at each college and it’s very difficult to paint with a broad brush.

For what it is worth, I am not a big fan of exclusive organizations either. I think it creates division where there doesn’t need to be. Greek Life organizations are by its nature exclusive. However there are ways that this can be done correctly and could be beneficial. For instance the organization that I joined recruited based on the “five values” of the fraternity, which were generally good qualities (leadership, service, scholarship, etc.) During the recruitment and evaluation process, one thing that I will give them tremendous credit for is that they evaluated the potential candidates based on those five values and whether they demonstrated them during their interactions. This meant that they did not just want members that were interested in “just partying” but wanted members that really exemplified the characteristics that would make them just a high quality person.

As I understand it though, many fraternities do not necessarily recruit through this method and just recruit based on if a person is “chill,” interested in the organization, or gets along with most of the other members. If your son is really interested in joining, I would encourage him to really scout out all the organizations and really consider them carefully. I almost ended up joining an organization where the president said some really incredibly racist and offensive stuff, unbeknownst to me at the time, so really dodged a bullet there even though I was offered a “bid.” The best thing to do is to really talk to people on the ground who know about those organizations. A key characteristic to pay attention to is how the organization treats women at parties and social events, as well as non-affiliated members. (Ex: Do they make sure that they are safe? Do they take consent and sexual assault seriously?) Several organizations at my school got into trouble for this and honestly I would steer as far away from those as possible, even if there are a few good members because frankly the culture would just be unhealthy.

“You get to meet new people and make connections that’ll last a lifetime. People will view you differently if they see you as a Greek life member.” Honestly though this can be true of any organization and “lifetime” connections simply depend how much effort you put into them. I think what Greek Life does well in comparison to other organization is heavy focus on alumni engagement and organizing events for returning members during homecoming.

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On Wednesday I went on a day trip with 2 of my sorority sisters and we had a wonderful time driving to the mountains and having lunch. We were particularly close while we were in college but 40 years later can still call up a friend and say "want to drive up a 14er?’

Anything over 20% Greek is actually pretty large participation. There are only a few schools that are over 50% Greek.