<p>My son is looking to add a couple of slightly less competitive schools to his reach-heavy list. Someone suggested Vassar to him and he is now interested, however, I've heard somewhat negative things about the student body. Maybe 'negative' is the wrong word, but I'm not certain that he'd exactly fit in. Has anyone visited there? Would you say that in general there is a certain generalization that can be applied to the students- as much as one can do that?</p>
<p>i visited, i thought everyone was really friendly. i asked a girl where the admissions office was and she was really friendly and asked me about myself and afterwards as i was leaving, she saw me again and started talking to me. :) it gave me a good feeling about the place. everyone there seemed really enthusiastic about vassar.</p>
<p>Thanks. That's encouraging. We don't have time to pay a visit before the app deadline, so he'll have to decide by reading about it and word of mouth reports.</p>
<p>Andi-
Are you alluding to the rumors about the size of the gay population at Vassar?? While there are gay students (male and female) this is not by any means the majority. The Vassar community is supportive, accepting and non-judgemental, which likely permits all groups to be vocal. The students are bright, inquisitive, friendly and non-competetive. I am a bit biased, as I am an alum. It is a wonderful place for male and female students. I have kept in touch with many of my VC friends (male and female), and visited them as I toured the country with my s. last year during his college search. In fact, I have a closer connection with my VC friends than with my grad school friends. Just a testament to the enduring friendships that are made. Encourage your son-- it is a wonderful place and a beautiful campus. If he likes small classes and being invited to a faculty member's house for dinner, VC is the place for him.</p>
<p>jym626 hi, thanks for your thoughtful and very encouraging response. This makes me feel much better. I wasn't actually thinking of the gay population--it's something else which I can't even quite describe-- which make this sound embarrassingly stupid!! For some probably totally unfounded reason I've long had this impression that the students there are rather angst- ridden upper middle class kids who are happy being unhappy with life. I have no idea why I have this preconception but I'd be quite happy for you to set me right.</p>
<p>That they are, in the main, upper middle class kids (or, the way I would put it - top 5%ers), goes without sayings - it is a top LAC with proportionately few poor ones. But do they have more angst than Harvardians or Swarthmorians? I've never seen an "angst metric". They looked happy to me (but then what do I know?)</p>
<p>As for the gay population: Gay male percentages in the population are generally understood to outnumber lesbians by about 3 to 1. So when you begin with a male population that is only slightly more than a third of a very tolerant campus, and then take out the gay ones from heterosexual sexual bonding possibilities, I can imagine it being of concern to heterosexual female students (who didn't, after all, choose an all-female school.) But I doubt said population is larger than, say, Yale's.</p>
<p>I think you may have been reading too much about Mary McCarthy or Edna St. Vincent Millay. Rumor had it that Edna St. Vincent Millay tried to jump out of her dorm (Jewett) window, but that may have been folklore-- just like the stories of Jane Fonda driving a motorcycle down the hall of--- was it Jocelyn or Main (other dorms).. I forget. I don't recall any good stories abourt Mary McCarthy except that after her book "The Group" was published, which wasn't too flattering a tale about her and her VC roommates, she was not considered for any speaking engagements on campus. At any rate-- I think you are worrying waaaaay too much about nothing. As students we were all encouraged to question, challenge, and discuss issues. Was someone melancholy at times--- probably. I just don't recall. And don't forget-- Edna St. Vincent Millay was there in about 1913 and Mary McCarthy in about 1930. Things have changed a bit since then...</p>
<p>I too think you are referencing shools as they were in the past. But I suppose more recent books (still 10+ years old) such as The Secret History (modeled on Bennington) encourage these stereotypes.</p>
<p>But to bring up another interesting alum recently getting press--how about Anthony Bourdain? The current (hetero) bad boy chef turned writer of the foodie world?</p>
<p>OK That's exactly what I was hoping to hear. I have in fact read some of the books mentioned and news articles- all a long time back- and that's probably where those ideas originated. They then became half-remembered snippets of information glued to my brain. I'll have to accept his choice of putting this school on his list, whatever the case, as it's ultimately his choice to make! I basically was trying to help myself feel a little better about it. The fact that there are so many fewer boys there still bothers me, but I guess it's not my problem.</p>
<p>My son looked at it, and believe it or not, just thought there were too many girls, and a little too "granola." (It didn't help that everyone keeps saying "Isn't that an all-girls school?" everytime he mentioned it.) He also heard a loud and clear message that they had no merit scholarship money (which he knows is a requirement here). So, when it came time to actually decide what schools he was going to apply to, Vassar just didn't make the cut. Of all the other schools that got nixed, two were nixed for basically the same reasons - Oberlin and Skidmore.</p>
<p>Andi-
This is directly from the VC website: "Today, the male-female ratio at Vassar is about 40 to 60 (standard for a liberal arts college)." Ergo-there aren't "so many fewer boys".
It sounds like you really do not want your son to apply-- though the reasons may change, the message I hear, and assume he hears, remains the same. I would encourage you to do some soul-searching to see what you are reacting to. He will most likely always hear "isn't that a girl's school" to some degree-- Happens all the time to my male VC friends, and we all attended 30 yrs ago. My male friends from VC are a wonderfully successful group of men (physicians, Ph.D.s, attorneys, CFO's, authors, etc). They all took the risk of going to Vassar just as it was going co-ed. I give them a lot of credit. I am sorry you sound so down on the idea of your son attending. It is a wonderful school, and when he tells people he went there, thye will no doubt reply- "isn't that a girl's school?" which then leads to wonderful conversations... What does he plan to major in?? I truly hope you will be a little more open minded. Consider going on the live admissions "chat" to talk to some current students. Maybe that will make you feel better. And by the way-- theschool colors are now maroon and grey-- not rose (pink) and grey. More politically correct and non gender specific.</p>
<p>It is a wonderful school and it is really not a safety for males any more. And is no longer as female heavy since schools like William and Mary are now encroaching the 60/40 split. Many schools are having trouble maintaining an even balance of males and females.</p>
<p>Reading this thread has prompted me to cease my lurking in order to chime in. I knew little about Vassar when Daughter 1 wanted to visit, but a parent friend had told me that many students there seemed to him to be disaffected, to see the glass as "half empty." He also said unequivocally that his son had loved Vassar, had a great education there, made wonderful friends, landed well afterwards... Still, the dad's comments left me wondering, perhaps like Andi, if, for lack of a better term, Vassar was a "happy place."</p>
<p>Our two visits were very reassuring to me on that score. I chatted with one young man (conversation allowed since d. was off with her overnight host) who certainly fit the bill, prematurely mature and bored-looking (I wonder now why I even approached him!): Yes, he liked Vassar but, as a senior Film major, was feeling "limited" by the campus and its environs. Where are you from? I ask. Los Angeles, he replies. Hmmmm, I say to myself. Everyone else I chatted with on my own, and all whom my daughter met, were friendly, welcoming, and positive. </p>
<p>My daughter was impressed that a couple of students from a class she'd sat in on approached her afterwards to see if she had any questions about Vassar, and found her host and the host's friends to be lively, interesting, and down-to-earth. She liked that students came out in force for an impromptu a cappella show and called out when their friends soloed... </p>
<p>For my part, just looking around the cafe while waiting for my daughter, I saw every imaginable "type," and they were mixing. I also came away with the sense that jym626 describes that Vassar is not simply a diverse but a tolerant place, and that that is very much to its credit. Having read an account in the campus newspaper about a gay-bashing incident on a visit to a different LAC, I was struck that nobody but me seemed to give a second glance at, to me, a pretty-far-out-there guy at Vassar. </p>
<p>As jym626 gently suggests, I am only beginning to recognize the extent to which I need to consider my own attitudes throughout this process. My daughter loved the vibe at Vassar and, to her credit, she says it is a place that will challenge her to grow in ALL respects, not just intellectually, precisely because it's NOT a clone of her comfortable, sports-oriented, mostly white-bread high school. I admire her maturity. She is also unconcerned about the male-female ratio and the gay-lesbian presence because she sees Vassar as a place with neat kids and plenty of potential friends who share her interests. I think my daughter's assessment is right on the money and, if she goes there, I can see that <em>my</em> education will continue, too.</p>
<p>THere's a thread on the college search board about Vassar being extremely "crunchy" and that there are alot of potheads?</p>
<p>grateful mom-
A very eloquent post- I am glad you came out from lurker status. And I am glad you had a varied experience at Vassar. That's what Vassar is all about. When I applied, many moons ago, the soundbite on the course catalog was "Vassar College is not unique-- every Vassar student is". That clearly still rings true today. I have to laugh at the varied preconceived notions that people have-- from questions about pot to questions about how many rich, preppie kids go there (and both are there). It is a mixed bag, as are most college campuses these days. The beauty of Vassar is that if you want something, you can make it happen. The faculty and administration are very supportive of, no-- encourage individual thinking-- which is why there are a lot (well, maybe not a lot..) of self-designed independent majors. If it makes sense, and you have the faculty support, you'll probably be able to create an independent interdepartmental major. One friend of mine designed a major in which he blended biopsychology, computer science and... oh gosh, I forget the third piece. But he is now a Ph.D neuropsychologist (as am I) who has published several books and has held a faculty position at U of Chicago. My freshman yr roomate is an Art History professor at UC Davis. I double majored in biopsychology and developmental psychology and threw in elementary education certification while I was at it - though I dropped the elementary ed pursuit in my senior year because I preferred to do a senior research project/thesis instead of student teach. I presented my research proposal to the biology faculty and the school purchased everything I needed, including some pretty expensive specially concocted low protein food for the animals in my study (which they also purchased). I had incredible opportunities there. I talked my way into senior seminars in my sophomore year. And what a great experience. I have to wonder if maybe the "don't take things at face value but challenge ideas in the pursuit of knowledge" attitude that I personally felt encouraged to foster at VC can make people come across as jaded or cynical. I am sure there are a few curmudgeons on campus-- you'll get that anywhere-- I see that in some of the posts elsewhere on CC.
OK-- I'll get off my soapbox. Just keep an open mind. That is what the Vassar community does. I am sorry my older s. didn't consider Vassar-- (he chose Rice). He wanted a school with small classes, where the professors invited you to their home, where there were either flexibile distribution requirements or no required classes outside of your major and no language requirement. I replied "you are describing Vassar". Unfortunately, his response was "how's their engineering program?" He wanted that available to him.
Good luck to all of you-- I am glad don't have to go through this with s. #2 for a few more years...</p>
<p>I will say this for Vassar - Did anyone receive the newspaper-like mailing that had the story about the Hounds of Vassar? It was all about the various dogs that have a presence on campus, and it was hilarious. I even emailed the editor to tell her how funny I thought it was. Among the deluge of college mail, it was one of the few things I willingly read and enjoyed!</p>
<p>Hi, I'm back and have done my 'soul searching,' thanks to all of your comments. gratefulmom, you are exactly right in my feeling that there would be 'glass- half- empty types' there. And jym626, you were definitely right, that I needed to think about what my real issues were about the school. So what I have come up with is that I have been worrying about my s being 'happy,' at college. When I was a teenager, during the VN War years, I went thru some tough times and I think was susceptible to being unduly influenced by some real downer kids. So that "image" that I have had of VC kids was threatening to me--that he might get dragged down to some abyss of misery! I had actually been up front with him from the start of our discussion about VC-- that I wasn't sure what it was that I was put off by. But tonight I opened up our dialog again, and read this thread to him--including your comments that I needed to be more openminded. We had a great discussion and I think we are both clear about our feelings now. I can't believe how helpful this thread has been. I felt nervous about posting this question, given how sort of nonspecific my question was but I'm very glad I did. Thanks again for all of your honest remarks.</p>
<p>Andi-
Glad you found all this helpful. Sounds like you have a pretty good kid, and if he is a well grounded guy, he will probably do just fine with any of the "Debbie downers" he meets at any school. All college students go through an adjustment period-- and he'll have that wherever he goes. I for one am glad the most colleges are finally recognizing this and giving more support to mental health services. Vassar has had peer counselors for as long as I can remember (that translates to mean we had them available when I was there). I was in college in the early 70's, a very interesting time.... Let me leave you with one last VC story. This happened the year before my freshman year. It was the year of the big anti war riots-- Columbia students marched down Fifth Avenue ( that happened on the very first day I drove a car into Manhattan-- great timing-- I was afraid I'd run over a protester..) Protest marches were going on everywhere. Anyway.. at some point some Vassar students decided to initiate a protest and take over the President's office. The President said to the protesters "don't make a mess, don't make any long distance calls, and let me know when you are done" and left the office to them. Only at Vassar.......</p>
<p>jym626- lol great post. Sounds like that was one smart VC president. Sent the score reports to Vassar, so it's officially on the list and I'm feeling very good about it. It actually is a great match for him, now that I can admit it!! BTW I think I may have been in DC protesting on the day you drove into NYC!! Thanks again.</p>
<p>Andi
You are most welcome :) Keep us posted!</p>