<p>Here’s another thought: go to a community college and learn a technical skill or trade for a year or two. Take up computer programming or become even become a plumber. </p>
<p>"My question is what do you do with that child? Do you continue to let that child live with you since he/she can’t afford to live on their own? Do you try to encourage your child to apply for a better paying job? How would you handle the situation? "</p>
<p>I would charge them some nominal rent (but certainly less than the going market rate for a room around here) and expect them to be enthusiastic doers of chores.</p>
<p>I would certainly encourage them to look for a better paying job using their existing quals. And I would also expect them to consider the possibility of getting new quals.</p>
<p>Why is it that this child has not been able to hold on to any of these jobs? I know lots of kids who started with entry level jobs in retail and were able to move up to management positions. Perhaps not their dream job, but it certainly gave them the ability to live on their own.</p>
<p>I’d also encourage the kid to get some career counseling.</p>
<p>mnmom: I sort of resent opinions like that that come from your generation (my parents as well). With all due respect, times have changed a lot, as has cost of living. Adjusted for inflation, minimum wage in the 1970s was actually higher than a current $10/hour job. On top of that, housing costs are higher, food costs more, and most students/grads have massive student loan debt, because of course college also costs more. Now, of course, there aren’t any jobs out there, and you cannot even wipe out student loan debt by declaring bankruptcy. </p>
<p>That’s not to say many upper middle class kids aren’t willing to live an even slightly uncomfortable life. But their parents have set them up for that in many ways, and are now encouraging it by bankrolling their post-college years in the city. </p>
<p>Many my age however (myself included) are living under much grittier conditions than even our parents recall. I for one shared with another person a tiny studio apartment that hadn’t been renovated since the 1940s, had a crumbling ceiling, cracking windows, lead in the water, and was in a very dangerous neighborhood. I actually developed asthma from living there and it hasn’t gone away. We lived mostly on oatmeal and rice and beans that we had to spend hours cooking every night to save money. Rent at this place? Over $1000/month. </p>
<p>I’ve since moved back to live with my mom for a while, and I really do not want to be here. We have dreams of living our own lives in our own cities or towns, not of mooching off our parents.</p>
<p>Honied - I certainly did not mean to offend anyone; just commenting on what I observe in my neighborhood. I know some college grads are working hard and willing to have roommates, etc. College is certainly more expensive relative to income than in my day. That being said, I do personally know a lot of kids that claim they cannot afford to move out of their parents’ homes while they have no student loans (full parent pay) and drive really nice cars. I agree with you that the parents have set them up for it. Of course there is a wide spectrum of situations, lifestyles, etc. I was careful to say that my comments were based on my observations “here.” The OP situation seems too comfortable which is just my opinion. Have a great day.</p>
<p>I think that 6 straight years after graduation at home with a series of low-paying jobs and no advancement is a worrisome situation.</p>
<p>As MizBee says, plenty of people have moved up in jobs that started out low on the totem pole by dint of good work ethic, display of initiative, and good attitude. It happened to me several times, and one of those promotions led to my eventual real career.</p>
<p>honied_dreams, speaking as one who endured the years of student and post-grad poverty in shared apartments, and who did move home at one point to gather funds to move into an apartment, I know where you are coming from. But I must say that I have seen a number of 20-somethings who <em>must</em> have an Iphone and cable tv, and <em>must</em> go out for meals and buy $5 coffees, but who cannot come up with the funds to get their car repaired so that they can get to work. </p>
<p>I cannot imagine living at home all this time unless the person has some kind of major issue. Doesn’t he want to have an adult sex life? Doesn’t he want to have the possibility of developing a career, a long term relationship, an adult life? I know it is almost a CC joke at this point, but I really would wonder about depression in this case.</p>
<p>"I cannot imagine living at home all this time unless the person has some kind of major "</p>
<p>My parents each lived in their parents homes till they married (except for my dads time in college, and in the US Navy) In fact AFTER they married they lived with my dads parents for a couple of years, and then I think with my moms parents, while my dad got a more practical degree using the GI Bill. </p>
<p>Im not exactly sure why your own place is a prerequisite to getting a career or a relationship. Our depression era parents often managed to get those things WHILE living with their parents, and THEN moved out. </p>
<p>I realize that many kids today are not doing that - my parents didnt drink lattes or have iphones. But at a time when we face the worst economy since, well, my parents childhood experience - and when we are all concerned with young people saving, and not blowing money unnecessarily on overpriced real estate - Im not sure that living with parents cant be a desirable answer. </p>
<p>yes depression may be the cause - but not the mood disorder ;)</p>
<p>I would advice the adult they had so many months to move out and we had a bad relationship. Otherwise it doesn’t matter to me if they stay in my home.</p>
<p>I went to work at 18 (not to college, that came later) under the CETA program. The situation at home was particularly bad at that point (13 people living in a 3 bedroom house with one bathroom and no shower). </p>
<p>I still remember like it was yesterday getting that first paycheck and walking down the street to the bank swearing that I would get enough money so I could get out of the house and never, ever, need to move back. I was out in 3 months, and saved the equivalent of my annual salary in 4 years. Part of that time I worked at minimum wage. I lived with roommates, didn’t have a car until I was 21, and started night school after 1 year.</p>
<p>When I was 24, I was living and working in a professional job in Jacksonville, FL. I wanted to move back to the northeast, and was interviewing in NYC, where my parents still lived. It was my plan to move in with them (3 people in a 3 BR apt with one bathroom, one shower) and save money while looking for my own apt (and using that time to ease the byzantine complexities of NYC apt hunting). My dad in particular thought of this as a very good idea. </p>
<p>As it happened I got a transfer to Baltimore before landing a job in NY, so I never did move back in.</p>
<p>If my kid was making $9-10 an hour, and I had no financial problems, I just couldn’t take “room and board” off of them. How mean would that be, having them hand over a couple of hundred buck notes every month?</p>
<p>“If my kid was making $9-10 an hour, and I had no financial problems, I just couldn’t take “room and board” off of them.”</p>
<p>how about taking it and putting it into an account set aside for them though? Just to make sure they arent using the home stay to be less frugal than otherwise, which seems to be the concern of a lot of folks here.</p>
<p>OP, does the 30-year old do chores (including the really serious stuff like yard, deep cleaning, etc)? And what does he really want to do? I recommend, if not career counsseling a book like “What Color is Your Parachute” or “Zen and the Art of Making a Living”. He needs to figure out what he wants in working conditions (direct customer contact or not, office or not, routine or project work, etc). From that, start hitting the pavement, even if the positions are for other $9-10/hr positions as long as the opportunity to work in the right environment and have some chance of advancement. If pharmacy tech is really the environment he wants then go for it. Then, set a timeline for moving out and expectations about future salary obligations. For instance, set the expectation that in 3 months from now (assuming job) that enough money will be in savings for housing deposit and one month rent.</p>
<p>-He doesn’t have any friends to live with for a roommate. Doesn’t have any friends at all. The only thing he does for “fun” is go run.</p>
<p>-He doesn’t drive an expensive car, nor does he go out and drinks anything like coffee or beer, or gets expensive meals. He eats tv dinners and soup. He doesn’t own anything expensive nor does he want anything expensive like iphones, ipads, etc.</p>
<p>-He does chores such as mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, painting the house, etc. Whatever work needs to get done gets done.</p>
<p>-He’s been subbing the last three years for two school districts </p>
<p>-His job before subbing was working as a customer service associate for a big box retail store for a year before away. He was only getting paid 9 dollars an hour and found out newly hired younger employees with less work experience and only a high school diploma verses his bachelors degree were getting paid more money for no reason since the HR manager didn’t give a specific reason. (Just one job example to give you an idea)</p>
<p>-He continues to apply for all sorts of jobs such as retail, customer service jobs for various places besides retail, janitor work, fastfood, etc. He’s been rejected for some of those places because he was told he was overqualified for the jobs, but he still applies for those positions because he doesn’t know what else to apply for.</p>
<p>-He passed his pharmacy technician test last month and is waiting on the state to change his status from technician in training to certified technician. (They won’t hire you if a place sees you’re in training)</p>
<p>so it sounds like youre medium term goal is to be a pharm tech (you could pursue teaching again when the market turns around, if you like) And you are just waiting for the paperwork before looking in earnest, and are working meanwhile. I can’t see anything wrong with your strategy in terms of career and real estate. </p>
<p>I would suggest that you think about learning to cook - frozen dinners arent that great in terms of cost or healthiness </p>
<p>And maybe think about making friends (though i realize poverty and unemployment can make you reluctant)</p>
<p>ryhoyarbie, the information about lack of friends is another reason for him to move out, or at least start volunteering, joining a club, etc. Sounds like he has lost his “mojo”. Something needs to be done to get him out of this funk. I am sure that counseling will be the next bit of advice, and I will agree, but right now, he needs action above all.</p>
<p>Some of the jobs he has applied in the last few months are as followed:</p>
<p>-Several teaching aide jobs at one of the school districts he substitutes in
-Crewmember at McDonalds
-Janitor for one of the school districts he subs in
-Janitor at a company called ATI
-Cashier for two different retail sports and outdoors stores
-Mailroom clerk for Halliburton
-Records clerk for the city
-File clerk for a health care company
-Libary aide for Texas A&M library
-Traffic assistant for CBS Radio
-Customer service associate for 7-11
-Front desk clerk for Hilton hotels and Omni hotels
-Bank Teller</p>
<p>What I am hearing is that he really doesn’t know for sure what direction he wants to go in, regardless of the fact he is nearing 30. I see this in more and more people. I’m not sure why, maybe there are too many choices, maybe people are depressed with the economy and just tired of trying. I don’t know the answer, just an observation. Some people know without a doubt what they really want to do with their lives. Others are just never sure. I had a brother in law that was a senior before he declared a major, and that was only after he went to an advisor and asked what he should do. This advisor says to take a few more classes in psychology. He did, graduated with a psych degree and worked at Lowe’s for 6 years. He finally met the girl of his dreams, got married and she encouraged him to get a degree in a tech field. Not sure if he is actually liking what he is doing but it is a job and he is supporting his family. It just seems so many people just don’t know what they want to do with the rest of their lives.</p>
</p>