I’m a junior who’s doing some preliminary thinking about my common app essay. I have several ideas, but there is one that I am really thinking a lot about. Please tell me what you guys think!
First, some background knowledge: I live in a very affluent town where a majority of the population is in the top 1% of America. While I am not poor, I am certainly not a stereotypical ‘rich’ kid from my town.
I want to right my essay as a criticism of my town. I’ve definitely noticed a lot of things growing up here, and I wish to reflect upon them.
What do you guys think? Would this essay be able to bring out some inner quality of mine?
I’m going to take a gamble and guess it would be in response to: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”
This could be dangerous. You would have to avoid sounding jealous or as if you have a chip on your shoulder. If your experiences give you the basis to highlight some reasons that YOU are who YOU are, it might be interesting. If it’s a polemic, I would recommend against it – as much as it might be to rant against a place like Kenilworth or wherever you might live.
I’d caution against that too. Truthfully, the average high school senior thinks he or she is far wiser, more insightful and observant about the world at large than is really the case. Also, the purpose of the CA essay is for the admissions committee to know more about you, what’s important to you, what motivates you, etc. You say you’re not a stereotypical rich kid from your town. Do you mean you’re a scholarship kid at some elite prep school? That could make for an interesting essay. Or do you just mean that you think you’re somehow better or more enlightened than your peers? That doesn’t sound so interesting and in fact could be quite off putting. Keep the focus on yourself and why you would be a good addition to the college campus.
I agree with @AboutTheSame. And @Corinthian. You don’t know the background of admission officers. They might take offense. In addition, you want to use your essay as showing who you are, not through criticism of your town though. When I interview job candidates, i never like or select the people who speak badly about their previous employers or bosses. Same idea!!
I read that essay and agree that she pulls it off. If you can manage to, then it can be a good essay. But note that she doesn’t position herself as better than her hometown peers. She acknowledges her own complicity in the superficiality and the need to change.
Whatever you do, keep it humble. As someone else pointed out, the admissions committee probably contains people who grew up disadvantaged and know more about its consequences than you can imagine. And if you make it to an elite college a good part of your freshman orientation will be about recognizing and acknowledging your privilege, and the lessons will likely be taught by actual low income, disadvantaged students who probably think they know more about this issue than you do. So tread carefully. Note that Erica Meister, the author, basically says she recognizes some of the questions that need to be asked, She doesn’t suggest she already knows the answers.
I wondered what reaction the author, Erica Meister, got from her hometown after her essay was published by the NY Times. I googled her name and found an interesting, well written reaction from one of her peers: http://studybreaks.com/2016/05/27/a-response-to-erica-meisters/
Sheesh. Once again, a poster aiming for elites. How do you think a critique of your town is relevant to your admissions review? Know your targets well, what they value and look for. It’s not some exposition. It’s not meant to be a hs free topic writing assignment and the adcoms won’t know the rest of you as your hs teachers do.
And show, not just tell. What have you done?
Meisters didn’t get into Stanford just for writing about her town. But she did write with self perception, balance, humility. Lots to be read between the lines in hers. But she got in based on a whole package.
Sorry if I offended you @lookingforward. I didn’t fall in love with that essay by Meisters because she got into Stanford for it. I connected to it because it exemplified what I want my essay to be about. I’m not trying to find the best essay to appeal for the top colleges. Just trying to choose something that really affects me. And I understand it wasn’t just the essay that got Meisters in.
I wasn’t offended. But when you’re applying to most-competitive colleges, you don’t want them thinking, “What am I supposed to do with this essay?” They aren’t grading writing and analytical skills, as a teacher would. You could get further if you could show how you responded to a local challenge, left a situation better or other attributes. Critiquing (and even reflecting on) the town stereotype isn’t showing them.
This isn’t about their own upbringing. It’s about what they expect-and need- to see in you, how you function and evolve. And they care less about your own perception of stereotypes in your town, than eeking out what you add to their community. They may even like kids from your town. So can you view this another way?
What do you think about focusing on this:
I deliver turkeys to some housing projects in our town on thanksgiving as a minor volunteer activity. Last year, I came face to face with a kid I knew very well (just didn’t know he lived in a project). Startling and pretty moving movement. Had an interesting conversation with him and then we became friends afterwards (not close friends or anything but we say hi to each other in the hallways)