It hit me today why I have been researching colleges more for my S23 when even I know its a bit too early yet. He isn’t certain what his major would be. He isn’t sure if he will pursue sports in college. He can’t even decide on sophomore level courses.
I work at a college and S23 would be eligible for applying for TE/FACHEX.
As of right now, my son has said a tentative no to all FACHEX schools because they “dont have football”. I realize hes talking like a 14 year old but football has been a huge part of his life the last 9 years and even if he does not play in college, I could see him preferring a college who at least has a team he could watch. But hes also a well rounded kid with many interests. Hes in band and choir. He ski races, does the school musical, and runs track as well. His grades are decent but Im guessing he will end up around the 3.6 or so range at the end.
Anyways, this long babble ends up with me being a bit burned out at my job. I took a bit of a pay cut to work at the college and Im still working 2 jobs. I work full time for the college and still pick up at my old job about 24 hours a month. Im tired. At the college its less flexible and Im working more hours.
So I sit here playing the “where will my son MAYBE go to college” game because Im trying to figure out whether I should stick it out to give my son college options or if I quit thinking that he will likely not get TE or want to go to any of the school options his grades might get him into realistically.
How about leaving the college and reapplying in two years if he wants a FACHEX school?
Not worth being exhausted and unhappy for the unknown…grandparenting is worth the parenting!
Why not look around to see if you can get something better paid, and then see what kinds of offers you get? Is there any chance that there could be an equivalent job at Big Football U?
I’d say…wait and see what kinds if SAT or ACT scores he gets, and GPA. He might get decent merit aid somewhere where there is at least football to watch.
Good friend had a kid who wanted to play and went to Denison…with a great scholarship, and he played football.
There are options out there…but he’s a HS freshman. I’d say…this college talk is very premature.
I’m aware it’s early but it’s a huge factor in deciding my job choices. Basically I’m putting the potential for my son and daughters college cost discount over my own personal happiness and health.
I’m trying to make it through the next 2 years but it’s not easy. I would sacrifice a lot for my kids but TE feels a lottery right now that they won’t win.
My husband worked at a college my kids wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Luckily we could afford other options. Way too early to worry about it save what you can encourage your kid to do well in class. Personally, I think the best prep for doing well on standardized testing is to do lots of reading for pleasure. Nothing fancy - my kids read nothing but sci-fi and fantasy. (Well the oldest also read books about math and computer programming.)
? university employee here, currently playing the TE lottery. My $.02…it’s a great deal IF you can get it and IF there are several schools on the list your kid would be happy attending. Otherwise, not worth a) being miserable at a job and b) the significantly lower salary we in higher ed command.
Also? The benefit really is only the amount of difference between what she qualified for in merit aid and the amount covered by TE (not full tuition at some of the schools she has applied). In one case, that difference was only $7.5k per year.
Follow along on the TE thread to get an idea of what the benefit is truly like.
What it comes down to for me is whether or not you can afford other good college options without TE. If a TE college is by far the best for your family financially, it sounds like the best option is staying with your job and letting your son know at the appropriate time (maybe end of sophomore year) that he needs to attend a TE college unless he is able to get an equivalent financial package at another college.
If you consider the TE option a financial bonus rather than a necessity, switching jobs seems like a reasonable option. Your well being is a very important consideration which should not be disregarded.
I just want to confirm what a good and thoughtful mom you are. You are obviously putting your kids’ futures first and foremost in your decision making.
Is there a possibility of changing departments/positions that would be more flexible? Maybe another higher paying job would allow you to throw $1000 a month into a 529 plan and accomplish similar results.
Cheers to you for putting your kids first but you need to be healthy and happy so they can they can follow your lead.
How old is your daughter? If you do this for your son, you are looking at his three remaining years in high school plus all four years he is in college, right? What about your daughter.
Seven plus years sounds like a very long time to work at a job you really can’t stand, if you can find something else.
Plus…your kids might not even get selected for tuition exchange. It’s not guaranteed.
I agree…is there anything else within your college that might be better work wise for you?
Can you put out applications elsewhere and see who bites?
Think about what your college budget will be annually. Make sure your kids know this when it comes time to apply. Hopefully they will get great grades and SAT or ACT scores which could net you a lower net cost than TE does.
Can you afford your instate public universities?? Looks like that might be Wisconsin…there are some less costly publics there.
How are you paying for your current freshman son who is already in college?
To be clear, I love both of my jobs. Honestly. I work with amazing people at both places. I’m just to the point where I can no longer physically or mentally work 2 jobs. I have to choose one. Both have pros and cons and I feel the biggest pro at the college is the potential reduced tuition for my youngest 2 kids. Im not sure the pros at the college outweigh the pros at the other job though.
I have been divorced for a decade. While married we both contributed to a college fund for the kids that my ex now “owns”. My ex has chosen to not contribute to our oldest sons college tuition at all so its up to me and FAFSA (long story which involves his new wife of 9 years and my oldest not getting along and a very recent 2 year court case where my ex tried to get full custody of the kids and in fact lost placement time instead).
My ex makes a substantial salary (triple what I make) but I can’t guarantee he will assist the kids with college tuition based on what hes done with our oldest. However, our middle son is my ex’s “golden child” so Im hoping ex would help with tuition for him at least.
There are a few decent in state options S23 would possibly consider.
Thanks for letting me ramble. I am very fortunate to be passionate about what I do. Im just physically and mentally tapped out like most moms of teens! I want to be home more, not less.
When my S started thinking about colleges, he wanted to go to a large school with great Division I sports, since he enjoys watching sports and thought it would be a fun part of college to attend games and cheer for his school’s teams.
However, as he started visiting schools, he realized academically he really wanted a small school with small class sizes. He ended up at a small NESCAC school.
He still followed his favorite Div I college basketball team, and his comments on discussion boards got him invited to be an official blogger for that team.
I’m sharing this to let you know it’s possible your S may change his mind about what kind of school he wants to attend.
@2plustrio , I am also a single parent to three kids and I understand your desire to free up more time to be with your children. And honestly, more time for yourself to feel less jumbled. This is a very personal decision and I am loathe to try to tell you what makes sense for your family. But I’ll proceed with the caveat of, “if it were me.”
If it were me, and the decision to give up one job had already been made, I wouldn’t let the FACHEX issue be a big factor in the decision. That includes a good group of options, but you can’t guarantee your son will choose to attend one, much less be admitted into one of those schools. That, coupled with the uncertain financial contribution from the other parent creates too much doubt to use the FACHEX as a factor. The simple truth is your son may be financially forced to attend an in-state public, which seems to be his preference anyway.
If it were me, I would make the job decision based on a combination of those other factors you mentioned. But I’d definitely cut one job loose. I reduced my outside the home obligations a year ago. This past year has been great for the kids and me. Having the extra time (and less mental wear and tear) has been a boon to our family. It would always be better to have a little more money, but EVERYTHING is better since I eliminated that extra work. As long as you can afford it, you should leave one job ASAP.
If it were me, and the ex will not provide definitive answers regarding how much he will contribute to your children’s education, I would assume he will contribute nothing. That assumption would be more certain if he has children to support with his new wife, and grow more certain with each additional child they have. If it were me, I’d make college decisions based on what I could afford myself. If your ex helps, I could consider it “found money”, but I would not assume help is on the way.
If it were me, I would start helping my child decide which in-state public is the best option for him. I’d start ensuring he does what he needs to academically to get accepted at the target instate publics. I would assume that is his most likely best suited financial option.
You’re a great mom and you’ve done a great job with your kids. I’m sure that whatever you decide to do will likely be the best option for you and your children. You didn’t get this far by making bad choices. Keep up the good work!
I stayed. Love my work. Both kids competitive and took advantage of tuition remission/exchange. Thing is, I’d have likely found other affordable options. And honestly, for the sake of my retirement savings, I probably should have moved on to something higher paying.