<p>I'm livid! Two RA's met with my daughter and her roommate in the middle of my daughter's finals for a heart to heart. Now granted my daughter keeps a messy area. I have no doubt that her roommate has a legitimate gripe. My daughter also has legitimate gripes, like her roommate smoking weed in the bathroom and coming in drunk at 2 am and turining on the tv. What irritates me is that my daughter consented to this meeting that the ra's said would take 15 minutes. My daughter did not consider the ensuing drama and tension following the meeting that cost her a nights sleep. I think it's poor policy to allow these types of meetings to be called during finals. I'm staying out of it but I have told my daughter that she should have left and told all three of them to make an appointment with her for another time! AND STOP BEING A SLOB!!!</p>
<p>I understand your take on it. But bear in mind that it was also finals period for the roommate and the RAs. If the roommate had to have the meeting ASAP, something must have risen to the level that it was affecting her ability to study.</p>
<p>Let it go. Remember the RAs are students learning just like your D and her roommate are. They probably thought the meeting would be short. Also, probably there already was tension in the room due to D’s feelings about the pot smoking and roommate’s feelings about the messiness.</p>
<p>Remember, too, the RAs have exams just like your D does. The long meeting messed up their lives just like it did your D and her roommate’s.</p>
<p>College is a learning process and the learning goes well beyond the classroom.</p>
<p>Just let it go…</p>
<p>Agree, everyone of the people present at that meeting also had finals and agree that something must have escalated for the roommate to want to do it now as opposed to the start of the next semester…let it go. And maybe the roommate is wise and just wanted to get it out of the way so they both have the holiday break to come back to a fresh start. Your daughter is venting on you because that’s what kids do. Don’t dwell on it.</p>
<p>And maybe … doing it NOW might pave the way for a switch or new assignment for next semester? That might be a good thing.</p>
<p>I’m sorry your daughter had a sleepless night during exam week. However, I think this is a very good life lesson. If you have personal drama going on with a spouse/child/room-mate/co-worker/friend, realize that the time to address it is before or after your deal with your work-related stress, not in the midst of it. If someone insists on talking “RIGHT NOW,” you can hear them out, but insist that you don’t want to talk about this when you are under pressure because they ‘deserve’ a thoughtful response that you are in no position to provide at that moment.</p>
<p>As a parent of a messy child, I can attest that the mess in the room could very well interfere with the roommate’s ability to study for her finals.
My messy child does not understand why it should bother anyone if the room looks like a major hurricane just went though it till after the finals. Thankfully, she does not have to share a room with other people any longer.</p>
<p>thecheckbook - this is not something you should be involved in. jMHO. She isn’t your 8 year-old; she’s an adult off at school living her adult life…</p>
<p>At first I thought you meant they scheduled the meeting literally at the same time as a final . . . Like your daughter had to miss a final to attend the RA meeting!</p>
<p>I understand why you’re upset, but . . . sometimes, that’s the way life goes.</p>
<p>^^ I had the same first reaction. haha</p>
<p>To the op, it is the RA’s job to address such issues. Obviously it recently came to a head. As the parent of an RA, I have heard, all semester, many stories. My D has given up many social events and weekend nights to deal w/ whatever, even though not on duty. (Last weekend she spent Fri. night w/ one of her residents who was hysterical crying and vomiting because she found out her bf was cheating on her.)</p>
<p>RA’s are evaluated on how they deal w/ hall issues, arranging hall social events, disciplining, decorating, etc. My D said her residents come to her for everything, from help in how to write a paper, to social conflicts, to how to fix a computer. She basically is the mom & dad of 18 yr olds w/ no restrictions, other than legal. Even those she has to police with tact. Do you really want to expel every freshman that has gotten drunk?</p>
<p>I am not trying to gain any sympathy for my D. She took this job and knew the responsibilities. But, op, do not blame the RA for doing her job, whether it’s final week, Sunday morning or Wednesday.</p>
<p>lol… is this for real?
as a 3-year RA, graduated last spring, I thought it’d be worth piping up. RA’s are responsible to all of their residents and never ought to cater to ONE resident at the expense of any other. sounds like your student has way too many things going on that she actually needs more than a simple RA/Roommate pow-wow. if she’s losing sleep over this and actually letting it disrupt her finals, then yeah, something deeper needs to be addressed. </p>
<p>the RA needs to make the living/study environment acceptable for Finals for your student, her roommate, and all the hallmates/suitemates. If the drama that lead up to this meeting was affecting other students in the living area then it sure as heck needed to be addressed because the 20 other kids don’t need to be dealing with **** from hallmates their while they’ve got finals. </p>
<p>bottom line finals is even more important of a time to make sure things are going smoothly. at my school if there was a violation during finals it went straight to our student judiciary committee for a hearing the next semester, RAs didn’t have to worry about discipline during those two weeks - that’s how serious we were about finals. also in my experience my peers had little to no interaction with their roommates/hallmates/etc during finals anyway because everyone was in the libraries or study lounges all the time prepping for exams that there was no time to be causing drama. every school is different though, I suppose.</p>
<p>last year D and roommate both stressed within two weeks of finals and tensions were brewing. Her younger sister saw D away message that inferred issues going on between them, almost middle school behavior with both girls. I called D told her to knock it off, I knew it would not be the time to be acting like preteens and sit down and act like an adult with roommate. If it continued both of them would be flunking finals if bickering were to ensue. Both sat down aired their grievances, went well over and done with. Finals are not the time to be getting in each others face. Living away from home dealing with adult situations like an adult is why I sign the check for tuition.</p>