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Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>Rate my poem 1-10</p>

<p>-Path-</p>

<p>Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
One path heads north,
Another path transpires mirth</p>

<p>One road appeared diverting,
While the other sighted tedious
My choice was beneficial
Hence the future to be radious.</p>

<p>And both roads I lay
I miss dribbling everyday
Time is bounded and thin,
Like ice fading away</p>

<p>Turning around, valuing education
Contentment will be waiting for graduation
I have no absolute regret
This is the road taken</p>

2

<p>I don't really like it, sorry. It's starts off with an obvious allegory to Frost, but then the transition into the rest of the first stanza isn't really natural at all. There doesn't seem to be any one common theme - it jumps around a bit too much. Also, the syllabic inconsistencies detract from what you're trying to say, in my opinion.</p>

3

<p>"Time is bounded and thin,
Like ice fading away"</p>

<p>I like those lines.</p>

<p>I think you could do better if you took away the Frost template and made it your own.</p>

4

<p>Also, unless you add Frost as a source, it could be considered Plagiarism. I think it's better to just take it out all together.</p>

5

<p>Not a fan, I'm afraid.</p>

6

<p>HisGraceFillsMe, I had permission from my teacher to insert the first 2 lines.
Whats your favorite line?
Also please take into account, this is my first poem I ever written.</p>

7

<p>Hmm... I like syllable consistency in my poems and a more exciting topic... But the choice is yours... I like your diction.</p>

8

<p>I agree with reversepsych.</p>

<p>It's good for your first poem...keep at it, and if you need help I'm pretty good at poetry.</p>

<p>A sample of something I've written:</p>

<p>We are subject every day to more pain,
Taken each day for a torturous ride,
These horrid acts on my heart leave a stain,
Don’t know how long I can keep it inside.</p>

<p>The twisted bodies are heaped all around,
Men walk over them and show no distress,
Their mouths are all closed; they make not a sound,
All the strangers see is one bloody mess. </p>

<p>They don’t see the life that young girl once had,
The man’s children that will never be born,
They see all the pain, they think, “It’s so sad,”
But the prisoners they leave to be torn. </p>

<p>We have no hope now, only pain is left,
We feel the life being sucked from this place,
Spirits are deadened by this massive theft,
The theft of a hope for a better place.</p>

<p>People are oftentimes beaten like dogs,
Even though they’ve committed no wrongs,
And if they can’t work they are burned like logs,
They’ll read no more stories, sing no more songs.</p>

9

<p>^ Melancholy, eh?</p>

10

<p>^XD yes.</p>

<p>I wrote that shortly after we read Night by Elie Wiesel last year.</p>

11

<p>Thanks Gryffon5147, appreciate it.</p>

12

<p>Ah, we are reading the novel Night by Elie Wiesel this year, quite captivating.</p>

13

<p>Yes, indeed. So sad, though. I had to constantly remind myself that it was a true story, because I couldn't imagine that all the things he talked about could really happen.</p>