Thoughts?

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>What do you think of this poem? I have to write it for english class.</p>

<p>Subconsciously, I wander
through fantastic realms. Dive into
lucid dreams. Awake in
a infinite plunge to the center
of the Earth. Climb incredible
jungle trees. Fly
above the clouds. Run
at the speed of light. Jump,
and I’m on the moon.
Gravity holds true no more.
Laws concrete, disappear.
I can do anything, while I’m here.
Until reality intrudes.
My lunar landing
was aborted. No longer
can I sprint at hyper-speed. Soar
above plains. Scale
astonishing heights. Plunge
into enormous shafts. Or
create my own universe.
Now consciously I must return
to the displeasing reality
which surrounds me
as I slumber through the night.</p>

2

<p>The ending’s incredibly blunt. Take the abstractness of the train-of-thought dreams and go somewhere with it. Keep going. Get wilder, more abstract. Reveal the almost absurd, impossible fantasies of freedom the narrator has–get specific, inside his/her head. Go places. Express the emotion of the last sentence through this longing of these dreams and try to avoid bringing it so soberly back to the bedroom.</p>

<p>/my personal opinion, which may or may not be of use to you.</p>

3

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/high-school-life/526415-verge.html?highlight=poem[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/high-school-life/526415-verge.html?highlight=poem&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/high-school-life/779366-please-dont-laugh.html?highlight=lady[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/high-school-life/779366-please-dont-laugh.html?highlight=lady&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>This is how I breed the next crop of necroers lol</p>

<p>In my poetry critic way, the action and emotion is great, but not deep. It doesn’t need to be though. so ignore that</p>