Critique needed: My poem analyzing the character of Bartleby

Pre-College Issues High School Life
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<p>Here it is, just a quick rough draft. Please critique it for me</p>

<p>Tortured, mysterious, enigmatic is one Bartleby
All that’s asked of him is to do his work to a tolerable degree
The conflict of the text lies in his lack of proprieties
His insubordination is a quality the Lawyer fails to appease</p>

<p>Bartleby’s actions stem from a lifetime of isolation
It is for this reason he is inept at adaptation
For he spent his whole life in a pit of abjection
Thus he now experiences mental dysfunction</p>

<p>His refusal to satisfy basic tasks leaves his boss confounded;
His reasoning for not doing his work is always unfounded
His passive aggressiveness leaves the Lawyer disarmed
But for the former part of the text, Bartleby’s job is unharmed</p>

<p>Things go awry, however, as his stubbornness continues
Searching for an answer, the Layer seeks more clues
But as Bartleby’s work ethic continues to dwindle
His appointment the lawyer refuses to rekindle</p>

<p>His actions in the work place continue to be flagrant
Thus eventually he is cast off as a vagrant
A better life the lawyer again offers him to pursue</p>

<h2>But Bartleby? He’d prefer not to.</h2>

<p>Right now, Im satisfied with my ending and fairly satisfied with my rhymes and meter. What I know is missing is analysis. I have too much summary. Part of my assignment is also analyzing my own poem, so I definitey need both more substantive analysis of the text, and better usage of literary devices.</p>

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<p>Is this about Bartleby the Scrivener?</p>

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<p>yeah, it must be bartleby the scrivener. hmm, you said you wanted a critique so i'll be honest. i think you try to use too many big words that a reader can stumble over because longer words break the flow. also, you have no imagery in this. if i had never read the book myself, i would never have been able to picture any of this. i must say that i love the last line, though. :)</p>

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<p>Yup, Bartleby the Scrivener. My assignment is 2 poems analyzing a character from any work we've read this year. This evening I'll probably do either Hamlet or a character from Shirley Jackson's Hamlet</p>

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<p>bumpizage!</p>