Rate my essay out of 12

<p>Hey, tomorrow is the SAT (best of luck to everyone), could you please rate my essay I wrote this morning for practice? and please give any suggestions. Thanks upfront</p>

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Assignment: Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Plan and write an essay
in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples </p>

<h1>taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </h1>

<p>The Question “Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way?” suggests that it may be worthy to think for yourself rather than following suggestions of others. In other words, despite being pressured from other people, if we are confident in what we believe, we should go for it. Throughout society and in life, the evidence to support my viewpoint is pervasive.</p>

<p>Take for example Kaiko Harigano, a stubborn Japanese emperor in the 1700’s. Being a narcissist, he always wanted his generals to do exactly as he demanded. For the battle of western China, he ordered general Chan to ambush from the southern gates, despite general Chan trying to explain to him that there is a very low probability that the enemy will strike from the direction they expected. General Chan knew he and his fellow companions, would be walking into death, so he did otherwise, he disobeyed the emperor's order, confident he would bring victory. When the day of the battle arrived, it turned out General Chan was correct, resulting in a victory for the Japanese, instead of a loss. As you can see, despite clear orders from Emperor Kaiko, General Chan was confident that he would bring victory if he used his own tactics instead of following the emperor’s orders.</p>

<p>Take note of Alfred Milligan, a young and bright English boy from the 1300’s. His father always wanted him to be a swordsman and got him top professional trainers to teach him how to swing a sword and defend himself properly. The truth is, Alfred was never passionate towards being a swordsman, his true passion lied in archery, his one true dream. He knew he would be the best archer in the military if he trained to be so. He confronted his father with his story, it was difficult for his beloved father to agree and send Alfred to an archery school, but he finally accepted. in six years time, Alfred has become the best young archer in the whole of England, bringing pride to his family. As you can see, if he never confronted his father with of going to Archery school, he would of never brought pride and joy to his father and family.</p>

<p>Clearly, the examples above show that even though you might have to disappoint a person you look up to, if you are confident in what you believe, it is worthwhile. Look at Chan, who was confident that he would bring victory even though he had to disobey orders from his emperor. Also take note of young Alfred, who confronted his father about his true dream, later on bringing pride and joy to the family. People should have confidence in themselves and follow what they believe, even though if it means disappointing someone.</p>

<p>Bump…</p>

<p>Hey man, pretty good essay but I think theres some room for improvement. For example, your opening sentence is not that great; your essay would be better without a word for word restatement of the question. I like your first example, but your second example doesn’t really convince me quite well. It would have been stronger if you just said that Milligan was taught a certain technique of shooting or something, but he just changed because he thought his own way was better, and he ended up becoming the best ranger in his ranks…</p>

<p>Other than that, it’s not bad at all - I’m giving it an 8 out of 12. I hope I’m not being too harsh…</p>