Rate my essay PLEASE! :D

<p>Prompt: Do children need protection and rights now more than ever?</p>

<p>In modern day, children need the same protection and rights as they ever did, if not more. In my opinion, all children should be given the opportunity to make a proper life for themselves. After all, without well-raised children in our society, what will our next generation turn out to be like? Through society, and in life, the evidence to support this opinion is pervasive.
Examine the example of Huck finn, the protagonist in the novel Huckeberry finn by Mark Twain. Raised by the abusive hand of his alcohol-addicted father, Huck grows up to be shunned by his society, because he lacks the basic social etiquette neccecary to survive in any modern day society. Despite Hucks cunning intelligence and street smarts, as an adult he will probably never reach his true potential because of his horrible childhood. It is not only a loss to Huck, but also to the society as a whole; who knows that huck could have created or contributed if he could live without his past to haunt him.
Next consider the example of the Holocause. Despite the fact that this was a horrible time period, where millions suffered under the abuse of one mans command, none of it would have been possible had the younger generation not been trained properly. Hitler ensured an environment where parents would foster a childs growth and development, at least up till the point where they entered school and were brainwashed by their teachers and peers. This garuntee of children reaching their full potential was one secret weapon Hitler used to try to ensure the success of his campaign.
Finally, consider the example of the sweatshops in India and many other third world countries. Many children are put to work, being forced to labor for long hours with minimal pay. Had these countries decided to put a stop ot this and pay more attention to the kids that would eventually make up their next generation, these countries would no longer be third world countries. After all, with so many children free from work, the number of brilliant minds increases as well.
Clearly the above examples show that in our community, we must try out best to advocate for child rights. After all, these kids such as huck, or many germans during hitlers time , are the ones who make up and define what the world will be like 30 years from now. It is our responsibility as a community to train this new generation, to ensure we are leaving the future of our world in good hands.</p>

<p>5
can you please score mine?
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/994331-can-you-please-score-my-sat-essay.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/994331-can-you-please-score-my-sat-essay.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>6/12 imo.</p>

<p>10char</p>

<p>6/12=dumb score. I imagine this would get anywhere from an 8 to a 10. If you can clean up some grammatical mistakes (i.e Holocause-although that was possibly autocorrect on computer) you should be good. Also, you repeatedly say consider or examine the example. You don’t need to do that. Simply saying, “Consider the sweatshops in India where kids are put to work”. In the last paragraph, you started two sentences in a row using the “After all”. Don’t do that. Don’t repeat yourself. Don’t repeat yourself.</p>

<p>it doesnt rlly matter- colleges dont care about the essay (or the writing section at all)</p>

<p>gosh well i wanna do well on the SAT!
thanks for grading it. *** with the low scores…i know this is AT LEAST a 7. i got a 10 on the last one and i thought it was crappier than this…</p>

<p>Also, what do you put to start a paragraph? I was taught (by excel) to put consider, and I’ve been thinking of another way to start it but i cant. :/</p>

<p>Oh I mistyped. I meant to say that putting “Consider” on its own would suffice, rather than putting “Consider the example”.</p>

<p>6< Your essay score <10</p>