Rate my supplemental essay, will rate/chance/whatever back :D

Colleges and Universities A-Z Georgia Institute of Technology
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<p>Georgia Tech's motto is: "Progress and Service." What does that mean to you? (136/150 word count so far)</p>

<p>The mutual dependency between progress and service is exactly what brought Georgia Tech to such a high standing. I want to continue adding to this progress by continuing down my path of service.</p>

<p>Progress and service is not a new concept for me, I have always lived by my personal motto: “community betterment begins with raising your hand, speaking up, and getting your hands dirty.”</p>

<p>For me, actions speak louder than words. That is why my whole life was spent helping those in need, whether it be by teaching an impoverished rural child the ABCs in an Indian school during my free time, or helping open up the UNICEF club in school, which raised over $200 in the first full year, my service to the community benefited a far range of people, and progressed me personally.</p>

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<p>You shouldn’t be posting your essay on line someone may copy it.</p>

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<p>@MichiganGeorgia‌ I suppose so, but I need a rating, do you think it’s good? or do you have any suggestions?</p>

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<p>There are a lot of clichés that I would Change (eg “getting hands dirty” “actions speak louder than words”. If you could convey the same message without using these phrases, it would be much better. </p>

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<p>The last paragraph sounds horribly lot like you’re bragging about your extra curricular achievements, I would remove that and leave it to the extra curricular section ( Unless its not mentioned there, then it’s fine to talk about it here). And like thatdudeinhs said, the cliches could be conveyed in a better manner. </p>