Rate these two 20-minute essays.

Test Preparation
1

<p>You know the drill: scale of 1-6, 6 being best, SAT II: Writing grader-style.</p>

<p>Please excuse me for making any historical inaccuracies. My excuse is that a twenty minute timer really scrambles my brain.</p>

<p>-</p>

<p>Prompt: Computers, word processors, and other modern technological devices make it unnecessary for people to know how to write well in their everyday lives.</p>

<p>Before there were computers and word processors, there was the printing press. It was a breakthrough when it first appeared, for it gave the masses the written version of what they had been saying, but could not express because of the educational deficiencies of the time. Alas, this invention proved to be only marginally helpful: the literacy of the general populace did not increase. This was because they had become complacent, i.e. instead of learning to read for themselves, they were content to listen to another person read to them, just as it had been before the printer had come about. Herein lies the problem: technological devices cannot replace writing ability.</p>

<p>Going back to the example mentioned above, the people did not have a general education available to them until modern times. In the meantime, most of them did not bother to learn the skill of writing. When the modern age finally arrived (and with it the establishment of public schools), people finally got the chance to learn how to write. Eventually, the literacy rate of the populace rose to its present number. Was this related to the printing press? Not in any way! The people could not benefit from the printer; they had to wait until other humans could instruct them on the art of writing.</p>

<p>The underlying reason for the presence of people who known how to write is that it fosters communication. Nonverbal and verbal sounds alike can get some of that job done. But some words and expressions are better put in writing. It is these written things that are remembered by future generations, not ephemeral gestures and spoken words. In essence, it is vital that people know how to write, so that posterity may come to understand what these people had to say. It is essentially a means of preserving civilization. True, technological devices are a part of civilization as well. And yet, they can only assist in spreading the word. The true message comes from a person's writing.</p>

<p>-</p>

<p>Prompt: Some people criticize city life for being dangerous, expensive, and noisy. Others describe country living as dull, culturally empty, and narrow. Where do you stand?</p>

<p>If I had to choose between the urban and the rural, I would pick the former. Yes, I might be selecting the more dangerous, more expensive, and noisier choice. But that not need necessarily be the case. </p>

<p>The city if often criticized for being a place of danger. While this observation is certainly true, there are safeguards against these dangerous things, namely, the police force. They are perhaps the most powerful organization in the city itself, and thus have the means to take on treacherous people, events, and other such shady material. If someone would only place his trust in the police, then he would certainly be guaranteed safety in his urban life.</p>

<p>Another criticism of the city is that is far too pricey. Yes, this is one of those anti-amenities country folk like to point out. But there is a solution: suburbs. Almost every city has them, and they are often much cheaper than what could be found in the inner metropolis. They may not always be more affordable, but city dwellers should be happy to have this alternative outlet.</p>

<p>A third strike against the city is that it is just too loud. With people, machines, and all sorts of other entities, this is to be expected. And yet, there are places within the city that are free or almost free of commotion. They can take on the form of museums or parks. In the former, it is mandated that people keep quiet; in the latter, there is a natural obligation to preserve the peace. There are countless other places of solace, particularly libraries, but these two areas are the most prominent of the places one could go to if he wishes to experience tranquility.</p>

<p>Those three criticisms are just a few of many aimed at discouraging people from living in a city. However, they can be remedied, and the rewards for staying in a city are rich: always something to do, always people to meet, and just a wide array of everything good and bad. If this is the price I pay for wanting to live in a city, then let me fork over my life savings.</p>

2

<p>I would give your first essay a 2 based on those historical inaccuracies. You base your essay on a gross error...that's not really forgivable in my terms.</p>

3

<p>I think I would also give your first essay a 2 -- maybe a 3. I don't think you really answered the prompt, since you talked about the printing press (without mentioning any modern technology) and then the importance of knowing how to write without relating it too much to modern technology.</p>

<p>Your second essay was a little bit better, but it seems like you contradicted yourself a few times. I think I would give it a 3.</p>

<p>Overall, there aren't too many grammatical errors, and I understand that it's difficult to write an essay in response to such a broad prompt in only 20 minutes. I think if you could spend just a little more time developing your ideas before you begin to write (at the sacrifice of some vocabulary, possibly), your essays would come out much better. The best thing you can do, obviously, is practice like this. =)</p>

4

<p>cannednish, I know someone who wrote about Catherine the Great freeing the serfs for some prompt dealing with emancipation, and she got a 9. I don't think the error I made was any less right or wrong than her's. My essay itself, on the other hand...</p>

<p>zach447, now that I reread the prompt, I acknowledge that the printing press may not count as "modern" - definitely mediaeval, though. I would say that my biggest flaw in the first essay is that is quite incoherent. </p>

<p>As for the second one, I found it a bit formulaic. Please tell me where I contradicted myself; I can't figure it out on my own, unfortunately. Thanks for your feedback.</p>

5

<p>Here are three more: </p>

<p>Prompt: "I've done some brave things in my life, but I really learned the meaning of courage when _______."</p>

<p>Unlike other people, I tend to learn about emotions just by reading about them. The time I learned about courage, I had just read about the Poles' actions in the second half of the 20th century, and about a character named Daenerys (also called Dany) in this book called "A Game of Thrones". Both reads proved immensely insightful in explaining the meaning of courage.</p>

<p>It was the end of World War 2, and the Polish people has just seen this conflict devastate their homeland. Worse was still to come. In the 1950's the Communists seized power, and did a most unforgivable thing: prohibiting open worship, which was a blow to the devout Poles. The Polish people could have just accepted this injustice. They chose otherwise. Under a certain Lech Walesa, they banded together and fought off the Communists, eventually regaining control of their country. Their show of courage in the face of hopelessness impacted me from that day forward. </p>

<p>In a more fantastical world, i.e. the novel "A Game of Thrones", Daenerys is married to a foreign person against her will. Naturally, she feels utmost shame and despair. And yet, she survives by listening to her inner voice, which tells her that she has dragon's blood. The dragon is a most powerful creature. Dany, naturally, became stronger after her internal monologue. It may have been her conscience that guided her, but I see it as just herself feeling determination in the face of helplessness. I felt equally courageous when I finished reading.</p>

<p>History and literature both can provide insight into that feeling we call courage. Whether it be the Poles fighting to regain their nation, or a young girl forced to marry against her wishes and surviving the ordeal, there are countless displays fo determination in these two mediums. I can safely say that I felt courage bubbling in my veins when I finished reading about the Poles and Dany.</p>

<p>Prompt: Every obstacle is an opportunity.</p>

<p>The trials of life need not be just trials. They can be something more: opportunities. The proves to be the case amongst the East Germans and the Berlin Wall, and the character Jon in "A Game of Thrones".</p>

<p>The citizens of East Germany had just seen their homeland laid to waste after the Second World War. Many of them fled to the less ruined West Germany. Upon hearing of this, the Communist leaders of East Germany were furious: they erected the berlin Wall in retaliation. The Wall served to sever links between the two Germanies. While it was standing, people, instead of wallowing in despair, found opportunities to communicate from outside and within the Wall. these included mail and pen-pal exchanges. Had the Wall not been erected, this might have never happened.</p>

<p>Jon of "A Game of Thrones" is a young, illegitimate child of a wealthy lord. For the crime of his birth, he is sent to the Wall, a complex intended for all the juvenile miscreants of the world. This is quite the obstacle for young Jon, and yet, he finds out that has opportunities. He makes friends, saves people, and eventually rises to the rank of Commander. All of this would not have been possible without the obstacle of his coming to the Wall.</p>

<p>In all actuality, what can be a hindrance at first sight might actually be help in disguise. This is clearly what happened to the East Germans and Jon: the two Walls did not impede their progress, but actually strengthened it. "What does not kill you will make you stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche</p>

<p>Prompt: Some people believe that war is never justified. Other people believe that war is justified under certain circumstances.</p>

<p>Is war justified? Yes, if the participants are fighting against the tyranny of an insane leader. Two particularly mad rulers were Charles of Spain and Aerys from the novel "A Game of Thrones".</p>

<p>Charles had been born to the royal house of Habsburg, but he was born disfigured and deranged. He was declared unfit to rule, but reigned anyway. His will was arbitary, and people suffered under his reign. Other European nations began to shceme to topple Charles, eventually leading to the War of the Spanish Succession. Although the countries definitely had ulterior motives, they were in the right for starting the war because they would be unintentionally portecting the Spanish people from any of the monarch's excesses. </p>

<p>King Aerys of "A Game of Thrones" was born to a family that practiced incest, so he naturally was born mentally ill. His insanity did not alarm most people until he declared war one day for no particular reason. His aim was to kill as many as possible. The other rulers of the world banded together to stop his menace. had they not united to make war, the number of people Aerys could have slaughtered would have been unimaginable.</p>

<p>War is most definitely a terrible thing. It is, alas, one of life's necessities. War need not always be meaningless, however. When it is used to depose mad monarchs such as King Charles of Spain and King Aerys, it is most definitely justified. In these cases, war is fought by the people for the people.</p>

6

<p>And two more:</p>

<p>Prompt: "The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves."</p>

<p>It is easy to blame one's mistakes on those who surround him. It is a trial to actually accept that it is oneself who causes his own griefs. Such an example can be found in the character of King Creon from Sophocles's play "Antigone", who orders the death of his soon-to-be daughter-in-law, refuses to obey his son, and takes lightly the words of a trusted soothsayer.</p>

<p>Creon's daughter-in-law, Antigone, goes against the law: she does the funeral rituals for her brother, whom Creon had declared heretical. For this, she is condemned to death by Creon himself. He could have absolved her from this particular crime, for Antigone was only following the ritual of the gods. Creon does not, because he places his desire above immortals. He orders the execution of Antigone, causing him the agony of losing his daughter-in-law, which he only realizes later.</p>

<p>Creon's son tries to persuade his father to recant his decision to kill Antigone. Creon, in a fit of stubbornness, insists on filial devotion; his son's words are ignored. Again, Creon could have tried to compromise with his child, and hopefully have found a solution to his current predicament. Instead, he sets off a chain of events that ends in his son's suicide, another tragedy for the king.</p>

<p>Soon after Creon has dealt with Antigone and her fiancee, he encounters a soothsayer renowned for his accuracy. The seer tells the king that if he should not reverse his decision to execute her, then further sorrow will develop. Creon believes himself to be his own master, and thus does not listen to the soothsayer. Unfortunately for Creon, after Antigone is dead and so is his son, his wife the queen commits suicide herself. Creon finally acknowledges the errors that he himself has brought about, but only after he has paid the price.</p>

<p>Creon thought himself superior to all. He pays no heed to Antigone's, his son's, or the soothsayer's words. As a result, the king loses everyone he loves. Such is the outcome of one who brought grief upon himself.</p>

<p>Prompt: "My life has been filled with good days, bad days, and days I no longer can remember, but one day I will never forget is _____."</p>

<p>Everyone has his share of good, bad, forgettable, and indelible days. The one day that will not be leaving my memory anytime soon is when my sister was born. I was ten at the time, and that particular day tested whether I could fulfill my responsibilities.</p>

<p>I awoke around 3:00 A.M. to find my father in my room. He told me that my mother was going into labor, and that he and my grandmother were going to see her. He asked if I would come. I told him no, since I still had school. He said that was okay, and left. I went back to sleep, and woke up once more at 6:00 A.M. to find a sunlit, empty house.</p>

<p>I knew what I had to do. I quickly cleaned up the mess around the house as fast as I could, taking care not to make things worse. I next went about preparing things for school, such as homework and my school supplies. After that was done, I finally sat down to eat breakfast. I began to wonder how I would receive information about my newly-born sibling. Then an idea came to me.</p>

<p>I promptly left the house at about 7:00 A.M., and headed to a family friend's house. Once I got there, I explained the situation to her. I even told her to call the school once the baby's gender had been determined. It did not seem quite right for someone as young as myself to have given so many commands. Nonetheless, that is what I did, if only for responsibility's sake. </p>

<p>Soon after describing the situation to my family friend, I left her house for school. As I approached, people gave me perplexed looks. My anticipation must have been showing. I waited and waited, and finally, at around 10:00 A.M., my classroom's telephone rang. My teacher answered it, and had a smile on her face when she hung up. It's a girl, she told everyone. Their cheers I will never forget, for they were unimaginably loud. I was cheering for myself, too, for acting as responsible as I could while my family was gone.</p>

7

<p><em>yawns</em></p>

<p>Anybody have spare time?</p>

8

<p>Here's my best one thus far, IMHO:</p>

<p>Prompt: "There are many things we all take for granted, but one thing I have learned never to take for granted is ____."</p>

<p>When I am exposed to the same thing over and over again, I tend to take it for granted. This is unfortunately how I treat a lot of things, but there is one thing that I have learned never to take for granted, and that is my learning experience.</p>

<p>Ever since Kindergarten, I have been a Straight-A student for the most part. That changed when I entered high school. I suddenly began to receive B's on my tests. Up to this point, the grade I got hardly mattered to me, since I usually got A's. But starting from my freshman year onwards, I have learned to accept my B's and to prize my A's. </p>

<p>I was not content with those B's, of course. I am not sure exactly when I got the revelation, but one day, an inner voice told me to study. I knew that had to be the key to raising my grades. So study I did, and lo and behold, I got the A's I wanted! I did not acknowledge it at the time, but I knew that I had finally begun to value the art of learning when I finally began studying. </p>

<p>During my sophomore year, I regularly studied for each of my classes, and it paid off! I got mostly A's, and a few B+'s. But that is not important compared to what I discovered that year: I actually appreciated learning! Prior to my days as a sophomore, but especially as a junior high-student, I almost always shrugged off what was being taught as just more information I needed to get an A. I believe I had been inured to getting high grades, and it really did not matter how I went about achieving it. However, once I began studying, I found myself amazed at what I was learning. Whether it be the zeros of a polynomial, Galileo's trial, or the family of Inert Gases, I knew that I was savoring what I was reading. It might have been my fear that I was going to receive low grades that spurred me to start studying, but I personally see it as myself learning to stop taking what I learn for granted.</p>

<p>I recall myself as a seventh-grader yawning as my teacher lectured about some Dutch microscope maker. That image shocks me today. I now see myself grinning with amazement over the trials Henry V must face, or enraptured with a symphony of Schubert. If this means I am a nerd, then so be it: at least I've learned to appreciated what I learn.</p>

9

<p>I didn't take the SAT IIs (or SAT II Writing for that matter) and I got accepted to Princeton and Yale.</p>