In brief, my D21 has found the college she claims she loves. It has everything going for it, not too far, works in the NPC, fairly sure she can get in (50% acceptance rate, she is an excellent student), major she is interested in. We did an open house and were really impressed. We have plans to go back to a spend a day and interview in April.
With my older son, we visited 30 colleges and applied to 12 and made a good choice. But he is having a rocky time and may end up transferring for next year. So I question that strategy as well.
I’m wondering if I should just stop looking at schools for my daughter and list the few we have toured and she has liked? Or keep eliminating possibilities.
I have always been the “exhaust all options to BE SURE this is what you want” kind of parent. But I’m also a tired parent, and figure if this is where she wants to go, and she can get in and we can afford it, then just let it go.
If your D is happy having a short list and there is a true safety on it, I don’t think you need to keep touring. My D had a friend that only applied to one school - a rolling admission safety close to home where she knew she’d get into honors and a big merit award. She was done in October and had a stress free senior year.
My only advice is to be sure that the 50% acceptance rate is accurate for your D’s intended major if the school admits by department.
Thank you for that. I do believe the major she is interested in is NOT in a special category that would have a different acceptance rate. BUT that’s a good thing to note, so thank you for that tip.
And confirm with your D’s guidance counselor that kids from YOUR HS with YOUR D’s stats get admitted to this college at a very high rate. The overall admit rate is irrelevant if your HS (for whatever reason-- grade inflation for example) has a poor track record with this college.
^^^these. Have a few safeties. When my kids applied they had definite safeties… Sorta just in case like insurance and they would of been happy to go there and that is key. But I feel for ya. If she found something that ticks all the boxes and is affordable (the big box to tick… Lol) that’s great
I am helping a friend with her daughter and they will be applying next year to “lots” of college and I feel like I am going through it all again. Keep us updated.
I did nearly the same thing with my eldest that you did with yours. It was fun, but exhausting.
With my second, I didn’t do all that. He applied to seven schools, one because I made him (wanted to see what kind of money they would offer, and no extra essay). He went with the cheapest option, instate, and is happy so far. We were very certain he would get in because our school’s Naviance said he would.
In your daughter’s shoes, I think I would apply to at least 3-4 schools total, including a very definite safety. If nothing else, kids like knowing they have options, and a lot can change between application time and acceptance time. My son, in fact, ended up at the school we thought he was least likely to want, because it didn’t seem to fit the criteria he originally said he was looking for. As happens to many kids, his priorities changed.
I guess I’m thinking about this now as she has some breaks coming up and the summer to think about…and plotting road trips to visit some schools.
And yes, things change…
I just feel like NOT looking at other options is dereliction of duty. But then again, when I tell my kid “we are going to see UOFX on Saturday” I get sighs, and tantrums and dragged fee> she doesn’t even WANT to see other schools at this point.
Not a dereliction of duty at all- and guess what- it’s still OK to apply to a college your D hasn’t visited. So if she starts to get “what if’s” and “could be” next year, she can apply… if she gets in, and it’s affordable- she’ll visit. And if not- at least she tried, right?
If you are both burnt out, AND if she seems happy with the schools she’s identified already- that’s a win/win! If you want to post the name of the “I think I love it” college, perhaps posters here can save you some time and offer up one or two “kids who love X college also love Y college” so you don’t have to do the marathon of visits- just add one or two to the list over the summer when your D is feeling less pressured?
One thing we did with our kids “before” doing major onslot of college tours, was to go to a campus. Find a place to eat lunch and walk around. This helped in getting the “fit” question out of the way. My daughter knew right away she needed a small Lac and my son wanted large Big Ten atmosphere. But both did see their opposite campuses just to be sure once.
Plus both have said that the walking tours are all the same. How many chemistry buildings with 3d printers can they possibly see?? Lol… Even the talks are very similar… Rah, Rah this school!
So for local choices it was just easier in Sophomore and Junior year to say “I found this great Burger place” let’s go for lunch. Afterwards I want to walk around. Just happened to be on Northwestern’s campus… Hmmm
. How did that happen? ?
At one school my son thought it would be fun to actually join a walking tour group for a bit. We just stayed in back… Far back… Lol
Later that year he did the official engineering talk /tour.
I can totally relate. My S’21 has narrowed down (with our considerable help researching) to 4-6 and I’m thinking why push for more when he said he really likes his list.
He’s our oldest, and I’m tired, too. It’s a lot of work planning tours and dates and visits while balancing junior year demands and family and other sibling EC demands.
I will watch this thread!!
OP I totally understand your feelings. I’m that way too, I get it. I felt like we “left some options on the table” with my S19s search…he was happy with his options, me too, but there were a couple more schools that I would have liked him to check out but he wasn’t interested. He was satisfied, and he ended up at a really great place.
I guess we have to remember that is truly their search and process (parental concerns such as finance/distance/etc excepted) and that our kids often don’t share our personalities, such as being a super-analyzer/research all options, and that’s OK. ALso remember that there are so many great schools, you really don’t have to explore every option to find “the one”. If she feels great about the school and her process, try to take that lead. But I know it’s hard! If she’s dragging her feet about any other visits, she probably won’t like the schools possibly out of principle LOL, and it’s getting to a take-the-horse-to-water situation!
Why can’t she visit after she is accepted? That’s what many kids do. If she is fed up, don’t make her do it. Visiting after acceptance, imo, is now the way to go, unless the college is really close by. But even then, it’s not totally necessary.
Once my son had some sure bets that he liked, he was done. I suggested visiting a big U about two hours away, and he very sensibly said “I have enough schools that I like. I’ll visit if I don’t get into my other choices.” He did apply EA or rolling decision to a few schools, so I was fine with that.
Btw, I’m not sure with just two kids from your school admitted that I would count that as a safety yet. If her grades and scores put her above the 75th percentile, it’s affordable, and they consider interest, then she probably does have a safety. I do think two safeties is better.
Does the school have EA or rolling admissions? If so then I think you can stop touring guilt-free. She can apply and get a decision in plenty of time to come up with a plan B in the unlikely event she gets deferred or rejected.
And I agree with @Lindagaf about waiting to visit until after she is accepted- DS19 didn’t visit his college until he got accepted and is happy as a clam at high tide - he didn’t like touring schools very much either. I didn’t visit my school until after I’d matriculated, so he comes by it honestly. In my defense, they did send me a nice brochure with pretty pictures…
@RockySoil I laugh! School does have Early Action which would be Nov 2020 and she would have a decision by DEC 2020. You are right, if she didn’t get in then she would have latitude to find another school.
As I posted above, now that Junior year is waning I want to take her to some other schools, but there is a large, tired chunk of mama that just can’t see one more Starbucks or quidditch field. And D is the complaining type who just won’t cooperate.
I guess I feel like I’m giving up. Hearing everyone’s perspective has been enlightening, so thank you!
I have seen a few cases (mostly in my immediate family) where we found a great match which was also a safety. In these cases I do not see much point in researching a long list of universities.
In cases like this I would try to find a second safety to apply to. I would make sure that both safeties are going to be affordable (which is part of the definition of “safety”). Otherwise I do not think that you need to find a long list of schools. Any one student can only attend one college at a time.
Your daughter is going to college, not you. So why feel like you are giving up because YOU don’t want to look at more schools?
Let her guide the process. She’s making her decisions right now. Stop dragging her to do stuff she doesn’t want to do. You’ve looked at some schools. You don’t have to look at ALL schools.
What’s her unweighted GPA? Test score? You can look at the Common Data Set, section C, for any college. Look at the stats for the range of GPA and test scores for admitted students. It will tell you, for example, that at U Delaware, 72% of kids submitted SAT scores, the rest submitted ACT. The top 75th percentile of admits had SAT reading scores above 670, and SAT math scores above 680. The bottom 25th had reading of 590 and below, math 580. If she’s in the middle 50th, she might be okay. Not so okay of below the 25th. Better chance if above the 75th. The CDS also tells us that 34% of admits were in the top 10% of their graduating class.
If the school considers interest (section C7, CDS), she can express interest in other ways besides visiting. Lots of threads discussing how to do that, but basically, colleges know that all kids can’t visit. She can sign up for emails, open them, reach out to the regional admissions rep, sign up for info at a college fair, etc… If they consider interest and she makes no effort, yes, it can be a problem. But it doesn’t have to be a visit.
You can also use a website such as College Data to help estimate her chances.
My S19 was similar to your D about not wanting to do visits. I had visited many with my D17 and mostly enjoyed that experience, so I was kind of looking forward to round 2. However, after dragging my S to two universities that are close by, he put a halt to the college visits. He didn’t enjoy them and didn’t feel it would affect where he wanted to apply/attend. Now he did apply to 16 schools and many of them were reach schools, but he wanted to wait until acceptances were in to consider options and maybe visit. Still, I had to push the issue of attending one accepted students’ day. Ugh