Read it, Hope youll like it!

College Essays
1

<p>Now that all my college crap is done and im just waiting for acceptance/rejection letters
what do you guys think of my essay i wrote.?
please dont copy youll just put yourself in a bad situation</p>

<p>Ever since I can remember, I have always looked up to the night sky with amazement and awe. I always pondered over the size of the sky and whether it ended or not. The universe was always a topic that excited but it wasn't until middle school that I discovered the topic of astronomy and physics.
The first time I saw Carl Sagan's show The Cosmos, I was drawn in to the matter of the universe. The part I vividly remember was when Sagan did a comparison of the size of Earth to the size of other stars and planets in our universe. My mind was blown way by the fact that the size of our world is minuscule compared to other objects. A new door opened for me that day and a hurricane of information was hitting me.
The universe to me is the most interesting system in existence. How could anyone not be baffled by how and why the universe works the way it does? The intricacies and parts that make up the universe are amazing. Every part of our universe has some purpose and all of those parts are designed to serve some grand purpose that we have yet to discover. Having learned some of these functions and structures, I cannot help but ponder what it says about the universe as a whole. If so much detail was put into the universe up to the very quark, I have to believe that humans would be given an equally important function in our universe.
There will always be new and unanswerable questions in the field of astronomy. That is why studying it is so amazing, we can barely understand earth let alone the vastness of the cosmos. For all we know we could have 100 billion other universes surrounding our universe. Imagine everything we know of fitting into the size of a pea, now imagine that pea of sand being dropped in the middle of the ocean with trillions of other peas, it is beyond us to imagine that scale.
Even though the universe is the most mysterious, amazingly bizarre and inconceivably vast thing that no one has any idea where it came from, how it came to be, why it came to be, or whether its part of something even bigger, I believe that it is our duty as conscious humans to search its vastness for the answers.
*</p>

2

<p>It doesn’t really rhyme.</p>

3

<p>ehh it’s alright. ur just telling a bunch of facts to the admissions officers who already know all of this stuff.</p>

4

<p>zzzzzzz… generic.</p>

5

<p>It’s a bit dramatic, but showed passion.</p>

<p>Imo more information about what you intend to do with the major, outlook for yourself, and how you’ve prepared yourself for the major would be better.</p>

6

<p>It’s not bad, really descriptive/vivid, but kindof cliched.</p>

7

<p>It was good. It’s really comical how college essays turn our normal everyday vocabulary into a sort of novelistic diction. Well, I certainly hope that you get accepted to your college of choice.</p>

8

<p>“Always” can be found 3 times in the 1st paragraph. Probably could use a little more variety</p>

<p>Sent from my DROIDX using CC</p>

9

<p>i feel you explained things well and gave a good example toward the end with the question you were asking…as far as choosing different ways to say the same thing, well it would have benefitted from some creativity there.</p>

<p>perhaps the missing hook would have been to ‘connect’ the outer universe with the inner systems within, all working together in a harmonious existence…comparing a topic that may or may not be the readers favorite with their own human structure may have drawn your readers in a little more…</p>

<p>mild suggestion only…for the most part, I imagine this would not hurt your chances any…I hope you get what you are wishing for…</p>

10

<p>It’s not engaging enough i think. even though it doesn’t have to be a story (which are much easier to make interesting than other genres) it does have to be engaging and unique. This may have a uniqueness to it but really after an admissions officer reads a ton of essays this is just another one in the pile.</p>

<p>I don’t mean to be offensive, just critiquing. It doesn’t matter for you anyway cause you’re already in college! Congrats! May I ask where you going to?</p>