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Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Prompt: Can success be disastrous?</p>

<p>Success has the ability to bring about disastrous consequences to those who have succeeded in achieving a personal goal. Both literature and personal experience provide support forthe damaging effects of success.</p>

<p>In Shakepeare's play, The Tempest, Prosper demonstrates the disastrous potential of success. Prospero, a sorcerer and once great king, was robbed of his title and exiled to an island by his brother, Antonio. As an outcast, Prospero planned to bring his brother to the island and seek revenge. By using manipulative tactics and magic, Prospero succeeded in bringing his brother to the island and tormenting him. Despite Prospero's success in achieving his goals, Prospero could not bring himself to enjoy his success because he blamed himself for using manipulative tactics to take advantage of his brother - the same thing Antonio did to him. As a result of his success, Prospero was unable to see himself as a morally just person. Success proved to be a disastrous event in Prospero's life that caused him to doubt his understanding of himself.</p>

<p>Based on personal experience, I know that success can be a detrimental factor in a person's life. The school I attend is very competitive and all of the students compete to he the best. My group of friends and I are all at the top of our class, but one friend in particular wanted to be the best; she wanted to be valedictorian. For months she studied past midnight and on weekends, she refused to to go out with our friends, insisting that she had to study. Despite the fact that she succeeded in becoming number one in our class, she had become estranged from the rest of my friends. Although her hard work proved to be a success, she lost most of her friends along the way. Thus, success proves to be a damaging event in her life that she must now live with. </p>

<p>After a careful analysis of Shakespeare's The Tenpest and my own personal experiences. Success can indeed be disastrous. Success is the key to personal growth, but it may also leave you regretting your actions.</p>

<p>That's my essay, but I have a few questions for those who are SAT writing experts. Would it be beneficial for me to add another support/another paragraph? (in this case I would have referenced Oedipus Rex). Thanks for the input! Leave a link to your essay if you want me to read it :)</p>

2

<p>Sorry for all the small errors, I’m typing on my phone</p>

3

<p>Your essay is good enough. Your examples are relevant, although the first was slight ambiguous and needed a clearer path. Your second example was exemplary. However, in regards to your question, no, it is not required to write another paragraph unless you can find the time to do so during your 25 minutes. But, chances are, you won’t be able to write another paragraph without sacrificing quality. Two examples are more than enough if convincing enough, and elaborated on appropriately. Two example essays that were well written and organized have yielded 12s time and again. </p>

<p>My grade: 9 or a 10.</p>

4

<p>For my first example, are you saying I should have explained the relationship to thesis better/the disastrous effects of the success? And btw, thanks for the feedback!</p>

5

<p>Yes, blabbermouth. I didn’t feel you connected the example to the thesis adequately.</p>

6

<p>Here’s my take from this essay:

There is no transition from paragraph one in relation to paragraph two showing the logical flow between the two ideas.</p>

<p>

I find this personal example as not the best piece of evidence to support your claim. The story has kind of a praising tone of your friend and I feel as if there are controversies within your piece that would weaken this evidence. Just my approach to personal stories such as this.</p>

<p>

I liked the intro. Nice and terse, to the point, and spelled out clearly.</p>

<p>

I was thinking a little more strong language would help. The ending is nice though.</p>

<p>I really liked the first example as well. I’d probably give this essay an 8 or 9.</p>

7

<p>With the transition from first to second example, is the reference to the first example always necessary/beneficial?</p>

8

<p>

I feel as if you just quickly tie back, it would be beneficial. Keep in mind by tying back, it imbeds the ideas presented in your thesis throughout the essay multiple times and also gives it a bit more authority.</p>