Read my essay?

<p>Here is the prompt:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>

<p>And my response:</p>

<pre><code> The first time I went to Natural Bridges State Beach, eight years old and wearing Looney Tunes overalls and heelys, was the day that I became Princess Jasmine, Protector of the Helpless. I got off to a rocky start; falling bottom first into a large tide pool and soaking my butt in cold water, but within no time was nimbly navigating through the rocks and pools of water. I saw two boys, probably four or five years older than me, squatting over a crevice, excitedly pouring over a crab they had just discovered. One boy took off his shoe and was swinging the shoelace in front of the crab, taunting it to see if it would latch on with its claw; the other boy was calling for his parents—undoubtedly so he could brag about his new finding. Despite the calls from my mother, I dropped my socks and shoes (which I had taken off earlier in order to maneuver the rocks with more agility) and charged the two boys, like a small warthog protecting its young from a pack of cheetahs. They tumbled over, and, awestruck and now wet, started to cry. Unfortunately, before I could assume my regal and pleased position for this act of justice (hands on my hips, head tilted towards the sky), I was grasped tightly by the arm by my mother and forced to apologize. Despite the fact that this story should bring me shame for being too passionate and intrusive, I tell it with pride. While most people say that they protect the environment by recycling paper or using a water bottle twice, I can say that I have gone out of my way to protect biodiversity every summer since that day. It fills me with pride to assume my self-granted role of Protector of the Helpless and patrol the tide pools, informing citizens of their rights and restrictions. There are too many people who don’t realize the importance of biodiversity, and even more people who know and don’t care. I take pride in defending animals, because they don’t have a voice. They can’t tell us when they’re hurting or lonely; all they can do is give us a sign. And that crab was giving me a sign. But my life isn’t just about saving a few crabs or starfish; it’s about making connections. I am a very compassionate person—don’t judge me for attacking those boys—and it kills me to see any kind of animal suffer because of something that could have been prevented. I’m sure every girl has the dream of “saving animals” when she was a child--because no little girl wants to see a pony being kicked or a puppy being scolded, but I never grew out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I have killed a few bugs in my day, but there is something inside of me that can’t wait to make more connections and have a bigger voice. There is no limit to the power of Princess Jasmine, Protector of the Helpless.
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<p>any feedback helps!</p>

<p>Word of advice. Never post your essay in the public. People could steal the idea or essay as a whole. If you want help then have people say they’re willing and then PM the essay to them.</p>