Read my essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Prompt:

[quote]
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.</p>

<p>It is easy to imaging that events and experiences in our lives will be perfect, but no matter how goo something turns out to be, it can never live up to our expectations. Reality never matches our imaginations. For that reason, we should make sure our plans and goals are modest and attainable. We are much better off when reality surpasses our expectations and something turns out better than we through it would.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Essay:

[quote]
Goals in everyday life are meant to help us plan our course of action to obtain the things we desire. Some people set the bar below what they are capable of, fearing that failure will mar them forever. But those who are strong and persistent set the bar just slightly out of reach, giving them the motivation to go the “extra step”.</p>

<p>During the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, Michael Phelps stunned the world when he won 8 Olympic gold medals, surpassing Mark Splitz as the winner of the most Olympic gold medals in a single game. As a child, Phelps promised himself that he would one day win an Olympic gold medal. Although he didn’t win a medal in the 200 Sydney Games, he didn’t give up. In the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, he shocked the world by winning 6 gold medals, a goal he thought was beyond his reach at the time. During the next four years, he set his sights on a goal that many have dreamed of, but never achieved, 8 gold medals in a single Olympic game. Many were doubtful that he would be able to accomplish such a thing, but he proved them wrong. Not only did he smash Splitz’s record, he did it in world record manner. Setting the bar high not only helps in the pool, but also in times of crisis.</p>

<p>In The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, the Joad family faced unbelievable hardships. Because they were forced off their land, they gathered what they had left and headed to California. On he way, the Joads encountered people along rest stops. Many told them to turn back because “California was nothing but lies”. Despite this, the Joads continued. Even the death o Grandpa and Grandma didn’t help them from reaching California.</p>

<p>Sometimes unattainable goals can be obtained when the person truly yearns for it. Looking back, Michael Phelps and the Joads can truly appreciate how “reality surpassed [their] expectations and [it] turned out better than [they] thought.”

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</p>

<p>It's my first essay in a while, kind of rusty. Please critique/rate and tell me what I can do better.</p>

2

<p>what is the assignment?</p>

3

<p>Introduce your examples in the intro. Good thesis, try to connect your example with your thesis in your second body paragraph.</p>

<p>10/12</p>

4

<p>Maybe a 9-10. There are some grammatical errors [i.e. "the death o Grandpa and Grandma didn't help them from reaching California"]. Also, the second example seems somewhat weak and underdeveloped. There doesn't seem to be much mention of "setting the bar" or anything; the conclusion seems kind of skimpy as well. </p>

<p>But I think the first example and introduction are quite strong.</p>

5

<p>Oh crap the assignment was

[quote]
Is it best to have low expectations and set goals we are sure of achieving?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>
[quote]
Maybe a 9-10. There are some grammatical errors [i.e. "the death o Grandpa and Grandma didn't help them from reaching California"]. Also, the second example seems somewhat weak and underdeveloped. There doesn't seem to be much mention of "setting the bar" or anything; the conclusion seems kind of skimpy as well.</p>

<p>But I think the first example and introduction are quite strong.

[/quote]

I wrote it on paper, and just quickly typed it. Most of the typos in the essays aren't there on paper. lol xD
My second example and conclusion are weak because I ran out of time. I took too long writing the first half of my essay, still need to find my rhythm.</p>