<p>Will anybody provide feedback on this essay?</p>
<p>My mother was once a college dropout. After a year at a small liberal arts school in Massachusetts, she left to return to the place she loved, New York City, to do what she loved, play music. She spent almost a decade as a college dropout, singing in various bands and waiting tables. Though her life wasn’t easy, she was happy and she brought people joy with her clean, soft-toned voice. Then, she read a story in the newspaper and her career as a singer ended abruptly. </p>
<p>The story was about a child who was killed by his own father. Within weeks, my mother was enrolled in City College to pursue a career in social work. Today she oversees thousands of foster children as Vice President of New York Foundling. But at age 55 she refuses to stay put. Every three to five years she changes jobs, unwilling to become complacent when she feels her talents can help more children elsewhere.</p>
<p>When my father had cancer, my mother said to me, “There is one thing that you can’t control in life and that’s your health. Everything else is up to you. Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.”</p>
<p>I was twelve years old when she said that, but the words often reemerge in various situations. They’ve become a bit of a personal motto and they are affecting my decision to transfer colleges. I have the opportunity to be happier and thrive in a new setting, and I intend to take it. </p>
<p>My first year of college has taught me lessons about being a young adult and living in an academic community that I couldn’t have known last spring as an eager senior in high school. I cannot blame my former self for basing his college decision on the aesthetics of the campus and the ra-ra, happy attitude of my tour guide. But after a few weeks living on a college campus I realized that the undergraduate experience has many layers, all of which should complement attending students and permit them to pursue their goals. </p>
<p>The most important layer affecting my decision to transfer is student culture. I am eager to discover a student culture that best complements my personality. </p>
<p>As a New Yorker, I love to show off that my schooling has allowed me to grow up with a widely diverse array of individuals. On a more personal level, I’ve been blessed for the last three years with an adopted younger brother from China. He, more than anybody I’ve ever encountered, has taught me that love is blind.</p>
<p>I’ve become accustomed to diversity and the affect it can have on both my education and my identity. <a href="Maybe%20cut%20these%20two%20sentences%20for%20length?">As a student of the humanities I cannot overestimate the significance of learning among individuals from widely different backgrounds. As an individual, the ability to understand other cultures and ethnicities not objectively, but naturally by living among them is something I value.</a></p>
<p>Furthermore, I seek a student body that lives and learns in the 21st century. As a relentlessly devoted student, I value my individual readings, homework assignments, and exams. However, modern students recognize that today’s greatest achievements and most significant lessons learned can be gained through collaboration. I want to enter a body of students that does not pay tuition to get the right grades that get the right degree that get the right job. Instead, they greet each day with the energy required to harness their collective skills and strive for greatness.</p>
<p>Lastly, I seek a community that supports each other. I don’t care where you came from or what makes you you. College is a unique opportunity to thrive in a family of thousands and I intend to accept and benefit from every student I meet in the next three years. </p>
<p>As my mother’s life story has taught me, change is not a bad thing. Though transferring means a collegiate reset, I do not fear what will be required of me in a new environment---I relish it. It is a change that will help me improve myself and allow me to reach a higher level of integration and contribution in the undergraduate setting. It is a change for the better. </p>